smallscale_mind_games Posted May 29, 2003 Report Posted May 29, 2003 ...Riven... Death has robbed you of your beauty, but you still love me. I can see it in the fly-ridden stagnant pools behind your eyes, taste it on the dust that fills your mouth. I remember...when I sang as you doused me in oil, and walked away, tossing a match salt-like over your left shoulder, and the flames that engulfed me were more lyrical than the song I sang. In my torment, the thicket of flames that you created for me, I became light, I became warmth...but the fire burned low, and I crumbled to ashes and froze beneath the winter rains. So chilled, you found me. You drank deep, and I drank deep, and each was inebriated within a deluge of the other's blood. Laughing, we ran down to the river, our feet sliding eagerly through pebbles of black glass. We sank deep, drowning in the stain of the cold water, going quiet as our souls faded to grey. When we surfaced again, your face was different, timeless, carved in green-streaked black marble, and I kissed you until a blurred sandstorm wore your visage away. In an azure cave I took refuge, listening to the cold sound of the wind, howling through the cracks and holes in your heart; the sound of a flute. I left in the spring, but the flowers were all silver, and without fragrance. I plucked a petal, and felt myself go numb...as long as I held it, three eternities, I saw in shades of cold. All I wanted was to protect you, but you said "I can swim. I am struggling to drown", and so I killed you by the reeds, and watched as your last breath spilled out, and the waterlillies asked sweetly to be imbrued. And you still love me.
Elwen Posted May 29, 2003 Report Posted May 29, 2003 Wow...and this /could/ be considered a story/vignette of sorts. I /like/ darker POV stories...*smiles happily* And this is a good one.
Peredhil Posted May 29, 2003 Report Posted May 29, 2003 If it were me, I'd judge it Assembly Room material. Which is a shame, 'cause this is really good, and that's our least read room.
Quincunx Posted May 29, 2003 Report Posted May 29, 2003 I think it's only least read because it updates as slowly as it does (more text equals more typing, even if a story and poem undergo equal editing). . .although why it gets fewer passes than Library would then be a curiosity.
Yui-chan Posted May 29, 2003 Report Posted May 29, 2003 Hello, I agree with Peredhil-san, and thus... it's moved! A painting does not have to be realistic or precisely detailed to be artistic, nor does a written piece need to be long to be complete. This is beautiful, and every bit worthy to be considered a work of art. Thank you for sharing, creature of the Mind Games. Yours, ~Yui
autumn_sun Posted May 29, 2003 Report Posted May 29, 2003 I think that WHATEVER it is, it should be read in that creepy Death voice you did during that ONE freelance rp...with tinkly piano/and or faded cymbols in the backround...Like the poemy thinger at the end of ...But Home is Nowhere by AFI. You know what I'm talking about, right, Merry? I <3 this...reminds me of Traise's past meets Yasi's past meets said AFI song =runs off muttering about original works & forensics=
Ayshela Posted May 30, 2003 Report Posted May 30, 2003 *this* is beautifully horrible, and horribly beautiful. wherever it belongs, i'm glad to be able to read it.
smallscale_mind_games Posted May 30, 2003 Author Report Posted May 30, 2003 I must admit, I greatly enjoyed writing it, despite having no idea what it means or where it came from. *pokes pip* Well I had been listening to AFI, but I copied nothing! See! 'tis all my own^^ Thank you all for your wonderful comments!
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