SoaringIcarus Posted September 1, 2003 Report Posted September 1, 2003 Would it be okay If I just stayed here for a while To clear my psyche Of all the misdeeds I carry, like two soggy suitcases Filled with obsolete documents In a jargon only my blind fingers and numb eyes Can taste. And it's like the spice in the spine of a novel Gone rotten; such bad taste and poor placement. My placement tests. The judges have long since died; Burried within my self-perception. I used to rhapsodize. I didn't used to be this way. Would it be okay If I just stayed here for a while I don't eat much, take up space or make much sound I'll sleep on these suitcases, beneath the guest bed And you won't even know I'm here. We won't even know I'm here.
reverie Posted September 1, 2003 Report Posted September 1, 2003 Well, icarus what can I say... you never cease to surprise me... I'm not sure what you did here, but I like it. You took a common line and expanded upon it making it your own... bravo. "Would it be okay If I just stayed here for a while" You meanings bleed from one line into another, in a sort of rambling way. Once again, I have know idea what you did here, but I like it. revery the dreamlost "how can you just leave me standing alone in a world so cold(prince)" the dream continues...
Peredhil Posted September 2, 2003 Report Posted September 2, 2003 Peredhil makes a guest room for Soaring Icarus and give a key to the front door. Anytime - you should already know that. All change is stressful - give it two weeks. We miss you already. By the way - great poem.
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