Thinking of topics is hard

[Mira]

I ment Titles, not Topics. ( although that can be hard too )

 

 

I've gotten a little romantic in my thoughts and writing as of late, and I can’t put my foot on why. It bugs me though, because there are so many more important issues than the chemical imbalance commonly know as love.

 

I have traveled the ends of the Earth,

And thru many distant lands.

Across vast and deep oceans,

to touch their golden sands.

 

Descended damp, dark caverns,

And trekked thru ancient woods.

Browsed bazaars in wondrous cities,

Inspecting merchant’s magnificent goods.

 

A wanderlust has held me,

All these long, and lengthy years.

For it was easier to keep moving,

Than to face my many fears.

 

But now I have returned,

To the place where I did start.

Drawn here by the strings,

That you tied upon my heart.

 

I have traveled the ends of the Earth,

and seen many beautiful things, it’s true.

but nothing in my many travels,

was as beautiful as you.

 

 

 

(Awww....)

Edited July 19, 2003 by Mira

[Alaeha]

I like this... The mildly irregular meter still flows, so it works... though I have to "pace" it a little quickly. The romantic side of me really appreciates this... and the rest thinks it's impressive that you managed to say what you wanted to while writing in couplets.

 

Take either response, or both. It's up to you.

 

*Hugs*

[T)emon13laT)e]

 

Ahem... Tell anyone of this an I shall surely sever your head from the rest of your body.

 

On a side note: THE RHYMES ARE GOOD! O_o They dont sound forced-like.

[Orlan]

Nice and straight forward, though the first stanza:

 

I have traveled the ends of the Earth,

And thru many distant lands.

Across vast and deep oceans,

to touch their golden sands.

Sounds a little akward. I've always been a fan of the ends of he Earth as a destination one goes "to" rather then someplace one strolls. Sands sounds like it modifies oceans instead of distant lands or the ends of the earth. You could add a few things here and there to tweak it a bit but not lose your rhyme.

 

Something like

 

I have traveled to the ends of the Earth,

And thru many a distant land.

I've crossed vast and deep oceans,

And walked on golden sand.

But that's just me. Good Job overall.

[Mira]

Orlan,

 

In my original draft I had;

"I have traveled to the ends of the Earth"

But I changed it because I liked it better without the "to".

 

And yes, that is just you.

 

Alaeha,

 

You probably ment quatrains not couplets because quatrains are four lines and couplets are two.

 

Also, they're not quatrains because the rhyme scheme is off

 

Quatrains are:

 

A

B

A

B

 

While I just rhymed the 2nd and 4th lines

 

(Sorry a thousand times for being so picky on your compliment I'm just educating the people.)

 

I do, however, thank all of you for your compliments and critiques.

Edited July 21, 2003 by Mira

[Alaeha]

Actually... Not to be offensive, but rather to be picky right back...

 

I stumbled across a web page once, though I can't recall the name of it, that made an interesting point. A stanza of four lines, however the rhyme scheme is laid out, is still a quatrain. Be it an AAAA, ABBA, ABAB, ABCD, etc, it is still a quatrain. There were different names for each type, with Alternating, Enclosed, Straight, etc... though I can't think of the names offhand.

 

So it's all in where the line breaks fall.

 

[/snob]

 

I did mean couplets, though I was probably incorrect in doing so, because I have a strange way of looking at it... I looked at it as being both an ABCB arrangement and just being a (null)a(null)a arrangement wherein the second and fourth lines were simply the first and third spilling over soas not to look crowded.

 

Just a bit of clarification and return education.

 

*Hugs*

Edited July 24, 2003 by Alaeha