Psimon Posted May 23, 2003 Report Posted May 23, 2003 The man who had no face *********************** Night... 'Tis time I venture forth and know that none shall see ...lest they look upon me take measure o' my worth Pass unseen... unremarked to go about affairs Their ignorance brings tears their wit-wood surely charked Like unto ghosts I step Betwixt and 'tween the light This world and next doth bite release my soul once kept O' Fortune crease thy brow and see thy servant do not darkness wrought by you but good for kingdom's crown My life may fall beneath walk not this mortal coil Yet 'fore I lay in soil see evil in it's sheath This sacrifice I know compares not fair to thine O' architect divine accept it 'ere I go I've naught else for to give my life for sins I've done What joy, my soul is won I now begin to live My life is mark'd with grace my name of no import Let history not distort the man who had no face.
Tattered Posted May 23, 2003 Report Posted May 23, 2003 "I've naught else for to give my life for sins I've done What joy, my soul is won I now begin to live" I know that you and I are different people, and your poem's true meaning would not be what it means to me, however, I was touched. I feel like I caught a glimps of your emotions here. Yet I feel a little lost. I like the paragraph just above this one that's how I feel too. Like what I have gone through as hard as it seems, just doesn't compare to the hardship of some. Thank you. That was a unique style.
Salinye Posted May 24, 2003 Report Posted May 24, 2003 Psimon~ I really liked the meaning behind this one! I have to say, it didn't flow off my lips as effortlessly as most of your poems do. However, I'm not educated enough in form or rhyme yet to say why that is. Perhaps if this were a cut and dry piece it would be more obvious to me. Anyway, perhaps some of the more seasoned poets here will be able to identify why that is. OR perhaps my lips are just broken today. I suspect some further posts on here will confirm one or the other. As always, I"m very impressed with your unique wording. You have such a way to word things that I would never have thought of. Your poems tend to have a more classical ring to them. :0) I'm interested to see if you do change this what changes you would make. I wish I were experienced enough to critique better! :0) A fan, as always, ~Salinye
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