Tattered Posted May 31, 2003 Report Posted May 31, 2003 You said I could trust you You led me to love you And first time I let you Then everything fell through My heart would not trust you Somehow you broke through Wanted to believe you But true colors came through Not my heart that lies too Blinded I ignored truth You're shallow and fake too desire is not fool proof Real love is missing a screw Same with all who fall into Admit you loose part of you! But you say that you chose to Then when you play the fool They were not meant for you Wait, who proposed to who? Just pretend that we knew The crazy things life brings you If loves guaranteed I'll sue heart's covered with scar tissue No one left to relate to
Peredhil Posted May 31, 2003 Report Posted May 31, 2003 A poignant poem. It feels to me like a cry of betrayal, outrage at lies. Anger at duplicity, or maybe the frustration at finding you've deluded yourself. I did find the repetition of ending words, like "through" and "too" to be distracting for me, rather than adding to it, but it's strong enough material to shine anyway. If this is autobiographical, may I suggest not learning the lesson of Mark Twain's cat? (in short, don't judge all future events off one, for you deny yourself life.) Hugs.
Alaeha Posted May 31, 2003 Report Posted May 31, 2003 Unless I'm misremembering (Which is entirely possible) Mark Twain had at least two cat quotes. One stated that a cat who sits on a hot burner will never sit on a hot burner again; but neither will he sit on a cold one. The other stated that a man who carries a cat by the tail will learn something which he can learn in no other manner. But unfortunately, you've stolen all of my feedback, Master Peredhil... So for my commentary, I'll make it brief: Dittos to previous post, on all counts. *Hugs*
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