Tattered Posted May 23, 2003 Report Posted May 23, 2003 (edited) Dissclaimer: Not really but yeah. I appologize in advance. I just sometimes feel so completly hopeless and happiness is just so far from reach that I don't know what to do with myself. So conflicted, so remorseful for my bad decisions...Sigh. So don't read this. Unless you must. But this is just the self defeating side of me, not the whole me. Honestly, I have been through so much hardship, yet if you told me yours, well I think I would be humbled. Dark clouds accend creeping into my heart Brief spurts of life and light neutralize my blood Change is just out of reach slipping from my grasp Trodden down into the thick, deep mud of dispare The harder I try to stand the swifter I break down Calling to the outside world reaching for relief No one can hear my call, silent to the living Every night my discomfort multiplies as I lay there The only sleep I sustain is filled with nightmares Only to wake once more dissatisfied and unfufilled No one can save me, but Jesus himself No one can change me I am branded with my past When will this anguish subside? When will I crawl out of this pit and into the light? When will I leave my bad carma behind? When will I live out all the ill choices I have made? Is there hope for my future? I am living proof of the remorse and gnashing of teeth I need the savior's love I need the peace from on high Only God can answer my feeble, desparate cry. Edited May 23, 2003 by Tattered
Salinye Posted May 24, 2003 Report Posted May 24, 2003 These are very raw words you have displayed here, Tattered. I like that. It's more of a free form writ. I have a couple of those on here too. I think sitting down and letting the emotion of the moment spill onto paper is one of the BEST way to get the heart of a poem before it's put into a structured form. Often times, the raw words (as in this poem) don't need structure to dig its way into the hearts of the reader. Rest assured, many people have felt the way this poem reads at one time or another. I liked the religious emphasis as well. I personally could think back about oh...8 or 9 years and think perhaps the words tumbled from my quill instead of yours. Thanks for sharing. ~Salinye
Tasslehoff Posted May 26, 2003 Report Posted May 26, 2003 Tattered I am sorry to hear you are having such a hard time in life right now. I hope everything turns around and straightens out, and someday you will be able to stand tall with out breaking down.. About your poem... What strong words.. The raw emotions that flare thru them are amazing.. IT really pulls the reader in and makes you think.. makes you wonder.. Are our problems really that bad? Can they get worse.. This is by far, one of my favorites.. Very well done..
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