Ayshela Posted August 1, 2003 Report Posted August 1, 2003 Meh... i haven't posted anything here in quite a while. i think my brain has melted. However, i did complete one thing recently, so, here it is. In the Looking Glass Look in the mirror, what do you see? Two static images sit side by side. A picture of you, a reflection of me - a juxtaposition to make faint hearts hide. Your strength and endurance still leave me in awe - though battered by life you're still beautifully whole. Not beaten or shattered, you've not been left raw. The fates must intend you for some other role. Twisted and mangled, i'm not what you see if the surface reflection's as far as you look. So much lost potential, so much i can't be, wrapped up in the fragments of me that they took. The deeply held candle still burns so hot - life's far more flare than flicker as yet. For good or for ill there is much that i'm not, and so if this term of life has been set, if i cannot as yet sever the tie - the source of despair is a known quantity. Pick through the pieces, the sharpness won't lie. Set them in place, in the pattern you'll see - the face of my enemy's always been me.
Justin Silverblade Posted August 1, 2003 Report Posted August 1, 2003 Found me in serenity, left me in awe. Wonderful poem.
SoaringIcarus Posted August 1, 2003 Report Posted August 1, 2003 Nice, Ayshela. I really liked the flow of the first 1.9 stanzas, (only because I'm not the biggest fan of slant rhyme). And we're back again in the third stanza with the same flow and advancing action/imagery/etc. The last two stanzas seem to me like the message is a little bit cloudy for the sake of maintaining the rhythm and rhyme that was established earlier. The image/message of broken shards of the mirror, in the last three lines, are interesting. Did the mirror break before? Was it always broken? And if so, could the author, in retrospect, trust the image it portrayed? Lots to think about. -Icarus
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