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The Pen is Mightier than the Sword

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Posted

Take the knife to the flesh

Near the neck, the base of the skull

Slide it in,

Oh so thin,

Underneath the rot.

I slice away the horror

And the anger

And the past.

 

Patches of hate

Mingle with friends and family.

All the memories of my life

Flushed away down the drain

I bleed softly in the night

In front of the mirror of justice

An even-handed god, that.

Exacting

Perfect

Pure.

 

I cut away the love, the hate, the greed

The feelings that I had for you.

All the life that is behind me.

 

I emerge anew - revived, refreshed.

I'll shed my skin

To remedy my past

 

Underneath that itchy layer

Lies a pair of glossy wings

Spread them wide and catch the wind

Drying off the memories.

 

I soar above, leaving myself behind

The reset button has been pressed

I am nothing but the new

The past is left behind.

 

Alone and unarmored, I fight my way

Back to the top.

Clawing with softened hands

Breathing with weakened lungs

Pumping with a broken heart

To reach my goal.

 

Everything for nothing, the blind woman says.

The scales of justice must be sated

As I fly away.

Posted

Justice is, indeed, a fair god.

i would hope for what i cannot ask for... mercy...

but having not found it yet, i'm not sure i can hope any more.

 

 

this probably didn't mean to me what it did to you when you wrote it, but the two lines which most struck me with a resonating "oh yes!" were

 

Patches of hate

Mingle with friends and family.

everything for nothing...

isn't that so often the way of it?

 

Meh.. i haven't anything to say that probably makes a nickel's worth of sense, but... *nod* yeah. i hear you.

Posted (edited)

Well, I'm not as sure about the first two stanzas. It's not that I don't like them, it just seems that all the stanzas below the first two are all about Metamorphosis and the top two aren't.

 

Granted, I see that you're trying to explain in the top two stanzas why you want/need to make the change. However, it almost seems like you could take the top half and bottom half and turn them into two seperate yet awesome poems. :0)

 

I can feel the pain of your words, and particularly liked this:

 

Underneath that itchy layer

Lies a pair of glossy wings

Spread them wide and catch the wind

Drying off the memories.

I really liked the idea of comparing yourself to a creature that changes from one animal to a completely other. However, I suppose the only caution I would give would be to be careful about wanting to cut ties with all the past. Once you're healed, you'll often regret it if you shed EVERYTHING, even though once painful.

 

Upward and onward with strength. :0)

 

~Salinye :butterfly:

Edited by Salinye
Posted

as usual, i am in complete awe of your work. that's never going to change. sorry about the bad capitalizing job on this post but my shift key broke, funny huh? anyways, you never cease to amaze me will. as a poet, but also as one of my best friends. keep up the good work.

Posted

It seems to me that the theme of rebrith overshadows the theme of justice here.

 

The use of a blade to sever ties to the past was ingenious. Not only does imply pain, but from the way you write it seems you are immune to this pain.

 

I'm enamored with the idea of hidden human wings. And the last two stanzs touched me in particular.

 

My fave line:

 

Drying off the memories

Posted

Falcon2001--

 

Nice images of rebirth. It reminds me of an orange that is rotten on the outside, yet still juicy inside, and of a phoenix, all at once. I can tell you're a video game fan, with the reset-button reference, and that's awesome. It's definitely something this audience in particular can appreciate.

 

Nice theme. It's something I can relate to. ;)

 

-Icarus

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