Mira Posted July 27, 2003 Report Posted July 27, 2003 (edited) I was trying to comment on the lack of communication between people. I apologize for any spelling or grammer errors as computer was on the verge of crashing as I typed this, and I was unable to succesfuly open any word processing programs. People talking in the park No one hears what they say People strumming a guitar No one hears what they play I try to shout out But it seems everone's deaf today Shadows reaching for eachother But there hands can't seem to meet People running from another But they haven't any feet And I try to touch them all But everyone's mirages in the heat I stand atop a hill and I gather them around To tell them that this silence Is tearing us all down But their only reaction is A smile and a nod then a frown Edited July 27, 2003 by Mira
Chanz Posted July 27, 2003 Report Posted July 27, 2003 I really like this one. I find the flow to be interesting.... i think the message of us not communicating is reaelly strong, and i think it something everyone should try and work on in this world. Nice Job
Rhapsody Posted July 28, 2003 Report Posted July 28, 2003 I love the structure of this poem and how it maintains its rhythm and rhyme throughout. The message was conveyed very effectively.
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