The Vaccinations

[Sorciere]

She offered me a sugar lump

This women I knew not

I smiled politely, said 'no thanks'

Street smarts I sure have got

 

My momma said it was ok

To take the sticky sweet

In fact she seemed a tad too keen

I squirmed and kicked my feet

 

Now understand I am not one

To turn my back on candy

But this whole thing stank of a plan

Which wasn't fine and dandy

 

See when my momma seems real keen

For me to eat 'fore lunch

I know that something is amiss

Right was I, in my hunch

 

Just as I opened up my mouth

A few things did unfold

In went a bitter sugarlump

While the stanger did grab hold

 

My right arm now firm in her grasp

My mouth full of some crap

She stuck a needle in my arm

I knew it was a trap

 

I looked at momma eyes all full

And glared at evil witch

I vowed right there, the age of three

One day I'd get that bitch

 

Two years on and here I am

Back in the nurse's chair

My momma said I had been sick

So she had brought me there

 

But I remembered all the pain

She caused me with her trap

And when she said hun, open wide

I threw up in her lap

[Wyvern]

Wyvern laughs out loud a bit before commenting...

 

A very fun and clever piece of writing, Sorciere... the ending was priceless! The poem evoked many smiles from me and I laughed several times while reading it. One line you might want to improve upon is the final line of the fourth stanza, which might read better as "Right it was, my hunch." Just a suggestion...

 

Having said this, Wyvern notes that Sorciere has become a very reliable source for excellent, down-to-Earth poetry...

[Canid]

I hope that wasn't a true story.... good none the less.

 

"I looked at momma eyes all full

And glared at evil witch" - I think that those two lines - at least the latter - need rewording. Maybe using a semi-colen at the end of the first and changing the second line to "Glared at the evil witch"?

I assumed at first you meant the nurse was the evil witch but reaching the end wasn't sure...

 

At any rate, I enjoyed reading that and apart from that one line I found it a smooth read (unbroken by confusion).

 

I actually looked at it in the first place because I happen to hold an uncommon opinion of the value of vaccinations; for the most part I think them a bad idea.

- Their effect on your immunity level is not as permanent as getting said disease.

- They are not always effective.

- Some types of vaccine occasionally cause the disease being imunized against.

- The diseases against which people are vaccinated are often rare or not serious (the flu vaccinations for example)

- Vaccines contain various toxins - some at hazardous levels (such as mercury) and have been known to cause serious side effects in a large number of cases.

- Studies commonly quoted by pro-vaccine material regaurding the effects of past vaccination programs in foriegn contries have been compared to contries that had no vaccination program and the same epidemic with the conclusion that in both vaccinated and unvaccinated countries, the disease rates dropped at the same pace.

- Vaccinations are a multi-billion dollar industry... just something to keep in mind.

 

 

I hope I have given you something to think about... and I liked your poem!

[Parmenion]

This had me chuckling manically. It was a great read from start to finish and was refreshingly original and humourous!! Its another fabulous addition to an already impressive collection. Bravo!

 

[DL_Snake]

praise from the half-dragon himself. I'm impressed =)

 

lovely funny poetry my dear

[Peredhil]

Oh what a wonderful romp of fun. I hope everyone who has been a child and suspicious of doctors could relate as well as I. I *liked* this!