Solivagus Posted August 18, 2003 Report Posted August 18, 2003 (edited) I pace around my room, anger etching my face. Exactly 5 paces-such a small room. But here, here and in mIRC I am free, unlimited space for unlimited work. I promised myself I wouldn't come here. Promised myself I'd stay away. People calling me a liar, people claiming I invented everything. EVERYTHING they claimed! So I took a vow never to return to this place, never again to set foot inside these halls. But here I am. Writing again. Rambling on endlessly in a room I can pace for a lifetime and never reach the end. Pathetic, isn't it? I don't even have control over my own mind. I try so hard to concentrate, to stay away and to keep my vows, but my mind betrays me. So here I am, back after a long, long time. Who cares if they call me a liar...I suppose I do but that's not enough. I hear voices in the wind, hear them whispering in my ears, telling me what I must at least TRY to do, no matter what I promised. And so I take up my pen again, and try to think of something to write, while hoping that the people who called me a liar, a fraud, a person who created an entire web of people out of THIN AIR, will change thier minds in time! Heinrich will come again, facing his demons and fears, breaking his oaths made in anger and despair. Heinrich will come again, just as I have. Forgive me, all who I have wronged, and thankyou Elders, for not hounouring my request to delete my account. Edited August 18, 2003 by Solivagus
Peredhil Posted August 18, 2003 Report Posted August 18, 2003 Once a Penner, always a Penner... Something about the ink gets into your blood I think. Just as a side note, there were also those of us who didn't think you were a liar. Interesting how we can choose to be offended, and choose who can offend us... Welcome back. Hugs Peredhil
Solivagus Posted August 18, 2003 Author Report Posted August 18, 2003 Thankyou for those words Peredhil. And thankyou for your support when I needed it. I don't know what I would have done without your help.
Vlad Posted August 18, 2003 Report Posted August 18, 2003 *smiles and watches from a dark corner* Welcome back, both you and Heinrich. You were missed.
Falcon2001 Posted August 18, 2003 Report Posted August 18, 2003 Yeah, I think the ink gets in your blood...how come I have this strange hunger for wiggly cabbage?
Degenero Angelus Posted August 18, 2003 Report Posted August 18, 2003 Welcome back, man. It wasn't the same without you (Even though I didn't actually know you'd left.)
Lady Celes Crusader Posted August 19, 2003 Report Posted August 19, 2003 It's funny to see the plethora of people who say they'll left the Pen for good but are always coming back.
Alaeha Posted August 20, 2003 Report Posted August 20, 2003 That's why I never intend to leave "for good". *Hugs Sol*
Degenero Angelus Posted August 20, 2003 Report Posted August 20, 2003 I left for good a few times, and look how far I got? The closest I've ever been to leaving was after my PC broke...
Rune Posted August 20, 2003 Report Posted August 20, 2003 To live one's life in fear of what other's think is to live a short and uneventful life. To live one's life full of respect for ones self is to a live a life that when reflected upon feels like an eternity and each moment remembered warmly. I am not sure why anyone would think you had lied and if they did I think they should be more concerned as to why because they are your friends. Lying is not always a horrible thing in my opinion. A lot of times it is simply a call for help when nothing else seems possible to the person telling the falsity. When I find that someone has lied my first emotional response is more of “whats wrong, are YOU ok?” rather than “I dislike you for lying to ME.” But I am a bit strange in that regard. I feel humans are not perfect and do sometimes need to take the easy way out to survive. It’s up to those that love them to forgive them and offer them the chance to express the truth openly and then praise them for their bravery and strength. Often things need to be dealt with immediately and we are not prepared to handle them. As a result a lie is the only logical emotion response to the attack, in my opinion. I am glad you are back and if it makes you feel better I have no clue why anyone would be upset at you. Since I have no clue then its likely most people have no clue (I am a nosey demon, I can tell you what -all- the buttons are saying about the zippers.) so you have nothing to fear. The pen isn’t a place for attacks and rumors. It’s a place free from those bonds where you can create and express yourself freely. I am glad you found your way back. Welcome Home.
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