The Arch of Ezoob

[Wyvern]

The vision came to him in a dream...

 

Resting in an enormous mansion with numerous golf courts and swimming pools, Wyvern lounges on a golden throne while several Pen babes serve him king-size dishes on platinum platters and wear revealing bunny outfits. The regally dressed lizard laughs haughtily as he devours various exotic delicacies and is greeted by Ozymandias, one of his many servants. The humble Waiter of Waiters kisses all six of Wyvern's extended diamond pinky rings (mafioso-style) before asking Wyvern's permission to relay a message. Granting him the privelege of doing so, the lizard learns that Bill Gates has arrived at the front of the mansion and wants to grovel before Wyvern's throne and lick the dirt off of his boots. Considering this amusing option, the lizard decides to decline it in favor of the daily tax collector execution and the airing of the film "Die Melba Die," which featured Barbara Streisand in the roll of Melba and a young Sean Connery in the roll of the chainsaw-weilding Wyvern. The lizard still wasn't quite satisfied with the actor playing his roll in the film, however... after all, Sean Connery didn't begin to capture Wyvern's sexiness! Chuckling to himself greedily, the lizard huggles the bunny suite-clad Pen babes closer to him and... hey, wait a minute... this doesn't look much like a vision! Seems more like a fantasy, and it definitely doesn't have anything to do with an Arch of Ezoob... Darn it, this must be the wrong train of thought! Let's take it from the top...

 

After a clearing of throats, a deep voice echoes:

 

The vision came to him in a dream...

 

Wyvern stands upon a glacier of ice that's floating on an endless ocean of booze, which stretches for as far as the eye can see. The reptile sniffles and frowns, noticing that the ice he's standing on is slowly melting away and wondering how he ended up here. As if to answer his question, the clouds in the sky drift apart and the lizard is suddenly covered in a radiant ray of light... This light doesn't come from the parting clouds, however, but rather from another part of the glacier where Brute, the Prophet of Booze, is fiddling restlessly with a flashlight. Turning to Wyvern, Brute grins and sets his flashlight aside, approaching the lizard and waving a pale hand in greeting. Pointing towards the booze ocean, the Prophet exclaims:

 

"Isn't it beautifull, Wyvern?! Imagine, an entire ocean of booze...!"

 

The greedy lizard calmly grins and nods to this statement before reverting to a state of complete panic and running around in circles screaming:

 

"I DON'T WANNA DROWN!!! I DON'T WANNA DROWN!!!"

 

Brute casually walks up to Wyvern and pats the sobbing lizard on the shoulder, stating in a comforting voice:

 

"There there Wyv... there's no need to cry. This is just a vision, after all."

 

Wyvern stops crying as he notices that on the ice by his feet, there is written "This Ice is Property of Visions Inc. (copyright control)."

 

"A-a vision...? But why, Brute?"

 

The pale Prophet grins at this question, extending his arms as widely as he can as if wishing to capture the entire ocean in his grasp... After a moment of silent contemplation, Brute turns to Wyvern and places a friendly hand on his shoulder, tears swelling in the Prophet's eyes and a trembling grin plastered on his face. Another long moment of silence passes before the Prophet of Booze speaks up and answers:

 

"... I forgot."

 

Wyvern's excited anticipation ends abruptly and his facial expression goes blank as he hears this response, accustomed to Brute's occasional memory lapses but still caught off guard... Brute smirks and shrugs when suddenly, a flock of seagulls flies by overhead and drops a barrage of conch shells onto the Booze Prophet's head, reviving his memory in the process. Wyvern briefly notices that each of the conch shells is labeled "Property of Visions Inc. (copyright control)" before Brute suddenly snaps a finger and exclaims:

 

"I remember now! It's nothing much really... I just had to inform you that a quest that may determine your destiny is stationed before you. You must build a mighty ship out of free beer pretzles, fill it with a variety of animals, and sail it across an ocean of booze to the land of Ezoob, where parties occur all day, every day. As both the current owner of the Decanter of Endless Booze and the Patron Saint of Parties, you have been chosen to undertake this mission..."

 

Wyvern's facial expression remains blank and his jaw drops, not having any time to respond as both he and Brute begin sinking into the booze ocean. The last words Wyvern hears whispered from Brute before fully sinking beneath the tasty waves and awakening from his slumber are:

 

"... fear not the morning after...!"

 

OOC: This will soon be opened as a freeform Summer RPing thread, since I know we have loads of amazing roleplayers and would love to see more of them writing! ;-) Participation should be open to all members... Check the Greenroom in the near future for further details!

[smallscale_mind_games]

((Since the RP hasn't begun yet, I hope you don't mind a random OOC comment. This is too funny! I'll definitely join if I can!))

[Wyvern]

Wyvern awakens with a start, only to realize he's still having difficulties breathing despite no longer being surrounded by booze... Panicking for an instant, the lizard's mind races briefly before he discovers the source of the problem and breaths a sigh of relief. Gently lifting Cheyenne's left leg from his face, Wyvern inhales an enormous breath of air before setting it carefully onto the satin sheets next to him and lifting himself from the mattress. The sleeping form of Cheyenne fidgets slightly, mumbling something softly and clutching an adjacent pillow before reverting back to a motionless state.

 

Wyvern stretches and yawns, carefull not to make any noises capable of awakening his snoozing sweetheart. After quietly dressing and grabbing his Endless Decanter, the lizard stealthfully tiptoes out of the room and snickers at his cunning ability to stay silent for a full 5 minutes... The egoistic reptile then procedes to slam the door shut behind him, only to suddenly realize his mistake as it causes an echoing bang that awakens just about everyone in the hall. What's more, the lizard suddenly notices that according to his watch, it had only been 4 minutes and 30 seconds since he had gotten up... Cursing noisily, Wyv quickly dashes out of the hall before people can start throwing alarm clocks at him...

 

Running swiftly into the Pen's central kitchen, the overgrown lizard grabs a spare box of "Nanotoknonnen-Os™" off of a shelf and collapses into an available chair. Tearing open the box, the lizard rudely digs his claws into the cereal in the hopes of finding the "Free Seal of Armageddon" that supposedly came in every package. Pulling out a small action figure of a seal balancing a meteorite on it's nose, Wyvern spends a few moments in disappointment... Then, suddenly, the thought of animal action figures revives the memory of his dreams, and the lizard jumps out of his seat and exclaims:

 

"A seal... just like that one that frollicked by the swimming pool of my mansion in my dream! Man, what a great fantasy... I really should have let Bill Gates..."

 

Wyvern's short soliloquy is interrupted as the deep voiced narrator glares and growls "The OTHER dream...."

 

Wyvern pauses for a moment, then exclaims:

 

"Ohhhh... right! A seal... an animal, similar to those I need to collect for my quest! Only this one's kinda small, and not alive or genuine..."

 

Wyvern glances at the small action figure, wondering if he'd be able to con the people of Ezoob into thinking it was an actual baby seal. Carefully polishing the figure with a napkin, Wyvern curses as it's head falls off in the process. Stooping to pick up the head in order to try to attach it back on, Wyvern curses even more as both of the legs and the tail fall apart. The lizard then remembers that "Nanotoknonnen-O Prizes™" are Almost Dragonic Products, and sighs in relief since he isn't losing anything valuable.

 

Pulling out a piece of paper and a quill, Wyvern quickly jots down a messy train of thought that reads as follows:

 

1) Transport... need way to carry animals. Bag is preferable... large holding bag. O Harpy's Bag!

 

2/ Get Pen animals--- fuzzies, cabbage?

 

3. *Charge anyone who wants to tag along, then make'em build the ship!*

 

4 = need free booze pretzle supply... Tavern of the Morning Rose! Entry: clever disguise...

 

5 ----> Find and fill empty canyon for sailing across... big canyons. Map.

 

6: See second half 3

 

7~ Sail, and mission complete!!!

 

Grinning at his plan as well as at his handwriting (which was contantly improving) the overgrown lizard suddenly jumps in shock as another Pen member enters into the kitchen. Quickly crumpling up his parchment and stuffing it in his right ear in a feeble attempt at hiding it, the lizard quickly pretends he's eating "Nanotoknonnen-Os™" and cringes at the flavor and contents of the wretched cereal that he himself had produced...

[Canid]

Canid paded with grace over to the fridge, completely ignoring the shuddering Wyvern, but quietly enjoying the nervous twitches and poorly disguised attempts to hide both his thoughts and a bit of paper from her.

It was quite simillar, really, to the behaviour of a doomed rabbit she was stalking.

She removed a series of strange looking, though possibly edible items from an invisible pack she carried about on her back, placing each in the fridge in turn and shaking her head as Wyvern's nervousness turned to a greedy curiosity.

Canid turned around, closing the pack.

Wyvern was looking at her, almost trancelike with scheming.

Canid narrowed her eyes.

 

Prospero crashed into the wyvern, closely pursued by Waterlilly.

Canid noted that one of her tentacles was missing.

[Katzaniel]

In an alley nearby, Katzaniel, in tomcat form, is perched gracefully atop a garbage can, sleeping. After a few moments, however, the constant purr that had been eminating from her dissipated, its absence poignant. Then, her eyes snap open and suddenly her body is spinning through the air, changing as it goes. She lands on her feet, of course, despite the panic that her entire posture is portraying, but as a rather large tiger. It looks from left to right wildly, calming slowly upon seeing nothing to either direction. The creature, almost reluctantly, shrinks once more to housecat size, and crawls back onto the garbage can. Only a dream. It was only a dream, that huge bag, that lizard pouncing on her. Could never have happened.

 

Before she can fall asleep once more, however, the loud sound of a door slamming puts her again into full alert. Growling slightly under her breath, she goes to investigate.

[Wyvern]

Wyvern is trampled as Waterlily races over him and out of the kitchen exit... The giant plant shuffles down a corridor and eventually out of the Pen's front entrance, searching for tasty breakfast fungi growing on food in trash cans of nearby alleyways...

 

Within the Pen's kitchen, Wyvern recovers himself and regains his composure, once again staring greedily at Canid and her invisible Sack of Strange Edibles. Quickly brushing aside the dream memory of a certain wolf in bunny's clothing from his head, the sinister lizard slyly approaches Canid one step at a time, interested in both the sack she carries and in her being a wolf for his mission. Besides, the lizard was also hungry and craved something edible, and those rectangular things Canid was putting in the fridge didn't look bad at all. Mmmm... edible rectangular things...

 

Deciding that Canid wouldn't join or aid him in his quest without a bit of persuasion first, Wyvern clears his throat and nonchalantly prepares a bit of flattery:

 

"Why Canid, errrr.... your fur... it looks good! Did you cut it?"

 

Canid frowns and glares at Wyvern, angrily growling in response:

 

"No. I'd never cut my fur... The poor sheep that have their fur cut each year are treated like slaves by the farmers. Cutting fur from animals should be outlawed..."

 

"Ah, I see..." interrupts Wyvern, seeing he already blew his attempts at flattery but pushing on never the less "... well... today, the fur looks... errrr... particularllllllyyy... feral! Yeah, that's it!"

 

Canid sighs and rubs her forehead, growling:

 

"For the record: no, I won't give you any geld donations Wyvern... I stopped giving them to you around a year ago. Now stop this gibberish..."

 

Wyvern whimpers and swiftly dislodges the parchment from his ear, lifting it in front of Canid's face.

 

"It's not all about geld, see?!" exclaims the lizard in a whiny voice, pointing at his sloppy handwriting in an excited manner.

 

Canid skims over the plan for an instant in horrified wonder before her reading is interrupted by the sound of a trash can toppling over and the screeching of a terrified cat. Katzaniel suddenly races into the Pen's kitchen in her tigertaur form, her hair in total disarray. Angrily pointing down the hall to the front door of the Pen from her position at the central kitchen's exit, she exclaims:

 

"Since when does the Pen garbageman bear the ressemblance of an enormous, tentacle-weilding plant?!"

 

Raising a brow at the half-human/half-tiger, Wyvern brushes aside another leftover dream memory of a tigertaur acting as a lawn statue for his mansion before noting that Katzaniel would be a valuable asset to his quest, having the ability to morph into a cat.

 

"Will you be joining me in my quest too?!" exclaims Wyvern, pointing at Katzaniel "It must be... I'm on a roll! I promise there'll be mountains of raw rabbit guts in the land of Ezoob, along with all of the catnip imaginable! C'mon you two, let's go discuss a few things over in the Cabaret Room..."

 

As Wyvern departs towards the Cabaret Room, Katzaniel turns to Canid and mutters:

 

"What's all this about, then...?"

 

Canid shrugs and mutters back:

 

"I'm not sure... I haven't exactly been well informed myself..."

[Wyvern]

Wyvern quickly dashes into the Cabaret Room of the Pen and immediatly sets about getting to work on his elaborate schemes... Rapidly removing the Crow Feather of Reliability from a pocket in his tunic and using it as a quill pen, the inconsiderate lizard scrawls the following words on the nearest available wall:

 

"Want Free Parties All Day Every Day? Reach for the nearest crystal ball and call 1-900-WYVERNOWNSYOURGELD!* Ask about the Quest for the Arch of Ezoob!

 

*Note: Wyvern 1-900 numbers are best reached using Almost Dragonic Brand crystal balls and incantation services... now available with 20% less static!"

 

Wyvern adds a few flourishes to his writing, sketching a cute little drawing of an almost dragonic stick figure holding a large bag marked with a dollar sign next to the word "Ezoob." Satisfied with his artistic masterpiece, the greedy Elder hisses his plans in the hopes of relaying them to Canid and Katzaniel:

 

"First thing we need to do is gather Pen animals along with a decent map of the area surrounding the Pen and a bag of holding... we'll start with one of Nyyark's crows, then go for one of Madoka's sheep, then play it by ear from that point onward... A human will also be needed, not to mention some bodyguards and manual labor people. Be warned, Zool's chicken and Peredhil's guinea pigs will not be easily catchable... though Scarlett O'Harpy's Bag may prove to be even more of a problem. That is... unless we already have a bag of holding...?"

 

Wyvern turns hopefully towards where he thinks Canid and Katzaniel are only to notice that neither of his potential allies had followed him to the Cabaret Room... The lizard grumbles numerous curses under his breath, noting that it wasn't surprising since all of the venerable Pen members had become accustomed to shunning Wyv's ideas with an unnatural vigor. With his luck, the two of them were probably snitching his plans to a responsible Elder at this very moment...

 

Deciding that he should get to work despite currently lacking any helping hands, Wyvern quickly pulls an Almost Dragonic Brand ski mask over his face and cackles evilly at the thought of stealing Pen artifacts. Though the ski mask didn't hide the lizard's identity in the slightest, Wyv always loved to use product placement whenever he could. Letting out another of his signature evil laughs, the greedy Elder rushes out of the Cabaret Room and proceeds to tumble down a flight of stairs due to his "ski mask" not having any eye sockets...

[Canid]

Canid dodged out of Wyvern's path as he rushed through the Cabaret Room doorway where she had been discreetly listening.

She watched him tumble head-first down the stairs.

Canid was generally what Wyvern had thought of as a "responsible Pen member"... but it could not be denied that she had a certain love of mischief possessed by every good humoured wolf.

...not to mention a sympathy for Wyvern fopr his failure doomed plan.

She paused for a moment; reflecting.

She could probably help reduce the law-breaking in this situation by taking a muzzle (the wolf equivalent of a hand) in the matter.

Besides which... Canid was a strong believer in the virtues of curiosity, and Ezoob certainly was something she knew nothing of.

 

The wolf turned and moved fluidly out of the building to track down Prospero, then find Gyrfalcon.

[Vlad]

As the Greedy Elder of initiates continued tumbling, even after the stairs had ended (why waste so much cheap inertia?) he nearly bowled over more than a few of the pen members roaming the various halls. When he finally did stop, he ended up in front of one of his "self proclaimed devout followers", Vlad.

 

The vampire looked at the form of the Elder and pretended not to recognize who it was, partly to suck up, but mostly to humor the Elder. As Wyvern got up, Vlad suddenly pretended to have a Stroke of Genius, and realize who the honorable being before him was.

 

With a slight smirk, the vampire reached into his cape, pulled out a gold coin, and nonchalantly tossed it to the Elder. "Need any help, mysterious stragner wearing a ski mask?"

[Damon Inferel]

(OOC: Pardon my late entrance.)

 

Damon watches from the sidelines, polishing his rapier, as Vlad tosses a coin to the Elder. "Vlad?" He knew that he could mess with the vampire, and he never really knew how afraid of blood the undead man really was.

 

With a blank expression, he sliced open his index finger and flicked a small amount of blood onto Vlad's cheek, completely ignoring Wyvern's presence. He sucked on his finger a little bit, waiting to see what Vlad was going to do.

 

(OOC: Blood is sooo tasty... really. Meow... Eep, I shouldn't have said that...)

[Brute]

Meanwhile, in a tavern not far away...

 

 

Brute's pale head shot up from the table he had been sleeping on and his ebony eyes opened wide. "Wyvern! I forgot to mention..." he shouted. As abrubtly as he had been startled out of his slumber, Brute promptly forgot whatever it was he forgot to mention to Wyvern. In fact, Brute could not recall talking to Wyvern in the past few days. A frown crossed his pale face as he pondered his unusual awakening, then with a shrug of his broad shoulders, Brute dismissed the thought and summoned a drowsy barkeep to fetch breakfast. The barkeep set down Brute's meal, two tall tankards of stout booze and walked away with a yawn. Brute slouched in his chair as a warm smile crept over his face. Once again, he'd had that alluring and elusive dream of oceans of booze.

Edited May 31, 2003 by Brute

[Wyvern]

Wyvern shakes his head dizzily as he slowly regains his composure, desperatly trying to get his surroundings to stop spinning around him as he slowly stands on his feet. Suddenly hearing the sound of a clinking geld as it falls on the ground, the overgrown lizard quickly races after it as it rolls across the floor and ends up chasing it into the Pen's central garbage disposal chute due to his lack of vision... Both Vlad and Damon cringe as Wyvern let's out a terrified scream which eventually fades into a faint echo as he falls down the chute. The two Pen members wait in silence as they hear several screams and crashes echo throughout various halls of the Pen, until eventually Wyvern once again races down the stairs from which he had originally came (minus the tripping). The lizard is no longer wearing a ski mask, but now has an old piece of pie smeared on his forehead and the bones of a fish stuck on one of his horns. Clutching Vlad's geld piece happily in his right claw, the reptilian Elder joyfully speaks up and hisses:

 

"Vlllllaaaaad! Just the vampire and self-proclaimed devout follower I was looking for! Sucked on any good veins lately...? Listen, I need ya to help me with this little project I'm doing..."

 

Vlad raises a brow and frowns, muttering:

 

"Will this "project" bring up questionable issues and put my current Pen status in jeopardy, by any chance...?"

 

Wyvern whistles innocently and twiddles his scaly fingers a bit before responding:

 

"No! No, not really... Cross my non-existant heart and hope that Melba dies! This time, the plan is 100% guaranteed to work... I've ironed out all of the flaws! Besides, all you need to do is steal a couple of Pen animals for me... Of course, afterwards you may need to travel a couple thousand miles with me and sail on a ship made entirely out of pretzles for a few years... But eh, what's it to a vampire right?!"

 

Vlad continues frowning and slowly nods to this statement as Wyvern turns towards Damon Inferel and exclaims:

 

"Damon, this is no time for finger painting! Besides, if you're going to finger paint, be sure to use Almost Dragonic Brand Finger Paints, which now come in three beautiful colors: ACCEPTED stamp red, Pen ink black, and booze vomit green! They're made of only the finest of materials... *coughs* Anyhow, I suppose that since you've decided to mark Vlad's face with your blood, it's only natural that you should be included in this little scheme too..."

 

Having said this, the reptilian Elder turns back to Vlad and hisses:

 

"Vlad... if you help me with this scheme, and cooperate with Damon in the hopes of converting her to the cause of mischievous devout followers, I'll give you that title of 'Appointed Head Devout Follower of the Patron Saint of Parties' that you wanted."

 

Wyvern smiles a broad grin of razor sharp teeth before glancing in both directions and sinisterly whispering:

 

"Listen... I'm going to try to procure the Bag of Random Yet Handy Items from O'Harpy while she's still dozing. You two should try and steal a few Pen animals in the meantime... Rememer to be cautious when you do so, since we don't want to be found out too soon. We'll meet back up at the Cabaret Room at 11:30 hours.. 'til then, good luck!"

 

Hving said this, Wyvern begins heading towards Scarlett O'Harpy's sleeping quarters but is suddenly interrupted by a confused Damon Inferel, who exclaims:

 

"Wait a minute, what are we going to put the animals in if we don't have the Bag yet? And how exactly did I become a part of this scheme?!"

 

Wyvern nods and considers Damon's first question for a moment, choosing to ignore the second in the hopes that Vlad will properly persuade her. The lizard then digs through his tunic and hands both Vlad and Damon a set of Almost Dragonic Brand paper bags, ignoring the fact that they have several holes in them and won't be able to hold animals as he dashes away laughing greedily.

[Kasmandre]

Kasmandre was randomly wandering down the halls of the Pen when he came across Wyvern, Vlad, and Damon all whispering very conspiritorily with each other. Then Wyvern stuffed bunches of paper sacks into the other two's hands and ran off laughing greedily. Any time Wyvern was whispering conspiritorily or laughing greedily was a time to be watching out for your geld. When he's doing both, it's time to find a bomb shelter. In times like this, it would help to have a sane person involved to help keep the situation from getting out of hand. Since no one like that seemed to be around, Kasmandre decided that he'd find out what was going on. He casually walked over to where Vlad and Damon were.

 

"Hello, Vlad, Damon. What's going on?"

[Katzaniel]

In the meantime, Katzaniel, who was trying to escape Wyvern's mysterious new plan, had morphed into an innocent looking kitten. Having been identified by the lizard, and still remembering that she had dreamed something unsavoury about him, she recognized no better option than to scram, and fast.

 

Thus Wyvern found himself tripping over something that had not been there a second ago, and when he stopped to look, was no longer there. Turning around, confused, he spotted something shiny and was, luckily for the cat, distracted. Unfortunately, Vlad spotted her, leaning over to place the bag right in her path.

 

Katzaniel, still in a panic over having seen Wyvern twice that day, began sputtering and spitting immediately - and learned, when she had calmed down a little, that despite all the rips and tears in the thing, finding your way out of a wet paper bag was not easy after all, especially when it was held tight by a greedy vampire. Forgetting about finding a way out, the cat decides to make a way out, and pieces of bag fly all over the area as Vlad finds himself holding a growing creature and drops the bag just before it bursts into a leopard.

 

And the race is on.

 

Edit: deleting no-longer-valid out-of-character comment...

Edited June 7, 2003 by Katzaniel

[Racouol]

"So this is on big mansion Racouol," Murdock then stopped and started looking around, "Um, so where is the kitchen anyways? It has been a while sense I last had something to eat."

 

"What do you mean your hungry??? You just had a huge meal not even an hour ago." Racouol replied while looking at his underling. "I thought you dragons could go days without eating anything anyways."

 

"But an hour without eating is such a long time to go without eating. I am a growing dragon for crying out loud. Lets go find the kitchen."

 

Racouol glared at Murdock for a moment "Fine, we will go." Racouol then took another look around. "Actually, how do we get to the kitchen anyways."

 

"Isn't it in your map??"

 

"A yes I am sure it is. Lets see." Racouol starts rummaging in his pockets and pulls out a kettle " no that won't do." then he pulls out a skeleton of an ancient dragon "hmmm, thats not it either", a couple dozen rats "Damn I thought I killed the last one months ago"

 

Minutes turns into hours and Racouol is still searching through his pockets creating a huge pile of discarded items infront of the hall.

 

"You forgot it didn't you." Murdock finally said

 

"Well when you get my age you tend to forget things every now and then" Racouol replied "I guess we are going to have to ask someone."

 

"Who do you suppose we are to ask. I have yet to see anyone while we were here."

 

"Well, errr, um, errrr we could ask...." Racouol then notices Wyvern in the distance. "We could ask Wyvern, looks like he is headed this way."

 

"Has he seen us yet?"

 

"Doubt it."

 

"So do we jump him, drag him into an empty room and then the information out of him."

 

"No murdock we do not, Just watch the master at work." Racouol then smiled then turned to the oncoming Wyvern. "Hey Wyvern can you come here for a moment?'

[Kasmandre]

Kasmandre looked at the ensuing chaos and decided that he definately had to get involved, if for no other reason than to satisfy his curiousity.

 

As the bagged kitten grew into a leopard, Kasmandre realized that it was really Katzaniel. Now, for all he knew, Vlad had a perfectly legitimate reason for trying to capture Katz in a flimsy paper bag, but, as a rule, Kasmandre didn't trust the undead, even generally amiable undead such as Vlad. So, he did the only possible thing: he tackled Vlad, bringing both of them to the floor in a pile of thrashing limbs.

[Vlad]

Falling is something you get used to after a while. Even being tackled by random strangers. But Vlad was still surprised when he saw Kasmandre's left bicep pushing down on his face. Vlad didn't take too long to think about it, and almost immediately bit into the archmages neck, which happened to be close by. Funny how anatomy works.

 

... Well, the vampire thought he bit into Kasmandre's neck. It was more of the upper back. Realizing his mistake, Vlad immediately jumped up, leaving his victim bleeding on the floor.

 

"Sorry 'bout that, old chap. I truly am. Hmm... Where's Melba, someone needs to clean up this mess."

 

Looking around, he sees one of the paper bags on the floor, and Damon lying somewhere close by. Walking over to the two, first he picks up the paper bag, then helps Damon up.

 

"You see, Wyvern sometimes has these crazy schemes that nobody thinks will work. But I have faith in him. I mean, just look at the law of averages, and the laws of probability. One of these plans is bound to work! And I want in on the geld!"

 

At the word 'geld' an echo resonated through the halls, obviously Wyvern's voice, "Geld? Where?"

[Damon Inferel]

(OOC: Dear, dear, dear Mr. Wyvern. While I am unbelievably flattered that you consider me a lady, and I mean that with no sarcasm at all... really, I happen to be a guy. however, as it has been done, and since I have some experience as RPing as a lady... I'll give it a go. You may call me a lady if you wish, oh dearest of lizard kings. I appreciate your understanding in this matter though...)

 

Damon glances a Vlad, confused both at what Wyvern had said, as well as the fact the 'hematophobic' vampire was not screaming and/or melting at the fact that there was blood on his face... "Vlad..." she sighed. "Believe me, I understand the lizard's dyslexic mind, but it is of no bother to me. Being a demon and all, I enjoy travelling, and I would be more than happy to get away from the chaotic Abyss on a joyful cruise powered by Wetzel's Pretzels." she glances at Vlad and blinks a little more, wondering if he actually notices there is blood on his face. "Doesn't that freak you out, even a little bit? Ah well, I suppose I can not get the desired reaction every time."

 

Damon pats Vlad on the shoulder and teleports behind him. "You know... I can be pretty vampiric too you know. I wonder what your blood tastes like..." she leans over to bite Vlad on the shoulder, but reconsiders, as coagulated blood is not her drink of choice.

 

In a second, she is standing behind Wyvern, her hand firmly clasped on his tail. "Certainly I will attend you Mr. Wyvern sir, so long as you allow me to bring my pink kittens along with me. That includes the leopard over there..." she comments, pointing to Katzaniel, her voice going moderately possessive and sinister. "I want him... the kitty. Get me my kitty, and make it pink, and I'll go with you..."

 

(OOC: I don't know if this is important or not, but my character is a succubus. Succubus are legendary for their perfect figures and their nature for tempting human souls into... stuff. Though my character may have the perfect figure and all of that stuff... she has been alive too long to continue her tempting things, especially since after a few thousand years... it gets boring. But she can if she has to... Also, in case no one knew, a succubus is a demon, and they understand all languages, and can communicate telepathically with anything that has a language within a hundred feet of them... ><)

[Wyvern]

Wyvern continues dashing forward in the hopes of reaching O'Harpy's lair, thoroughly exhausting himself in the process... Suddenly, the overgrown lizard notices that he's not gaining any ground, and decides to pick up his pace... Pushing himself into a sprint and gritting his teeth in the process, the reptilian Elder's eyes widen as he notices that he still isn't moving an inch from his initial position. Collapsing to the ground from exhaustion and sobbing uncontrollably at the unfairness of the laws of nature and movement, the lizard suddenly notices that his lack of movement is due to Damon Inferel holding him by the tail, and sighs in relief... After listening to the succubus' speech, he responds:

 

"Certainly... feel free to bring along as many pets as you'd like! In fact, the more the merrier! As I said before, though, it's currently the job of you and Vlad to procure said pets. I'm sort of searching for a holding space big enough for a small Pen zoo... Catch and bag the kitty, and you can feel free to paint it any color you want! If you can't, I'll help ya with it later..."

 

Damon frowns slightly and nods, letting go of Wyvern's tail and turning towards Katzaniel sinisterly.

 

Wyvern is about to use this opportunity to begin truly heading towards Scarlett O'Harpy's sleeping quarters when suddenly, another tantalizing holding option becomes available...

 

"Hey Wyvern can you come here a moment?" calls the voice of Racouol from a nearby room.

 

Instantly recognizing the voice of the legendary Bearer of Deep Pockets, Wyvern rubs his scaly claws together in anticipation and immediatly dashes towards the source of the sound. Entering into one of the Pen's many housing quarters, the overgrown lizard enthusiastically greets both Racouol and Murdock before gleefully hissing:

 

"You called, sirs?"

 

"Yeah, hiya Wyv..." responds Racouol "... I was wondering if you might know the way to the Pen's kitchen. This place is so big, and I'm kinda lost..."

 

"I sssee..." mutters Wyvern while scratching his scaly chin in mock contemplation "I could certainly show you the way to the Pen's kitchen, though it wouldn't be easy... I'd want something in return."

 

Racouol grumbles to himself and rolls his eyes. "I should've known... well, I s'pose I could spare a geld or two-"

 

"Not geld." interrupts Wyvern.

 

Both Racouol and Murdock stare at Wyvern bewildered for a moment, cleaning out their ears with Q-tips before the lizard continues:

 

"Instead, I want your aid in a little scheme of mine... I need a place to hold a bunch of Pen animals, and your Deep pockets would be perfect for the job..."

 

Having said this, the lizard takes out an enormous contract written in extremely small handwriting and a quill, handing them to Racouol and Murdock as the two associates exchange concerned glances.

 

"The faster you sign this thing, the faster you'll be eating edible rectangular things in the kitchen!" exclaims Wyvern with a wink.

[Kasmandre]

Kasmandre picked himself up off the floor, observing his bleeding shoulder with a kind of dazed detatchment. He stood there, just staring at it and dripping blood onto the floor for a good minute and a half before shaking his head and turning back to Vlad.

 

"So, Wyvern's behind this? Why would he want you to go membernapping? And why..." he trailed off, staring into space for a moment and swaying slightly.

 

Vlad took this opportunity to remark, "Are you feeling alright, old boy? Maybe you should get that shoulder looked at."

 

Kasmandre looked at his shoulder, a little surprised at first to see all the blood soaking into his (previously) white shirt. Then he waved a hand at it. "Eh, I've had worse," he replied, slurring the words together into a mush that sounded more like "Eh, ived worth." Then he fell forward, being saved the embarasment of falling face first into his own blood by Vlad's reflexes.

 

"Right, you've had worse," Vlad said, now trying to figure out how to get Kasmandre some help quick enough that he could still catch animals for Wyvern.

 

As for Kasmandre, he had one distant thought: Oh, right, the "worse" was when I was still pretty immortal. Then he passed out.

[Damon Inferel]

Damon looked a Katzaniel, the giant leopard, evilly. "Meow... It's a kitty."

 

She blinked for a moment, knowing the cat was going to run away, as well as knowing it wasn't really a cat, and turned her attention to the fainted Kasmandre. "You know Vlad, for someone who says he's afraid of blood... you sure don't seem to have a problem with it. You're just a stereotype... Anyway, I guess we should take him somewhere else." She picks up the missing arm of Kasmandre, the seemingly dead-but-used-to-be-somewhat-immortal-guy, and looks at the little red button on the wall.

 

'Destroy the World' it says. "No, not that one." she mutters to herself, looking next to it at the pink fluffy button with flowers.

 

'The evil button that will kill all of you and places arms back on seemingly dead-but-used-to-be-somewhat-immortal-guys'

 

"Yeah. The pretty one that most demons don't like. It's so cute though!" she smiles widely, her eyes taking on the appearance of quivering cute kitten eyes. "Push." she says, pressing the button into the wall, as she holds the severed arm back to it's original owner. The arm melds back into Kasmandre with a loud metallic sound, the buzz of drills whirring about in the background as mechanic gnomes fix him up.

 

"Now," she says, grinning again, looking back at Katzaniel, "The kitty."

[Racouol]

"Hmmm," Racouol grabbed the contract out of Wyvern's hands and took another good look at it. Muttering to himself he then reached into his pocket and pulled out a large oak desk, three throne like chairs, a pair of reading glasses, and a huge magnifying glass. "You might as well sit down, this will take a while." He then started reading the contract.

 

"But I want some food now. Hurry up and signed the contract." Murdock whined as he sat in his seat.

 

Meanwhile Wyvern started pacing around. Now and then he would stop to see if the contract was signed then mutter something under his breath before starting his pacing again.

 

After about a half hour Murdock jumped onto the desk, ed the contract from Racouol's hands, and signed both his and Racouol's name on it. He then tossed the contract to Wyvern.

 

*WHACK* Racouol peeled what was left of his frying pan off the now unconsious Murdocks face. He then put his hands around Murdocks throat and started squeezing. "What the hell do you think you were doing you overgrown lizard?!?!?! I should kill you for pulling a stunt like that!!! You sould know better then to write other people's names on any sort of contract!!"

 

At that moment Wyvern grabbed Racouol's hands and started to try prying them from Murdock's throat. "Calm down will ya, there was no harm done."

 

Racouol just let out a beastly growl.

Edited June 4, 2003 by Racouol

[Vlad]

Vlad watches what happened with slight amusement, making a mental note to remember that button. The red one. Could be useful for when he runs out of things to do.

 

After seeing Kasmandre get healed in a makeshift sort-of-way, he tosses the body to Damon. "Take him somewhere, and meet me... wherever I am in thirty minutes. You can do that teleport thing again." With a smirk, Vlad goes off to find Peredhil.

 

After some fruitless labor, Vlad begins to give up, when he sees Damon again. "Hey, can that teleporting thing work on more than one person?" The demon seems to hesitate, then responds with a slow nod. "Excellent! Can you bring Peredhil over here? I'd ask you take me to him... but I don't like to travel more than I need to."

 

Giant guinea pigs are animals... right?

[Wyvern]

"Calm down will ya, there was no harm done." cooes Wyvern as he tightly clutches the forged contract and attempts to remove Racouol's fingers from Murdock's scaly throat. "After all, according to the contract, there shouldn't be any harm for at least 3 and a half more minutes!"

 

Racouol stops strangling Murdock momentarily in order to turn towards Wyvern, and growls:

 

"Now wait a minute... you know very well that I didn't sign any contr-"

 

"Where's the kitchen?! I'm starving here!" interrupts the now-breathing Murdock. "It's time to fufill your side of the bargain, Wyvern!"

 

"Hold on sec..." mutters Racouol "... I didn't sign-"

 

"And that I will, my dragonic friend!" interrupts Wyvern in a sinister tone. "The kitchen you're searching for is directly across the hall... in fact, you can see it from here!"

 

Having said this, Wyvern points a scaly finger directly outside the room towards an adjacent chamber where numerous dishes are clearly being served. Racouol slaps his forehead and curses as Murdock ignores his mistake and chooses to obey his appetite, quickly dashing across the hall to get some grub. Wyvern cackles sinisterly and turns towards Racouol, eyeing the frying-pan wielding wonder evilly...

 

"Just a minute..." exclaims Racouol. "I swear, I didn't si-"

 

"Don't forget about the parts on the contract where you have to bear the inconvenience of having a zoo swarming around in your pockets..." interrupts Wyvern while laughing "...not to mention the responsibility of taking care of my taxes when we get back!"

 

"T-t-taxes?! I didn't sign the frickin-"

 

"Too late now!" hisses Wyvern, noticing that the 3 and a half minutes before harm are up. Quickly whipping out a pair of handcuffs, Wyvern rapidly attaches one cuff to his right wrist and the other to Racouol's left wrist. The Lord of Nightmares' jaw drops open as Wyvern quickly casts a "Summon Roller Skates" spell, which causes two very unfashionable looking skates to appear where Racouol's new pair of 1000$ shoes had once been. Wyvern lets out a signature evil laugh as he dashes out of the room, Racouol having no choice but to follow, rolling uncontrolably behind him...

 

Passing by Vlad in his wild dash, Wyvern points towards Racouol rolling after him and exclaims:

 

"I found a holding facility, now I'm gonna go and search for a few animals! You can come along if you'd like, though we might cover more ground if we searched for animals seperatly...!

 

With that, Wyvern lets out another gale of evil laughter and sets off in the direction of Madoka's sleeping quarters, Racouol still rolling along behind him...

[Canid]

Having determined with certainty that Gyrfalcon was not in, Canid turned back into the forest to see how Prospero was getting on with his task.

Legman had set up an experimental patch of forest within the pen woods. Canid had concealed it with some of her camoflage magic to prevent Gyrfalcon from locating it, but Legman, understandably paranoid ghost that he was had hidden it in space time - a little beyond her own magical reach.

She had sent Prospero off to locate some of the creatures that would find their way into current bits of forest, in hopes of finding Legman's "floating toenail" as he had called it.

As she went, she noted the availabillity of food from Wyvern to the local wildlife.

 

 

The fuzzies were quick to learn of this, and shot toward the pen quite independantly...