autumn_sun Posted May 18, 2003 Report Posted May 18, 2003 [[Just a note...Merry's [known here as smallscale_mind_games] character, Keye, sorta inspired me to write this...but I have no idea where it came from...]] A little boy stands looking scared Blood trickling down his chin His mother yells at him YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT! She screams, his red-brown eyes filled with tears I TAKE CARE OF YOU, FEED YOU, CLOTHE YOU, AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME?! Another harsh blow, blood spraying, falling on the white floor The little boy's confusion turns to hatred, he doesn't understand Why does she do this? Why does it hurt? What did he do? Why can't she be like the other mothers? The beating continues, the cries for help getting louder There's no one to save him, there's no one to play hero. Mama, Why? Stop it, Mama! I'm sorry, Mama! The crying stops, the boy falls to his knees Please, Mama... He begs, his eyes as wide as can be But it's too late, the final stroke falls The child lies on the floor, a pool of blood forming around him There was no one there to save him, no one to play hero.
smallscale_mind_games Posted May 18, 2003 Report Posted May 18, 2003 *shudder* oohh, very neat. I like how you changed that one bit There's no one to save him, there's no one to play hero. from present to past tense in the last line. very spooky. If you don't mind, I'll put it in Keye's description (if I ever get one of those up)
autumn_sun Posted May 18, 2003 Author Report Posted May 18, 2003 (edited) =smiles meekly= sure! No problem! /so/ glad you like it! ^^ Edit: I like how you changed that one bit from present to past tense in the last line...dude...I didn't do that on purpose!!! Edited May 19, 2003 by autumn_sun
Chanz Posted May 19, 2003 Report Posted May 19, 2003 OMG! so sad! but beautifully written There's no one to save him, there's no one to play hero.Hit home so much. nice going!
Sorciere Posted May 20, 2003 Report Posted May 20, 2003 You captured the bewilderment beautifully, very graphic and so sad.
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