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The Pen is Mightier than the Sword

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Posted

Melba sits at her desk, busily doing all the work Wyvern takes credit for, when a rip in reality itself opens before her. She calmly reaches out and presses the button on her speaker phone, "Uh, Mr. Wyvern, sir? I think you need to come in here."

 

A dark figure steps through the rip, followed by three smaller figures. The rip closes behind them. Vast and ancient energies pulse from the figure, warping time and space around him.

 

Melba once again presses the button and speaks a little louder, "Wyvern, I think you should come out here." The sound of Wyvern's door locking and furniture being moved against the door can be heard. A muffled, "I'm busy, be out as soon as I can!" makes its way through the door. Melba realizes she's on her own. Being the professional that she is, she composses herself and says, "May I help you?"

 

The dark figure moves foreward and seems to transform - no longer does raw power pulse from him. There, before Melba, stands a man about 6 feet tall, with an eye patch and dressed in black leather. A wide brim hat sits atop his head and a cloak (blacker then the darkest pits of the Nether world) flows from his shoulders. Two things remain disturbing about him, he seems to look at Melba with his left eye - which is covered with a patch, and the cloak seems to move on its own, as if it were alive. Behind him were 3 squirrells, fully 3 feet tall and dressed in leather armor.

 

As the stranger starts to walk around the office, looking at every thing, Melba tells him, "Excuse me sir, may I help you? Also, pets are NOT allowed in the office." She is startled at how quickly the 3 are atop her desk and glaring at her. The stranger continues to explore the office, as he quietly speaks, "They are not pets. They are my companions: Mr. Moog, Silvia, and Pith." As they are named, Mr.Moog takes his hat off and hides behind it, shyly, and waves - he is about 6 inches shorter then the other 2, but twice as wide. Silvia - a female squirrel, missing half her tail and with a scar that took the top of her right ear, down across her right eye and through the right side of her mouth (giving her a perminent snarl and an eye patch), just glares. While Pith - the only one that seems to care about his looks, removes his hat and, with a sweeping motion, bows deeply while taking Melba's hand and kissing it. All while keeping his eyes upon her.

 

The stranger continues, " Together, they have killed 9 Dominion and 26 Red Dragons. In fact, the little fat one - Mr. Moog - killed a dragon by himself." Mr. Moog puffs out his chest proudly. Silvia and Pith look at each other - and fall off the desk laughing. Mr. Moog gives them a hurt look. The stranger stops, turns half way towards Melba and with a slight grin says, "The dragon tried to swallow Mr.Moog. . . . and chocked to death."

 

Silvia and Pith finally make their way back on the desk (falling several times from their fits of laughter) while Mr. Moog puts his hat back on, refuses to look at Silvia and Pith and "Humpphh's" a lot.

 

The stranger walks to Melba's desk, "They are powerful mages in their own right. My closest companions and I would personally appreciate if you would treat them as such." A chill ran down Melba's spine, as she realized who the stranger was. A mage of vast power. Power gained from his attempt to take the place of the long dead Blood God. Power from the very source that killed the Blood God. A power that some claim has driven him insane beyond all measures.

 

Melba calmly pressed the intercom button and said, "Mr. Wyvern. Snypiuer is here to see you." A muffled cry and the sound of a window opening is heard from behind the locked door.

 

With a grin, Snypiuer once again began walking around the office. That's when Melba noticed he was pocketing things. She got up, walked over to him and was about to say something when Snypiuer spoke, "Don't really need to see Wyvern." A muffled "Woohoo!" is heard through the door. In a conspiratorial tone, he whispers to Melba, "I believe he thinks I'm after him from the last time we played Nimball™."

 

"Anyways, just felt like stopping by and seeing some old friends." Snypiuer said. "Maybe I'll stick around a bit." Melba stepped back as Snypiuer turned to her with a grin that then froze her in place and said to her, "Maybe cause a little trouble."

 

Power once again began to pulse from him, as he reached out and tore a rip in reality. He stepped through and was followed by his 3 companions. The rip closed and the office was silent.

 

The sound of furniture being moved, was followed by the door to Wyvern's office being unlocked and opened. Wyvern stepped out and said,"Um, I see our guest has left already?" Melba gave Wyvern a look that made him start to molt.

 

"Look," Wyvern said, "We weren't sure if he'd ever show up!"

 

Melba said, "Well, he's here now."

 

"Yup. He's here now." Was all Wyvern could say, as he hung his head and sighed.

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Hi guys,

 

Don't know how often I'll post. Will try to behave.

 

HEY! Why isn't there a little blue smiley with 3 eyes and wrapped with duct tape!?!

Posted

LOL!

 

As a Bard of Terra, you have automatic membership of course, but it's always Polite when someone grandfathered in our Rules comes by and shows WHY they have automatic membership. :)

Posted

LOL

i doubt whether anyone would be *dense* enough to question it!

though examples such as this only make assurance double sure.

Posted

"I suppose we'll have to ask Orlan to put up those 'Danger- Suicide Squirrel Crossing' signs that we kept just in case..." sighs Wyvern while shaking his scaly head. "Ah well... I'm certain that there's some sort of rule concerning space-time reality portals which allows me to continue to slack off and forget about responding. After all, if the Snypieur of the space-time reality portal came from the future, he would have already been accepted... Besides, this is a no-rifting zone..."

 

Having said this, Wyvern grins and points a scaly figure to a spot in his office where a sign that read "No Cutting the Fabric of Reality - Million Geld Fine" used to be, but is now gone... The overgrown lizard suddenly notices the absence of the sign and frowns, only to realize that several eccentric objects in his Office are missing. Frantically searching through numerous Office corners and desk drawers, the reptilian Elder finds to his dismay that his Ouiji board used for making guild decisions is missing, along with a leftover drumstick, one of his pictures of Cheyenne, and his sanity. Recalling with relief that he lost his sanity a while back when cruising with a certain band of Apocalyptic Angels, Wyvern crosses the meaningless item off of his list of "objects missing" before turning to Melba and angrily exclaiming:

 

"Dang it Melba, how many times have I told you to keep things disorganized when you're cleaning!? I can't find a number of my possessions..."

 

"Don't look at me, you dolt!" responds Melba furiously "I told you that you should come out of your quarters to see Snypieur... It just so happens that he pocketed some of your office supplies before he left!"

 

"You should have told me that material goods were concerned!" whines Wyvern while stomping his feet. "On the subject... did they do anything else?"

 

"Well..." mutters Melba "... they laughed at the concept of a dragon choking. Other than that, nothing much... One of Snypieur's squirrel companions, Pith, was actually a true gentleman... He even bowed to me and kissed my hand!"

 

"Dear Lord..." mumbles Wyvern while going pale at the thought. "... so the squirrels really ARE suicidal..."

 

Melba growls and goes for her Anti-Wyvern Mallet just as Wyvern turns towards a piece of reality still shimmering in the wake of Snypieur's exit. Stamping the piece of reality ACCEPTED, Wyvern also writes "(can I have my goods back now...?)" with a quill before getting clobbered by Melba's hammer...

 

;-)

 

OOC: Welcome to the Pen, Snypieur, it's great to see you here! :) As Peredhil stated, being one of the old bards of Terra, you automatically regain your bard status here at the Pen. Still, that was an excellent application, and it's certainly ACCEPTED. :)

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