Parmenion Posted May 17, 2003 Report Posted May 17, 2003 They vied against the sands of time, That futile march they made in prime, While old or foolish watched aloft, With frowning brows as they scoffed, They shouted down to braver souls, In battle lines of peppered holes, "The fight is lost 'fore its begun, Throw down your arms, turn and run!" The old or foolish predicted well, The ancient enemy's ranks did swell, And bore down upon greater men, And slew them all, root and stem, The gift of caution lost its way, As valour died a death that day.
Ayshela Posted May 17, 2003 Report Posted May 17, 2003 well written. very vivid. and a very good question. is it better to die for something you believe in or to live on knowing you were cautious, you were prudent, and you never even tried? good question.
whitenoise Posted May 18, 2003 Report Posted May 18, 2003 wow...both of you have very good points there... Nicely written poem...all your rhymes were related to the subject...I always hate that when someone can't think of something that rhymes, so they throw in some weird phrase...nice poem
Alaeha Posted May 18, 2003 Report Posted May 18, 2003 Good Poem... It seems a little bit rough to me, as if you were trying to be brief or concise in a poem and thus left out "extra" words and such that could've improved the flow of it a bit. I enjoyed this one though... It raises a good point.
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