DL_Snake Posted August 23, 2003 Report Posted August 23, 2003 Flowers bloom, and they wither But your looks, they survive the winter The sun rises but leaves at night As your radiance keeps forever alight A fair face, empty of wit Is apt to give me a fit but your beauty is to be coupled with An intelligence due to complete the gift All these days you cheer me swift All these days you make my heart lift Never ever will darkness loom S'long as I have your bloom Alas, alas, would that be true You make my heart oh so blue Would that you feel as I feel for you Not the friend you think in lieu
Parmenion Posted August 23, 2003 Report Posted August 23, 2003 *hugs* Glad to see you writing again! Ive missed you! I love the poem! I never really like love poems normally i think there too i dunno lovey dubby and mushy but i like this poem! Well done!
Beautiful Nightmare Posted August 23, 2003 Report Posted August 23, 2003 lol soooorrrrry that was me not parmenion i forgot i was logged in with his name stupid brother! *slaps her brother* Again sorry!
Alaeha Posted August 23, 2003 Report Posted August 23, 2003 I like this. The contrast between the imperfect rhymes and the observed perfection of the subject could be taken any number of ways... Wow. That's all I've got to say right now. Sorry. *Hugs*
Rhapsody Posted August 23, 2003 Report Posted August 23, 2003 Loved the last line, wonderful use of vocab in "lieu". It has this quaint medieval feel to it with your "S'long" and "alas". I love the archaic feel of it. your imagery with flowers and light is pretty and effective.
DL_Snake Posted August 24, 2003 Author Report Posted August 24, 2003 THank you you guys! Alaeha your comments cheered my otherwise dull day and Rhapsody absolutely captured my poem =) What can i say to arwen and sorciere except *huggles both*
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