Shadow of the Butterfly Posted May 10, 2003 Report Posted May 10, 2003 A girl alone on a concrete bench Pale blonde roots showing Before her cascade of dull raven waves Gaunt and pale, lifeless Her eyes glitter darkly Rarely blinking in an attempt at nonchalance Morbid artistry upon her skin Many rings adorn her ears: Society's lost childe "Lonliness in the human condition," She murmurs to herself Her voice holds no hope Abandoned by her mother No father to feel bereft of Moved from one place to another Trust is foreign to her eyes Fierce pride and angry independence She has grown up in the shadows Unable to see the light Behind the wall she has created My email address is livelybrilea@hotmail.com. This poem was inspired by the movie "White Oleander." Thank you for your time.
Peredhil Posted May 11, 2003 Report Posted May 11, 2003 Peredhil gives her a reassuring hug and a stack of books to read while waiting. That is just fine. It's an original work, it is well done, and you posted it in the right place. With a nod to Melba to make sure she's fed occasionally, he slips away again.
Psimon Posted June 3, 2003 Report Posted June 3, 2003 Indeed, Rune, indeed. This is a beautiful piece, Shadow. Trust is foreign to her eyes Fierce pride and angry independence Wow! Strong image - Fierce and Angry - wonderful combination. She has grown up in the shadows Unable to see the light Behind the wall she has created So sad, yet so many of us are building our own walls ever-higher every day. Great image of isolation (behind the wall) and darkness. Sorry. This isn't really the place for critique, but I just had to say how much I enjoyed this work. It is not for me to say, but IMHO, it's just a matter of waiting from here. I am sure we'll soon be welcoming you to the fold. Good luck. And don't worry about Melba. She's mostly harmless... though there was that time... er, never mind. It was nothing, and the family never came looking for the applicant, so there's nothing at all. Is there? No. Nothing at all there. Runs out before Melba takes another bite of his sorry Elven butt
Melba Posted June 3, 2003 Report Posted June 3, 2003 Melba chases Psimon a few steps before coming to a panting stop. What an IMP he is. (And such a cute little hinney!) Patting her heavily hennaed hair back into its monsterous beehive hairdoo, she turns back to Shadow of the Butterfly. Don't worry dearie, That Elder she nearly spits the label will be around eventually. He always comes back - the Lore Masters have enchanted this Office to be one of the few places his creditors can't come for long. She keeps up a continual stream of talk as she bustles about cleaning and arranging. I'D stamp it ACCEPTED if they'd let me, but NOoooo, I'm only the ALMOST Secretary. Oy! I'd like to give that lazy lizard such a PINCH sometimes! Turning with a speed that is surprising in one so... stout, she thrusts out a plate of confections. Eat! You look so skinny, what? You think all the boys want a chicken? Eat! Eat! you'll starve waiting for Wyvern!
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