Psimon Posted April 29, 2003 Report Posted April 29, 2003 Desert Rose ********************************* Colour sharp as thorns, so clear. No blemish, mark nor tint Shape as slender as the flame in eyes of steel, a hint. Visage pure and true, no mask Eyes cold, she faced the sands. Just one lie would break her heart betrayal in his hands. They conquered many lands as one She craves him, love unbound. Alone she stands as sunlight fades alone... her hope unwound.
Alaeha Posted April 29, 2003 Report Posted April 29, 2003 Very nice... Successfully written in a tight form. I really liked this... The last two lines of the second stanza in particular struck me. I guess that's all I have to say. Good Job, then!
Gwaihir Posted April 29, 2003 Report Posted April 29, 2003 A powerful piece. I always love your care to rhythm, meter and sound. This poem feels like the form helps you not hurts you, which is, to me, the sign of mastery of a form.
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