Alaeha Posted April 29, 2003 Report Posted April 29, 2003 Wrote this just today... in Creative Writing. It was vaguely inspired by a poem I had been reading earlier. The first line was similar to a line from a T. S. Eliot poem. So it's very distantly related. Anyway... Here's the poem. The Unicorn Oh, I have seen the Unicorn, and seen her mane of silky white. She beckoned with her pearly horn, and led me through the dark, deep night. We walked a path of peaceful quiet, safely distant from the world. While at home there was a riot, silv’ry, dew drenched leaves unfurled and I was blinded by a mist, but followed on behind my friend. The dew stung not, but rather kissed my eyes, there at the world’s end. The forest seemed to disappear at once. It seemed I stepped from woods to plains, from tier to tier. I knelt, and softly wept. Tears flowing, I sat still a while, then heard a loving voice. “I’ve been with you uncounted miles, and now we can rejoice.” I turned and saw a lovely maid with pale, silken hair, her horn did not completely fade. The Unicorn was there. Oh, I have seen the Unicorn, she led me from my woe. If e’er she beckons with her horn, unquestioning I’ll go. She’s made my life worthwhile to live, and for her life, my own I’d give.
smallscale_mind_games Posted April 29, 2003 Report Posted April 29, 2003 advice: Some of the rhythims seem to falter a bit. ego-booster: *big sparkly entranced eyes* wooooow...I love it. It has such an innocent feel to it.
Ayshela Posted April 30, 2003 Report Posted April 30, 2003 nice. i didn't notice any faltering rythms, myself??? my only question would be, specifically why the tears?
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