Shadow of the Butterfly Posted May 13, 2003 Report Posted May 13, 2003 (edited) Dark branches, thin and brittle Bare the weight of the sky upon their shoulders Crystal clear droplets Cling in the wind Endowing the ebony branches with a silver sheen "The sky is falling the sky is falling" The wind whispers of the efforts of man One tree bends and bows and breaks It begins to rain harder, as the sky loses more support Silvered tears leap down the sides of buildings Tripping, falling, weaving Slithering down paths made by birds in the air The rain is cold and hard and living, breathing Sighing through the twigs and leaves Whispering on the sidewalk Singing through the trees Murmuring down the side of my face Laughing in puddles, tittering in ponds The silent rain speaks endlessly In tongues of ancient love Serenading the parched earth Descending in mass from above ~~ ~~ Edited May 13, 2003 by Shadow of the Butterfly
Amos Greywind Posted May 14, 2003 Report Posted May 14, 2003 Wow, I loved the flow of this poem. the mood comes across very well. Thank you for another good poem Amos Greywind
Peredhil Posted May 14, 2003 Report Posted May 14, 2003 I like the flow, and I like the descriptive words you chose - they fit without being pretentious. Project for future poems, perhaps... using explicit punctuation at the ends of lines instead of implicit punctuation formed by the breaks?
The Portrait of Zool Posted May 14, 2003 Report Posted May 14, 2003 What a lovely poem, which speaks of the joy and oneness of life and the love the earth shines on it's creatures everywhere, beyond the moment and experience of rain.
Recommended Posts