Wyvern Posted June 28, 2003 Report Posted June 28, 2003 Dear Journal, It is I once again, your fervent narrator and caring companion Silly the Elder Dwarf. To commence this entry, I would simply like to state how amusing I find it that "Silly" was chosen as my name and title, as the adjective seems to relate far more to the character traits of Greedy or Crazy than those of myself. But then, I suppose that I should have expected nothing more from humans (or large descendents of lazy lizards, for that matter). I guess they'll always be one rung below us orangutans on the evolutionary ladder... Never the less, the thought of my name evoked a most exuberant and fascinating contemplation on my own nature, which led to my seeking the roots of my very character. After planting a few loose banana peels by Wyvern's doorstep as my own form of subtle revenge, I decided to think over the subject while snacking on a quaint breakfast of coffee and a croissant, which I ate hanging upside down from an office air-duct by means of my tail. The bland and unexciting manners that humans use while eating have never ceased to amaze me... for some reason, they insist upon eating right side up, and also seem determined that spitting is a sign of rudeness! But back to the topic at hand... Within the depths of my intricate thought patterns, it suddenly occurred to me that each of the Elder Dwarves had been spawned from an eccentric celebrity. Greedy was the obvious offspring of Bill Gates, Crazy seemed to take after the Three Stooges, Idly spent most of his time idly deciding on which celebrity he should be associated with... and somehow, I fitted into the picture. I actually reached the initial conclusion that I was the crossbreed of Magilla Gorilla and the philosopher John Locke before the truth of the matter dawned upon me... The celebrities the Elder Dwarves were based upon were none other than the Pen's own Eldership, and Gwaihir was the one with whom I shared the most traits! Intrigued by this discovery and eager to learn more about the Elder of Wiggly Cabbages, I decided to do some research on his character by spying on him using the Pen's ventilation ducts along with a slew of handy "Detour" signs. I learned a good deal of information through this expedition, dear Journal, and would now like to share some of it on these pages: Gwaihir is elven, yet stands quite tall in his Elder glory. He has brown hair, which reminds me somewhat of the colour of pinecones in full bloom. I was shocked to notice that his garments are more similar to those of Wyvern the Slob then those of the typical Pen representative, as they seem particularly messy and disordered... This leads me to believe that Gwaihir is rather spacey and eccentric in nature, a notion that's confirmed by the number of times I noticed him trip over his own feet. "Clumsy" may have been a more accurate name and character for me should Wyvern have truly wanted me to imitate Gwaihir's characteristics! Another striking trait I noticed in Gwaihir is his obsession for everything growing. He seems to be constantly tending to living plants, particularly towards a mass of eccentric cabbages that seem to converse with him through telepathy. While I greatly admire the Elder's affinity to these wiggling, multi-colored beings, you can only imagine my disappointment when I realized that he has no special relations towards orangutans... What could I be, then?! In what ways do I relate to the admirable Elder of Wiggly Cabbages...? I'm not tall, or clumsy, or spacey, or dressed in tattered garments (or dressed in anything, for that matter...) Well... I suppose that while I don't share the Elder's eccentricities or physical traits, I share his direct method of commenting and his ability to get things accomplished... In addition, I feel that I have a particular affinity to all growing bananas, and Gwaihir often seems silly in his own way... ----- Wyvern decides to stop reading Silly's private Journal at this point and shakes his head while rolling his eyes, finding many of the things stated within ridiculous... Why did those darn Elder Dwarves always need explanations for their characters, it was absurd! He remembered when Grouchy had come to him looking for answers... every explanation Wyv had tried to give had made the dwarf grumpier! Sighing to himself and turning off the loud speaker that he had used to announce the contents of Silly's private Journal to everyone in the Pen, the overgrown lizard notes to himself what a waste of time it had been considering that none of the details of the orangutan's love life had been brought up. Besides, the information the Elder Dwarf had written on Gwaihir seemed all wrong! After all, Wyvern knew that he didn't like vegetables... though then again, Gwai was always hanging out with those cabbages, wasn't he? Hmmmm... Scratching his chin and muttering something under his breath, Wyvern jots down "spend more time with Gwaihir" in his agenda before casually stepping out of his Office and slipping on a pair of banana peels in the process...
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