Tattered Posted August 16, 2003 Report Posted August 16, 2003 I see the bride and groom hand in hand and side by side The stars are out and it's a warm summer night the lights sparkle and the admiration shines People around all glow speaking of the two they love and know I started to look in your eyes but I am surely not your type Someone so pure so clean inside, someone I could really like I have grown up with you but it feels like I watched you grow I feel so unsightly by your side I feel so bad about my life I would have liked to let you know just how beautifully you glow But unspoken self imposed boudaries is all I know All I can do is dream a wish deep within my heart How blessed I would be to have someone like you, like me What a wonderful gift from God that would be I see your eyes they like what they see But sadness behind them shows what everybody knows They all ask when and where I'll be, who will I marry? They say they'd like to see me be the next to say "I do" But who would they picture me with, NOT THEIR son, that's who I feel like I am judged and off limits a bad seed I wish I could leave that all behind and start a new life indeed The night is darkening and the guests disperse I head for the car and I reach for my purse Someday I will find him, someday I will succeed In choosing the path that true happiness leeds
Peredhil Posted August 16, 2003 Report Posted August 16, 2003 Very well written on a theme so very very many share - "I know my faults inside, surely they are obvious to the world, but when I look at others, I see how wonderful they are on the outside, with no obvious flaws." You'd be surprised... Peredhil starts muttering "Peredhil's Rules of Real People" as he wanders off... Real People look at insides, not outsides. Real People know everyone has flaws, and so accepts as given - freeing the Real Person to look for (and cherish) the strengths inside. Real People know they'll be hurt by misunderstandings if they have a relationship - and relate anyway. Real People communicate honestly what they think and feel, not using the communication as a weapon to place blame, but as a tool to help the other to know the Real Person better. Real People don't take criticism or judgement of an action as criticism or judgement of themself. They can be wrong or mistaken without being a Bad Person. Corillary: Real People don't assume they know what others are thinking - they ask. They don't assume that others will judge or think as they do - they give the others the freedom to make their own opinions and judgements. Corillary - Real People give themselves permission to think or judge differently than others - they aren't doormats. The voice fades still muttering...
Tattered Posted August 23, 2003 Author Report Posted August 23, 2003 Thank you Peredhil, your words are always the warmest and comforting.
Vlad Posted August 23, 2003 Report Posted August 23, 2003 Everyone has felt like this at least once. Thanks for putting into words what so many of us feel.
Rhapsody Posted August 23, 2003 Report Posted August 23, 2003 I really liked the structure of the poem. It had this stream-of-consciousness feeling with some erratic rhyming, rhyming between lines, skipping lines and the sort. It feels like I'm looking into your mind and f=plucking out the words. Gives a more intimate feeling to the poem. All I can do is dream a wish deep within my heart My fave line, its beautiful. Don't feel bad. Your own judgment is the only standard you have to live up to.
Tattered Posted August 27, 2003 Author Report Posted August 27, 2003 Rhapsody, Thanks for your encouragement. I like that line too. I like to think that all of my writings are "intimate". At least that's what I go for because everything I write, I feel and I want the reader to feel the same as they read it.
Recommended Posts