Beautiful Nightmare Posted August 27, 2003 Report Posted August 27, 2003 It’s not the pain I’m used to it Its feeling like i've been stabbed in the heart I’m not with you And I do not know what to do To get you mine Cos everytime I see you My heart gives a leap And I just don’t know what to do I cant live without you Do you like the way I am? Do you want me to be different? Well f@@k you. I love you its true But I’m not changing the way I am I’ll just think of another plan But everytime I see you I know it’s meant to be And I don’t know what to do When I’m dreaming of you.
Parmenion Posted August 29, 2003 Report Posted August 29, 2003 There are many ways in the English language to express one's opinion other than cursing. The tone and manner in which you used it was very direct and very powerful - not necessary in my opinion. I ain't no saint - in that I have cursed in writing before but only in humour I believe (me runs to re-read all works for fear of being hypocritical). I'm disappointed. Thats my honest opinion.
Peredhil Posted August 29, 2003 Report Posted August 29, 2003 Peredhil walks in and listens to her recital, surreptiously making big eyes at the pithy word. My Dad used to say swearing showed a lack of imagination... But when slipped and shoved his hand in the fire, I guess he wasn't feeling imaginative... I like the candid way you admit your love, your confusion, your giddy feel - but assert your own identity that was there before, and will be there after, him. You're getting better with every piece you write Hon'. I'm really proud of how you're using your poetry so honestly. I'll take a gut piece that shows a human heart over a meticulously crafted computer generated poem any day. Hugs
Ayshela Posted August 29, 2003 Report Posted August 29, 2003 Sometimes, honest expressions of pain and confusion are less than elegant. One honest word/phrase, an expression geared to grab someone's attention and make them notice the rejection of their demands, does not IMO negate a heartfelt searching piece. i like this.
DL_Snake Posted September 2, 2003 Report Posted September 2, 2003 listen to the big broter lectures hahahaah...parmy, you can scold her at home Me, although i don't like swear words very much, using them in poetry somehow conveys the true feelings of the writer at that moment. Perhaps if you wrote it at another time, you won't be so inclined to use them
Alaeha Posted September 2, 2003 Report Posted September 2, 2003 Well... I like it. For myself, the only time I swear, ever, is in a direct quotation of someone who did, because I prefer to deliver someone else's words as they were given, to be interpreted as such. So in my work, it would be very much out of place... But swearing, in poetry, is much like anything else... If you use it right, it's an effective tool. It's a tool that I myself don't use, and that (to be perfectly honest) I find distasteful. But that does not mean that it doesn't have a place. *Reads what she's said* Wow... If this sounds harsh... I don't mean it as such. I'm just tired and coping with some unpleasant events right now.
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