Signe Posted July 22, 2003 Report Posted July 22, 2003 This isn't in any sort of order, but what it IS is nearly every piece of poetry I've ever written that I can still stand to have anyone see. *smiles* There's a siren's call in darkness There's a lover in the deep There's an appeal in raving madness It whispers me to sleep Strange pleasures in self destruction Sweet flatteries of pain Singing of seduction With it's inevitable shame :dragon4: Immerse myself in you and drink you up then cast you off and move onto the next each drink each drought each soul drank every drop it's mate in me consumed and me bereft that which should bring me light brings me but dark that which should fill me up burns me away a hollow vessel drained without a mark oblivion of night spun out of day the surface growing thin before it breaks light passing through throws truth into relief death of the blank facade that hid the ache and cognizance of causing others grief the shattered pieces fall and some are lost a vain attempt to pay the heavy cost :dragon4: There's a siren's call in madness and it's lulling me to sleep a sweet song of lustful sadness that begins a slimy creep across the web of my undoing and the fabric of my mind and the threads are slowly skewing tarnish taking their bright shine And I know my time is ending and there's nothing I can do but somehow I keep defending my memories of you :dragon4: Something unlooked for unnoticed unseen Something not planned for not called for forseen Something not asked for desired or dreamed Something that answered an unspoken need A voice in the dark continued til dawn And a wistful smile that's lingering on Constant distractions and tangents are gone Leaving just questions and 'what-ifs' undone. :dragon4: So I wake up and I was dreaming about you and I'm wishing you were here to make love to me like you did in my dream but you're not so I grab my towel, and I head for the shower and I step under the hot water and let it caress my body sensuously touching my face my neck my breasts planing down my stomach and over my hips drawing my nipples back up into the hardened state I awoke in and the water is hot so hot that when I lean back against the cool wall of the shower it feels good on my skin so I close my eyes and I cup my hands over my breasts imagining they were larger, rougher hands your hands and my hand slides easily over my slick skin down over my stomach and still I imagine it's yours and I find that I'm wet in the aftermath of dream I had and so my fingers slide into myself only they're really yours and not mine at all in my head at least and my knees start to feel weak but it's okay because I lean back against the wall and my toes curl squeaking on the bottom of the tub and I arch up into the water reaching for an absent lover and any sound I make is drowned by the rushing water and then I turn and press my forehead against the cool tile wall and the dream begins to fall away and I feel you leaving with it even though you were never really here and then I'm alone well I always was but now I feel it and there's nothing to do but wash my hair and scrub my reddened skin and turn off the water reaching through the steam for my towel to dry off the last evidence the last lingering reminder :dragon4: if I were made of wax or sugar I could dissolve molecule by molecule pulled away by the hot water streaming out of the shower head counterclockwise down the drain wind up in the ocean formless, thoughtless painless the hotter the water the faster I would melt but I'm not instead the water sheets off breasts, arms, hips, thighs pooling around my feet and the hotter the water the redder my skin and the steam makes it hard to breathe and my head floats higher and higher but not far enough never away and the water makes my hair heavy and it pulls me back down until I reach over eyes closed and turn the water off still here not wax not sugar flesh. :dragon4: Tick tock tick tock another second gone hours and minutes rushing by until the day is done On Monday you left you flew away from me I started writing this silly poem now the rhymes won't let me be Tuesday it really hit me that you're actually gone not here to keep me company that really just seems wrong Wednesday I thanked the heavens that your trip was nearly half done and I counted on my fingers the days that were still to come Thursday I really missed you like the deserts miss the rain I think that's the line, from that poignant refrain Friday I truly wondered if I'd survive til you got back I moped and whined and whimpered and really felt the lack Saturday you were nearly here! Just one more day to go. I fretted and waited and wanted you back spent my day pacing to and fro. On Sunday I waited for your joyful return I waited with breath bated what the heck rhymes with return? the days follow each other like a child's chugging train running into one another in the confines of my brain. :dragon4: If I hold my tears today I will not cry tomorrow The sobs that do not have their way Cannot betray my sorrow. Though my eyes are bright with tears And my throat is choked with hate I will not show your eyes my fears I’ll hold on and I will wait. And so I smile and blink away The tears that blur my eyes Although I wonder if this price Is worth the final prize. :dragon4: Yesterday I woke up from a beautiful dream Only to find out things aren’t what they seem Swirling and changing, never the same I don’t even know where to put the blame… :dragon4: A headlong fall from a perilous height With a stormy sea there to cradle me. My heart burns white through your endless night *missing line Your touch is cold and burning hot You drown me and raise me high The chill touch of your waters fraught With burning whispers dry. The hateful whispers burn my skin And char my soul to black The light is fading fast to sin My saviour won’t come back. Sooth me with your anodyne admit me to your peace take me away from what is mine and make the burning cease. The black cold of your icy deep Is warmed by beams of light Penetrating your stormy keep And reminding me to fight. I’m fading away and losing myself I’m lost and I’ll never be found I’m slipping away with casual stealth I’m lost and I’ll never be found. :dragon4: A whirling vortex spinning me around Faster and faster, I scream; there’s no sound My eyes shut tight against the blinding light I’m taken by a force that I cannot fight I’m bound with chains of nervous energy Vibrating in world of slothful lethargy A tumultuous eye in a peaceful storm Left all alone, knowing not what I mourn, Spinning and list’ning to the vortex’ roar, Splitting my soul but I’m aching for more Pushing, fighting, I want to escape Save myself from the spiritual rape Whirling hell, spinning agony, The quiet of this silent cacophony. :dragon4: A pale darkness a deep light A black hole coloured white A full void shining bright Continuing far, out of sight Lighting up the midnight sky :dragon4: How can this happen How can it be real How can my nightmares Come here to steal? :dragon4: A sweet rushing ache through the corners of my mind Sweeping up the cobwebs allowing me to hide :dragon4:
Signe Posted July 22, 2003 Author Report Posted July 22, 2003 Satellite Song Coming home at night to a lonely cold apartment and the cold remains of breakfast on a plate the neon glare fron the store across the street casting wierd and shallow shadows on rumpled quilts and sheets Her clothes like in a puddle on the cheaply rented floor Discarded til tomorrow when they're needed once more Her shoes left in the hallway in a parody of steps by the locked and bolted door that keeps the world out when it shuts the quiet pad of barefoot feet from door to silent phone pause in hope of a blinking light and reluctantly move on She curls up tight on her bed late that night and she's wishing on a satellite star. Take one step forward try not to fall back the terrain behind is covered with cracks Don't look behind you don't ever regret darkness might find you it's hovering yet The past is a millstone a dead albatross a sinking abstraction give it up for lost Just keep on going abandon what fell a fallen companion leave them as well All that's important all you hold dear let go piece by piece but don't shed a tear Just harden your heart and armour your soul ignore the voices that scream and cajole Dream of forgiveness dream of the light dream of an end but don't give up the fight
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