Finnius Posted May 9, 2003 Report Posted May 9, 2003 (edited) For all of you out there who like the Matrix: Why, Neo, why… Why did you take the red pill? I mean, obviously the blue pill was the right choice. Think about it this way: what did the machines ever do to you? Oh, they ‘stole your freedom?’ They used you as a battery? Well whoopedy-freakin’ do! It’s not like it’s a bad deal, man. You get, what… a delusional life where you have at least a little thing called- oh I don’t know- THE SKY! You get something that might taste like an actual lobster every once in a while… oh God, save me from the evil computers. They’re giving me lobster. Just take the freaking blue pill and shut up, already. I mean, would you have taken the red pill if everything had been explained to you beforehand? “Ok, if you take the blue pill, then you can go back to being a corporate nothing, taking it from the ‘man,’ and occasionally getting thrown a steak dinner; or at least a reasonable facsimile. Now, the red pill… that’s where it’s at… take this baby and you’re in for a whole world of pain! First, we’re gonna pull all these wires and cables ‘n stuff out of you. Then, after a soothing coma, you get to vomit a lot, and get your ass kicked by a Samuel L. Jackson clone with no freaking inflection. Oh, yeah, and you get a chrome-plated hole in your head.” C’mon, Neo, take the blue pill… Seriously, I’m pretty sure Neo would have gone back if that had been an option. “Hey, Trinity… what exactly is this stuff we have to eat?” “Well, mainly it’s re-processed battery acid and old Elmer’s Glue.” “Oh… damn I miss my hair.” Take the blue pill, Neo, take… the blue… pill. Hey, so it’s not all bad… I mean, seriously, that whole, “I know Kung Fu” thing? Kinda cool… Except when you realize that he could have just saved some money and taken a class in the Matrix… and he wouldn’t have to get all pale and emaciated to do it. Really, I get that feeling every now and then when I pass a car… I think, hmmm, that might be sentient machine, but I neither know nor care, because I was smart and I took the blue freaking pill! All that is to me is Agent Smith, Lord of Rivendell, and Polite Ancient of the Pen, and he ain’t doin’ jack, because I’m just a sheep… a sheep who still thinks he has hair, and occasionally has a passable steak dinner. Not like you, ya bald, pill-poppin’ mook. Take the blue pill, Neo. I’ll use small words so you can understand: Blue pill good, red pill bad. And those two guys on the ship, the ones who were never in the Matrix? I bet they wish they had a blue pill. “So what if everything tastes like chicken over there, it’s better than battery acid and watery oatmeal.” “Hey, what’s a chicken look like?” “I don’t know, my parents took the red pill, dork.” Blue pill, Neo. Take it. Try it; you’ll like the faux steak a whole heap better than running from the killer robots with your hairless girlfriend. Oh, right, you can dodge bullets. Guess what, genius? If you’d taken the blue pill, you wouldn’t have to! If you’d taken the blue pill like a good little boy, you’d be at home, in a comfy bed. Or at least you’d think you were, and that’s good enough for me. In fact, you’d probably’ve gotten a promotion, and a few more steak dinners, or maybe a lobster, I mean, what’s the difference, it’s all ones and zeros, right? Tasty digits those are, Neo, but you took the red pill… And look where it got you. You can jump over buildings. Like Superman. I tell you, I’m really impressed by that. I’d be even more impressed if you maybe had hair. Here’s something else, Neo, something you might have forgotten to ask about. “Hey, what’s the fashion scene like in the real world?” “Well, we have beige, faded green, and gray. And that’s about it.” “Well… let me try that blue pill.” Good boy, Neo, good boy. Take the blue pill. Edited May 9, 2003 by Finnius
Ayshela Posted May 9, 2003 Report Posted May 9, 2003 well, yes, but just think - if he took the blue pill, where would the story be?
Peredhil Posted May 9, 2003 Report Posted May 9, 2003 LOL! That's hilarious! In the background, Elladan speaks into his collar, "He know about the Agent Smith cover. Now we have to ...
Kasmandre Posted May 9, 2003 Report Posted May 9, 2003 "Is it better to try and fail, than to never try at all and spend the rest of your life wondering what would have happened if you had?" -An exerpt from "A Life Less Empty" by Ted McKeever, one of the short comics at whatisthematrix.com. It's basically about someone who chooses the blue pill. Just remember, if you take the blue pill, you have nothing, just the vague knowledge that there's something else to everything, that you're not seeing everything. Can you honestly say that that certainty wouldn't drive you mad?
Annael Posted May 19, 2003 Report Posted May 19, 2003 isn't Morpheus Lawrence Fishburne? Winks and flutters her wings cute and well written
smallscale_mind_games Posted May 19, 2003 Report Posted May 19, 2003 But see if you take the red pill, you get to dress like a vicar and wear cool shades!
autumn_sun Posted May 19, 2003 Report Posted May 19, 2003 =laughs= if he hadn't taken the red pill, he wouldn't have been able to wear a DRESS and STILL be seen as cool. this is hilarious, by the way!
Blondemoon Posted May 20, 2003 Report Posted May 20, 2003 LOL! Oh how could I have missed this on the first time around?? *sits back in her chair and snickers* I could say some things, but in the case that some people here haven't seen Reloaded yes, I refuse to spoil it. But about the chicken thing....if they really wanted to know what it tastes like, why not just ask Col. Sanders (the Architect guy)? (I was sorely disappointed by the ending though...for two hours after the movie, my friend had to put up with me saying "That's just so wrong!" )
Finnius Posted June 6, 2003 Author Report Posted June 6, 2003 I will now assume that it has been long enough for most everyone who is going to see Reloaded to have actually... well, seen it. If not: STOP RIGHT HERE. Good? OK? All right, then. Blondemoon, what was so bad about the end? Unless... *Clucks teeth* you didn't stick around for the preview after the credits? Ooooh, tell me you saw it... In any case, I must make a few revisions in light of Reloaded: The blue pill? Still the right choice. Abso-freakin'-lutely. So we've heard the arguments for red, free will, a chance at true, real, happiness, romantic Kerouac and all that. Maybe so, maybe so. But I pose you this question: If the humans win... really win, and be done with the living machines, free everyone from the Matrix, and do away with the whole thing: Then what? With no Matrix, the vast majority of people would die out. Think about it, they're all hooked up and being fed nutrients through tubes, mainly reprocessed humans. Ghoulish? Well, many cultures bury their dead. The bodies break down, sift into the soil, and get absorbed by plants, which we then eat. It just takes longer. In any case, without everyone hooked up, there wouldn't be enough food to go around. Starvation station, man. So the machines are doing us a favor, if you think about it. I, for one, bow to my mechanical masters. Obviously they're smarter than us, I mean, we... oh, for example, Blew Up the Sky! I think I'll let the computers run things for a while, thank you. One more thing before I go; I for one am glad to see that my boy Pere- I mean Smith is coming up in the world. You go, Hugo, you go.
Tasslehoff Posted June 6, 2003 Report Posted June 6, 2003 Eh, I saw the Second MAtrix and it seemd just like the first one, and tell you the truth, sitting around through an hour of credits wasnt worth the showing of the next previews..
Tamaranis Posted June 6, 2003 Report Posted June 6, 2003 Err yeah, spoilers in this post... . . . Seriously though, I'd rather have seen the destruction of Zion then watch Neo beat up those programmed thugs... We all knew he was going to crush them, what was the point of that battle? It wasn't even that spectacular... I don't know if I got used to it or something, but the fights in the first movie were more impressive to me. I really think Neo should have made shorter work of those three agents at the start of the movie than he did, and his unbelievable invincibleness could have been established right there. For the rest of the movie it wouldn't have been neccessary to have him needlessly doing impossible things.
Blondemoon Posted June 14, 2003 Report Posted June 14, 2003 Finnius...nope, I didn't stick around until after the credits...I had no idea there was going to be a preview for the third one. I quit kicking myself for it though. *rushes off to read what she can before her cup of coffee runs out and she goes back to sleep*
Elvida Posted June 25, 2003 Report Posted June 25, 2003 Call me completely insane...but I would have taken the red pill. I dunno....I'm just weird that way...
Elwen Posted June 26, 2003 Report Posted June 26, 2003 I would have taken the red pill as well. Being as curious as I am (the saying should be "curiosity killed the kitsune", not "curiosity killed the cat"), there would basically be no other way for me. I'd want to know what the Abyss was really going on! *smiles* And I didn't stick around. The only time I'd want to stick around after the credits is if there's a cool ending song (LOTR ring any bells?). Reloaded didn't have one, so my friend and I hightailed it out of there.
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