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The Pen is Mightier than the Sword

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Posted (edited)

Merry trots into the Recruiter's Office, slightly twitchy with apprehension, but reasoning

If I don't get accepted, I can always try again

She has, after all, been told by a few that she has a "way with words", so there's no reason why she shouldn't be accepted...right? She pushes her doubts to the back of her mind, and grabs an application off Wyvern's desk, glad to see that the scaly creature is, for the moment, absent; she is in no mood for solicitation.

She stares blankly at the sheet of paper for a few moments...then a few more moments...then a few MORE moments. This goes on for awhile, and Merry realizes with a thrill of horror that a few moments have multiplied into a few hours, and nearly everyone else has finished their (undoubtedly wonderful) applications and gone home. She frowns, and glares at a random sentient plant, which is finishing a steak in a corner, and decides to overcome the Writer's Block Demons

 

Name: Merry Cavalier

Age: 15

Amount Enclosed: Nice try, Wyvern. Better luck next time.

Application Title: Something Strange in Peachtree City

 

Tour bus drivers are polite. It's in the job description. This driver, however, was altogether sick of pointing out Big Ben, Trafalgar Square, and other such irritating landmarks.

"Thank you for choosing Swan Tours, NOW GET OFF MY BUS!!"

That evening, Cole Thomas was fired. His twin had warned him that his temper would get him into trouble someday, but had he listened? Noooooo.

He returned home in a foul mood which was not at all helped by the sound of Mordekai repairing a flute-the near endless succession of sour notes was anything but soothing. He growled and went out to get the mail. Anything for relief of that NOISE!

Aside from the usual bills and threats of eviction from their appartment (because of Mordekai's career as a flute teacher), there was one faded envelope which looked quite official. Something about it radiated foreboding, and importance.

Or maybe it was just the words:

'Last Will and Testament of Wilfred Thomas'

"Hey Mor!"

He called, stepping back into the apartment.

"Uncle Wilfred died."

"Are you sure?"

An odd reply. Usually one would not ask such a question...but you never could tell with Uncle Wilfred. He was such an eccentric character.

"Well, no, I can't be completely sure, but here's his will."

He ripped it open, squinting at the contents.

"He's left us his house in...Peachtree City Georgia."

"Oh so he expects us to 'bang!' just like that, move to Georgia?"

Mordekai's deadpan tone never changed. Cole rolled his eyes.

"Why not? You don't have any students, and I was just fired."

"Oh. All right then."

 

And that was that. A couple months of talking to lawyers, tying up loose ends, attending a decidedly weird funeral, and 'bang!' just like that they were standing outside a largeish house holding suitcases. In the next yard, a dark-haired adolescent girl walked in circles, chattering exitedly on a cell phone. Unlike the rest of the people they had met, she didn't have a southern accent. Obviously she wasn't British, but at least she didn't quite seem to fit either. Mordekai smiled tentatively at who they would later come to know as 'the local non-conformist.'

 

They entered the house, and were shocked at the sight of...nothing but a lot of dust and yet another foreboding letter.

Cole opened it, and began to read aloud:

"My dear Mordekai and Cole, we should begin with a tour of the house"

He paused.

"Sheesh, no sentiments? Just abrupt like that? Anyway...

Start with the basement."

The twins went to a door, labeled conveniently in faded red paint 'basement'. They opened it and stepped inside.

"Open the red umbrella, otherwise things will fall on your head."

They looked to a battered red umbrella, but too late. They were viciously dive-bombed by small floating things that glowed. Cole managed to bat them off the letter and continued to read.

"Go into the next room."

They did so. What they saw sent Mordekai a-blinking and Cole reeling backward and stuttering in terror. It looked like a giant venus fly trap, only with far more dangerous teeth. It also looked quite hungry. It snapped at the air a few times, just to make the point (whatever THAT was). Cole, his mind unable to process this, looked back down at the letter, and finished the paragraph in a strained and terrified voice.

"D-don't worry...about...Herbert...he's a....v-vegitarian"

 

Merry finishes her writing on this odd cliff-hanger, hoping that it's good enough. Just for safeguarding, she decides to try to beat Wyvern at his own game. Using her Authoress Powers of Doom, she causes an authentic-looking paper to appear, reading "SWEEPSTAKES! SIGN HERE AND YOU COULD WIN UP TO 100,000 GELD!". She tapes this above the last line of her application, which says: "I, Wyvern, hereby accept Merry Cavalier (smallscale_mind_games) to the writers' society of the Mighty Pen. _____________"

She giggles and places it on the lizard's desk, and noting the lateness of the hour decides to spend the night in the office. She spends several amusing hours lighting paper airplanes on fire and flying them into Wyvern's desk, while listening to a song which is, incidentally, also about flaming paper planes, though in a far more symbolic sense.

 

((I DONE! PEACE!))

Edited by smallscale_mind_games
Posted (edited)

Peachtree City! Not that accursed place!! This should be interesting...and as pip said at least you have inspiration!!! OK, so I'm not working on a magna plot...in fact I couldn't even guess at what would even be considered a plot of that genre in the first place...but inspiration is indeed hard to come by for oddities like myself.

Edited by troubled sleep
Posted (edited)

*takes a small sip of tea, and promptly spits it out* Merry, you already know this, but I shall repeat what Emily has said many times: you can get high off the air, onna! My friend, this is funny...extend it and use it as an Original Work for forensics next year. Goddess knows that someone needs to be funny, what with me around...

Edited by Elwen
Posted

ah, jeeze, LYNNE! You're funny, gawd. After all, who said "She's three quarters & a half dead!"?? Heeehee...but yeh..this ish so much better than my pitiful attempt [i repeat myself myself]

Posted

Don't remind me of my Lynne-ish-isms, please! *sighs long-sufferingly* But all my stories are so...angsty! And yes, I eat angst flakes for breakfast, Merry.

Posted

Angst Flakes-You can just SMEEEEELL the misery!

Theme song: Dancing Through Sunday

 

YEESH I'M SO HYPER!! NYEEEEEEEK!!!

I should probably listen to "This Time Imperfect" a few (hundred) times to calm meself down. BUT O WELL!

*glomps everyone within shouting distance*

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

Smallscale Mind Games sighs miserably and fidgets in his applicant easychair... The poor applicant had waited for well over a week for Wyvern to take notice of his application, certain that the overgrown lizard would be immediatly attracted to the sweepstake offer attached... yet somehow, the sheet had managed to go unnoticed. Grumbling to himself and rising from his seat, Merry decides to head over to the Elder of Initiates' desk to see what's up...

 

Seated at his desk and taking occasional sips from the Decanter of Endless Booze, Wyvern claws through numerous papers littered on his tabletop, pretending to be seriously at work but actually searching for a particularly tantalizing picture of Cheyenne he kept saved for those long office breaks... Come to think of it, the majority of the lizard's time spent in his office was in breaks...

 

"Mr. Wyvern...?"

 

The reptilian Elder turns his scaly head and raises a brow towards Smallscale Mind Games, who had just arrived at his desk and was asking for his attention. Taking another short sip from the Endless Decanter, the lizard stretches lazily and responds:

 

"Yessss, how can I help you?"

 

Merry clears his throat and responds:

 

"Well... I submitted my application here a while back, and it hasn't been answered yet..."

 

"Oh?!" exclaims Wyvern, suddenly frantically looking through the papers on his desk.

 

It is at this point that Merry notices that 60% of the countless papers littered on the desktop seem to be sweepstake adds, many fabricated by the reptilian Elder in his never ending quest for geld. Suddenly realizing where the confusion has stemmed from, the eager applicant quickly plucks his familier application sheet from a large pile of sweeptake offers present and hands it to Wyvern.

 

Snatching the application from Smallscale Mind Game's hands and thanking him for pointing it out, the overgrown lizard reads over the story on the sheet a few times and an evil grin spreads over his face. Placing the application back down on his desk, Wyvern turns towards the applicant, flashes a toothy grin, and exclaims:

 

"A very entertaining and well written application story, Smallscale Mind Games... though your response to "Amount Enclosed" might have been more generous, nobody's perfect! Come to think of it, not many people have responded generously to that question... I really should reword it..."

 

Having said this, Wyvern flashes another evil grin and mutters:

 

"It's interesting that you should mention both Peachtree City and enormous plants in your application... my most recent no-fail scheme involves a giant inflated peach balloon that I've set up and am charging people to see, claiming that it's 'James' Giant Peach' come to life! It's amazing how gullible the average human sight-seeing tourist can be..."

 

Wyvern's explanation is suddenly interrupted as Melba bursts into the office weilding an "Anti-Wyvern" mallet, her face red with rage as well as with something else... Turning to the overgrown lizard and pointing an accusing finger, the Almost-Secretary exclaims in the most high-pitched, helium-filled voice imaginable:

 

"That's the last time I'm going to try a Wyvern brand gargantuan fruit as a snack! Giant peach indeed... you DIE!!!"

 

Wyvern quickly stamps Smallscale Mind Games' application ACCEPTED before he gets clobbered into oblivion...

 

;p

 

OOC: An ACCEPTED application, Smallscale Mind Games... welcome to the Mighty Pen! :) My apologies for the length of time it took for me to respond, my final exams have my creativity in a vice grip... Be sure to either post your e-mail address here or mail me at elitwack90@hotmail.com so that I can send you some additional Pen info... Welcome, once again.

Posted

congratulations on your accepted application!

are congratulations on a sudden sex change in order as well? ;)

Posted

Myself, I would think that one would want condolences, rather than congratulations if they were turned into a male...

 

Women get the shaft physically, and Men are regarded by society as being slime. Pick your poison?

 

Congratulations on being Accepted!

Posted

Peredhil winces at the innuendo he detects in Alaeha's gender statement, even as he hugs Small Scale Mind Games with a congratulatory hug.

 

Welcome M'Dear... finally. ;)

Posted

Wyvern bows humbly to both Smallscale Mind Games and Alaeha, then whimpers:

 

My apologies for the gender confusion... come to think of it, looking back at my older application responses, a good 70% of them have the genders confused... ;p Somehow, it ends up being a reoccuring error on my part... though I suppose one could argue that it ultimately adds to the incohesive and chaotic nature of the responses...

 

Wyvern bashes his head against his desk a few times, briefly apologizes once again, and dashes off to find some cheap profits...

Posted

*Hugs* I apologize... No offense was intended in my statements. I was simply commenting on the idea of Congratulations. (And the innuendo was unintentional... I didn't even realize it was there until just now, having read the latest posts on the thread. My apologies for that, as well.)

Posted

gods, i must be tired! i didn't even see the innuendo, had to read it five times to see what Peredhil was commenting on. (wanders off shaking her head)

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