Parmenion Posted May 13, 2003 Report Posted May 13, 2003 I once searched for greatness, Under the shadow of a tree, Looking hard, I was careless, For the knowledge was within me. Thought I, when I was down, My best poetry I did write, Wear a nose and be a clown, For I could not see the light. I used to write of death and life, On failed romance I’d dwell. Every day came filled with strife, As I created my own little hell. The perfect woman I did make, Up here, inside my skull, Sense forced me up to wake, Stop being silly, stop being dull. Such a queen cannot exist, Get up, go out, have fun, Try so many you’ll need a list! And settle down when done. So up I got and out I went, I missed the comfort of my bed, For I was tired and all but spent, The noise it pounded in my head. Then I spied across the room, Fingering her glass, A young lady at the height of bloom, She seemed a darling lass. We drank, we spoke and laughed a bit, The seven dwarves we named, An adult but sometimes a kid, A passion no man could tame. All too quickly it did end, She could have been my match! ‘Cos of her job, she couldn’t bend, Oh! But what a catch. Now everyday is ne’er a bother, For I know my dreams are real, I’ve found one, I’ll find another, My heart to whom I’ll seal. The greatness spoke of at the start, Is not being rich or fame, It is simply to give all your heart, And be rejected without shame.
Salinye Posted May 14, 2003 Report Posted May 14, 2003 OH I really like this a lot! Your rhyme and rhythm are impeccable in this one. I also LOVE the message. GREAT message! Thanks a million for sharing!! ~Salinye
Peredhil Posted May 14, 2003 Report Posted May 14, 2003 Very good. Heh, those who insists on settling for nothing less than perfection - always are miserable and have less than perfection. perfection's the destination, but as you point out so wonderfully in the poem, life is the journey - enjoy all the scenery!
Wyvern Posted June 27, 2003 Report Posted June 27, 2003 I really like this poem, Parmenion... As others have said, the rhyme scheme and form are both excellent and definitely add to the piece. I also liked the mood of the poem, as it seemed jovial and positive throughout even the most tragic moments of the narration. I feel that the poem not only drives across the theme of perfectionism's corruption, but also deals with the theme of learning from one's experiences, as it's only after the narrator has taken a shot at love that he realizes that he'll eventually find someone. Good stuff.
Sorciere Posted June 27, 2003 Report Posted June 27, 2003 I'm really glad you posted this I love it when I read it
Dragolin Posted August 16, 2003 Report Posted August 16, 2003 (edited) oh, this is one damn good piece Parm, thx for linking me ;-) here the rhyme really adds up to the value of the poem, I read it a bit as a story, with a loud narrator adressing the croud he heats up when your story needs it to and calms down when a serious part needs saying. I really enjoyed reading it, for the poem drags you on and on I like how you put a serious matter in a jolly poem, you can read it both ways, but the message is always there This might actually be my favourite line of all "And be rejected without shame" Are you famous yet Edited August 16, 2003 by Dragolin
Annael Posted August 18, 2003 Report Posted August 18, 2003 You know the saying, "there are more fish in the sea?" Well, some poor bloke actually did the math. Turns out that there are potentially 50 000 "soul mates" for every person. Knowing my luck, they're prolly all on the other side of the world from me, but like you, I know that my dreams can come true.
Beautiful Nightmare Posted August 18, 2003 Report Posted August 18, 2003 *smiles* I remember this one! hehe and i dont just mean the poem...didnt know you wrot a poem bout it but hun im very glad you did im not gonna say the ryming was good cos u have heard it enough and i want your head to be able to fit through that door *points to her right* *hugs* nothing is perfect but i no a few people who come pretty close i guess she was the same for you...like for example you are pefection to me...suppose its cos i love you but now im sounding like a soppy old fool *grins* good poem hun!
Recommended Posts