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The Pen is Mightier than the Sword

My dreams


Solivagus

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This is dedicated to Nobody from mIRC. He told me to dream of Sas, so I thought I better write down just what he's asking me to dream...

 

I see a small, thin body, lying peacfully on the bed. So quiet. So peaceful. I draw closer, and see the figures face. It has the face of Sas, and I feel tears start to course down my cheeks at the knowledge of what will appear next. I have had this same dream too many times not to know.

 

Figures surround me, pointing and laughing in contempt at my weakness. Fool, crying your eyes out over one life. You thought you had won. See what pride has cost you?

 

The voices repeat the words, chanting them. I recognise the faces of my brother, my sister, of others I have known and fought.

 

I stare down at Sas' face, knowing what I'll see but unable to stop myself from looking.

 

I see blood. It runs dark and glistening across her face, it forms deep pools of red in the depths of her face. I see lines of blood run into her hair, I try to scream but all that comes out of my mouth are sobs. No more! Please!

 

The people around me laugh louder. You did this Richard! You did this and more! You killed Dawn and you killed Sas and you have lost!

 

Miserably I curl up into a ball, rocking backwards and forwards on my heels while the people around me point and laugh, backwards and forwards as my gaze turns red.

 

That, Nobby, is more or less how my dreams go. I don't have theability to describe them any better than that. Still want me to dream of Sas?

 

By the Seven, someone give me a reason to live...

Edited by Solivagus
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What a talented piece on a difficult subject!

 

I'm amazed at the responsibility you claim for Dawn and Sas though.

 

Unless you were driving the car that killed Sas, you aren't responsible for her death. The fact that you dare to love someone doesn't cosmically kill them. There is a karmic fallacy there - that your love kills.

 

While there is no current bottom to the pain that grips you, you still aren't God, to determine life or death by the mere fact of your striving to have a meaningful life.

 

Sorry to be harsh, but that sort of thinking is hopeless and defeating. Having followed your posts, and listened to you in IRC, I think you have a great deal of potential to give to the world. Not that the world will appreciate you, but there it is.

 

-Peredhil's two cents.

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