Aardvark Posted May 24, 2003 Report Posted May 24, 2003 (edited) Well, we haven't done every single thing possible, have we? Well, no, but I'm not having sex with you, if that's what you're hinting at. You're like my brother, for Christ's sake. Arrgh!! Stop it! you're making my ears bleed. You are one disturbed, deranged little girl, you know? Yeah, I know. I've got the shrink's report and the prescription to prove it. Anyway, back to my original query, what are we gonna do now? We're out of booze and we've got several hours 'til the sun returns to the sky I dunno. Anything you wanna do? No, not really What say we go to a movie? And pay money to see either fake death or bad comedy? No, I've got better things to do with my money than waste it Like what? Spend it On? As if I'm telling you what I spend my money on. What are you, my mother or something? Ok, ok, calm down! It was just a suggestion. 'Sides, I don't hear anything better coming from you. That's because I can't think of anything. I'm bored, so the creativity centre of my brain isn't working. That's why I need you. To think for me when I've outthought myself So all I'm worth is the power of my thoughts? Yeah, pretty much Wow, I feel so respected You should. Most guys I hang around with are only there because I know their perfect features will make every other female in school jealous Are you saying that I'm ugly? No, no, not at all. I'm saying the only reason I associate with you is because I need someone around me who is more intelligent than me. Do you really think I could stay sane and well adjusted in the company of the meatheads I hang around with? Well, no... See? So what's the problem. You get to be seen in public with me, I get your thoughts, insights and wisdoms anything and everything. Would you rather I just stop associating with you? Well, nooo, but... So what's your problem? I don't really have a chance with you, do I? What do you mean? Well... I first started talking to you just because I had a crush on you. I wanted you. I was hoping at some point, I'd work the courage up to ask you out. And that's the only reason you started talking to me? Yeah, pretty much Oh... well... Well...? Well... I have a similar confession to make. Not quite, though. What is it? I've always admired you. Not just because of your brain, but because of your independence. You were the only boy I knew who didn't seem to follow the same set of guidelines as other boys Other boys? Yeah, you know? Act like total idiots, demonstrate acute cases of testosterone poisoning. Ohh... Yeah. You were the only sensible one. The only one I could talk to. the only one who was really there when I needed you. So why didn't... Well.... you were my safety man. The man I knew I could depend on for support. I didn't want to hurt you in anyway. That's why I never... Oh. So I wasn't good enough? Nononononono, you were too good. I just didn't want to lose you. Especially.... Especially what? Especially over... me What are you saying? I... uhh... love you.... but... But not that much? Well... umm.... Edited May 28, 2003 by Aardvark
Peredhil Posted May 24, 2003 Report Posted May 24, 2003 Ohhhhh, that's GOOD! The only suggestion I hesitantly make, italicize one of the speakers for the ADD crowd here? If you didn't want to do it, I could do it for you. I don't think you realize just how happy I am you've finally made your way into Wyvern and Melba's area. Thank you!
Tasslehoff Posted May 26, 2003 Report Posted May 26, 2003 Thats very interesting Aardvark. I like it much though!
Justin Silverblade Posted May 27, 2003 Report Posted May 27, 2003 Excellent. Very, VERY good work. I enjoyed it very much. 'Bout time you found your way in here. Good luck on your app. - Justin
Wyvern Posted May 29, 2003 Report Posted May 29, 2003 Oss-bay... hy-way re-aay e-way peaking-say n-iay ig-pay atin-lay gain-aay? What the hell are you talking about?! Stop speaking gibberish... We aren't taking any highways, we're going by foot, remember?! Jesus! Get with the program! B-but boss, I thought you said we were supposed to communicate through pig latin...? We are!!! Now shut the hell up and put on this pig snout disguise. Two oinks means "yes", three oinks and a snort means "no." Remember, this is pig latin, so the oink translations are a bit more complicated than they normally would be... Gotcha... *snort* No, you fool! I said three oinks THEN a snort for "no!" Uuuhm... actually boss, I was just kinda clearing out my nose. I have allergies you know...? Oh... I see... that's a disgusting habit. Here, have a tissue and don't do that again or you're fired. Hmmm... uhhh... boss... this isn't a tissue, this is a map of the Pen headquarters. I believe we're supposed to use it to break into Wyvern's office without sounding any alarms... Ridiculous! Lemme see that... ... ... ... hmmmm... you're right, it is kind of a map isn't it? Yes sir! That's "oink oink" sir from now on! C'mon, let's get moving... that Wyvern's a sly lizard, we should go and catch him off guard before it's too late. Wait, shhhhh... I think I hear someone coming. Remember the code! Yes sir! ... ... ... ... Oink oink? Oink oink oink *snort* That does it!!! You snorted again! You're FIRED! B-b-b-but boss, you said...! I said that if you snorted again, you'd be fired! It's a filthy habit! Now get out of here and let me do my job! B-b-b-but... the code, and you said... ahhhh screw it! I would've quit anyway! I might be the one that snorts, but you're definitely the one that lives up to your name, Clueless! I'll have you know I'm not clueless in reality... I just happen to not have any clues at the moment. I left a clue in my other pants... Hey, where do you think you're going?! Oh... that's right, I fired you... Well, all the better, I can handle this mission by myself! Just as soon as a clean my nose out with this tissue... errrr... wait a minute, this is a map. Crap... Wyvern is oblivious to the failed mission of Inspector I. M. Clueless as he cheerfully sips some booze and stamps Aardvark's original application ACCEPTED. CC:-Oay Xcellent-eay pplication-aay, Ardvark-aay... efinitely-day CCEPTED-Aay! Elcome-way o-tay he-tay ighty-May en-Pay! 've-Iay reatly-gay njoyed-eay he-tay tories-say ou've-yay osted-pay t-aay he-tay en-Pay hus-tay ar-fay, nd-aay ook-lay orward-fay o-tay eading-ray ore-may. Pologies-aay or-fay akin-tay a eek-way o-tay espond-ray o-tay his-tay pp-aay... E-bay ure-say o-tay ither-eay ost-pay ou're-yay mail-e-ay ddress-aay n-iay his-tay hread-tay r-oay ail-may e-may t-aay litwack90@hotmail.com-eay o-say I an-cay end-say ou-yay ome-say dditional-aay en-Pay nfo-iay.
Aardvark Posted May 29, 2003 Author Report Posted May 29, 2003 At last, finally, access to the inner sanctum. Soon, I shall rise up the ranks until I have access to your government files and secret research laboratories, then I'LL RULE THE WORLD!!! AHAHAHAHAHA.. ahem I'd just like to say I accept your acceptance of my application in the spirit in which it was accepted... no wait, that wasn't it. What I mean to say is I wrote my application in the same state of inebriation as it was accepted. Half a bottle of bundy while watching the matrix was what it took to produce that work. To anyone who says there are no positive benefits of alcohol, I flip you the royal bird. That's right, my middle finger, extended, with a crown, that's right, a CROWN on the end. Wearing a regal robe. And holding a septre. Don't ask how, it just is, alright. Do I have to explain anything to you?
Recommended Posts