SoaringIcarus Posted August 1, 2003 Report Posted August 1, 2003 What drove you there, so deeply Within yourself, That you never wanted to resurface. Why here and now? How long has it been? How much of it is you And how much of it is chemical-- To consume your consciousness, prescribed by doctors. Taking smaller doses of waking reality Each day until cured Of existence. How couldn't I have known.
Rhapsody Posted August 1, 2003 Report Posted August 1, 2003 Icarus, It took my breath away. The thing that really got me is how simple it is. So simple that I can imagine someone speaking the words. I loved the last stanza. Very lyrical. Very sad. "...until cured/Of existence" That made me tear up. How much of it is you And how much of it is chemical-- My fave lines. Do I sense some depression here?
SoaringIcarus Posted August 1, 2003 Author Report Posted August 1, 2003 You could say that. My room mate tried overdosing, so I would assume he was depressed. What I still can't understand is if it was his personality or the dozens of medications he was on, finally conflicting like too much traffic through an intersection. At any rate, I'm glad you enjoyed it. -Icarus
Chanz Posted August 3, 2003 Report Posted August 3, 2003 Simple. Short. Sweet. A great combination. I really liked this. It was like the words cut through me and made me think. *NB. Nothing is ever bad enough that you feel your only option left is death* Nice Job
Ayshela Posted August 3, 2003 Report Posted August 3, 2003 i too very much like this, though everything i would have to say has already been said better than i could at this point in time. Though, Chanz, i heartily disagree with the perspective that there is nothing that bad. :-\ meh. with us or without us, life goes on.
Peredhil Posted August 3, 2003 Report Posted August 3, 2003 But a life without you in it, Ayshela, would leave the rest of us a bit poorer. I relate to this one on many levels, Soaring Icarus. Really well done. I prescribe lotsa hugs!
Ayshela Posted August 4, 2003 Report Posted August 4, 2003 *blush* looks at her prescription for hugs and wonders if she's feeling too antisocial to have it filled
Parmenion Posted August 13, 2003 Report Posted August 13, 2003 First and foremost I enjoyed this one a lot. I think the style perfectly suits the message or "fly on the wall" view of secret thoughts. Enchanting To Ayshela - How can one think that death may sometimes ever be an option? Especially when we have infinite opportunity and hope in life and nothing to gain in the alternative This is one for you today *HUG!!*
Alaeha Posted August 14, 2003 Report Posted August 14, 2003 I liked this... But to Parmenion (on Ayshela's behalf... I share her opinion here...): It's easy enough... depression, for one thing, is hardly rational. And even rational thought can recognize a trend over time. And there are situations from which any other form of escape is unlikely enough to make it pointless to even bother thinking about it. When the opportunity and hope have been destroyed, there's no reason or will to continue for one's own sake. Even oblivion is preferable over despair. That, after all, is the idea behind anesthesia... that it's better not to feel than to feel pain. And do you know anyone who would wish to go through a surgical procedure without anesthetics? And... perhaps it's merely that I have strange religious ideas... but I've never thought that there was nothing to be gained or done in the "afterlife". And as I said... if there is none, that's still preferable at times. Happiness and Joy are nice... but sometimes they aren't worth the price. *Hugs*
Parmenion Posted August 14, 2003 Report Posted August 14, 2003 /me apologises to Icarus for spamming in his thread, but anyway... I won't get into a religious debate - that just serves to challenge other people's ideals with one's own and serves no real purpose here other than to raise hairs on the back of necks. However, if we set aside notions of an afterlife (in my opinion) we remain with what we can do in life and reflect it through nature and what we see around us. Everyone has different perceptions on life and yes some cause an internal strife or us to be at odds with our environment. This is one of many causes of depression if you will. We can analyse why emotions, language etc.. developed in humans - to what purpose did we develop them? In anthropology we see that ancient cavemen cared for other members of their community even before language, to the best of our knowledge. Cavemen who had broken bones would be cared for in their community whereas in other aspects of nature such as a lions, deer etc they would have been left to our own devices and to fend for themselves. Humans developed emotions (in my humble opinion) to help them overcome other forces in nature and bring us where we are today. We still remain communal creatures even when we feel most isolated from the community. Even in a depression we know that there are friends, family, internet buddies and professionals who are there for us in a community that can help us either survive our environment or ourselves. We can feel pain as you said but we can also share it and have our community care for us and help us to survive when our strength is failing us. Pain (both mentally and physically) are not necessarily a bad thing. Pain is an early warning mechanism that screams at us that something is wrong that needs fixing etc.. It makes us aware of what may be a problem to our survival so that we can go about rectifying it. I would not say that it is better not to feel than to feel pain. If that was true then I could not empathize along those lines and therefore could not care about my brethren, but I do. I think this emotion or physical trait is a deliberate development and essential to the community of humans beings so that we can act together as a community through empathy. This is my limited view and I accept that not all would share it, but still I have found that bearing such thoughts in mind even when thinking irrationally helps me know that there is always hope when there are others around. I fail to see how happiness and joy have prices unless we think too much about the likes of "after-colds" when relationships go dry. If we fear too far ahead about certain outcomes and possibilities when they have not yet come to pass we are either extremely wise or extremely foolish but it remains that we have still put a knife through the heart of wonder as Tad Williams said. Our purpose is survivial (in my humble opinion) so that we might procreate under the basic laws of nature. Even in this day and age, when we do not face life threatening attacks etc.. (for most of the luckier countries) we still face ourselves. We are still presented with challenges to overcome. We have a finite time to exist on this planet (IMO) no point being dead before we have to. These are words I wrote for my little one which I think I'll use to some up what I'm not sure I got across properly ... "I cannot say I know what you are going through. But perhaps if we sit awhile and talk about it, the problem will go away. Or at the very least you may feel a little better and the hollow of your heart may no longer be completely empty."
Beautiful Nightmare Posted August 14, 2003 Report Posted August 14, 2003 I really liked this..i had a friend over dose before he is ok now and feeling better but wow this was just so excellent a suject put so simply i really liked it! O and to Parmenion: God do you ever shut up?????
Loki Wyrd Posted August 19, 2003 Report Posted August 19, 2003 Wow, I really enjoyed this. Reminds me of some of the stupidity I put myself through this summer.
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