Annael Posted April 23, 2003 Report Posted April 23, 2003 here's a little free form, cause hey, it's what i do best Have you ever noticed how easy it is to take the advice of other people to let them tell you what you should and shouldn't do. But what makes them so much better then you that you should take their advice? Do they have a degree on life that you don't have? Did they go through so many trials and tribulations that they know all the right answers? Hardly. What they have is a mightier-then-thou complex. They think that they're God. From every little thing about your life they have to comment. I don't like your hair that way You're fat Get a job What do you need that car for? You'll just kill yourself. And on and on it goes. There is nothing that they won't comment on, tell you what to do and when and how and why. They just are. And what are they? Quiet simply, they're family. And deep down inside, you want them to tell you what to do. No matter how much you tell them to mind their own business and to leave you alone. Once they are gone, you will wish that they were still there, dodging your steps with their heavy handed attitudes and endless supply of suggestions. They're family. And so you love them.
Archaneus Posted April 23, 2003 Report Posted April 23, 2003 Not to be condescending, but I don't see poetry. It seems more like a rant or a monologue. you could try revizing to make it have more flow.
Vlad Posted April 23, 2003 Report Posted April 23, 2003 For once, I agree with everything everybody before me posted.. Don't have anything too add though, except that it's good insight. I like how the stanzas are seperate ideas...
Salinye Posted April 23, 2003 Report Posted April 23, 2003 I like the point of what you wrote. :0) It was free style which often means NO form but brings out some raw emotion that you can take and put into form. :0) Great way to get the thoughts out first. :0) ~Salinye
Annael Posted April 23, 2003 Author Report Posted April 23, 2003 Not to be condescending, but I don't see poetry. It seems more like a rant or a monologue. you could try revizing to make it have more flow. The whole idea with free form is that it doesn't have to flow, Archaneus. Also, POETRY doesn't HAVE to flow. Or rhyme or have reason. Poetry is an expression of thought and feelings. There is no right or wrong with poetry.
Vigil StarGazer Posted April 23, 2003 Report Posted April 23, 2003 Have any of you saw the movie "dead poet society?" the protagnios as a high school teacher told all his students to rip out the introduction to the poetry text book because it's crap... Poetry does not need form or other rythming devices to constrain itself in it's construct, but rather it is a few simple line that expresses a magnficant amount of depth, invoking feeling and thoughts from the reader. The rythmes, the quatlets, phases are all just devices to shape the poem, but not vice versa
Peredhil Posted April 23, 2003 Report Posted April 23, 2003 Ouch! As one who endlessly gives advice... Well done Angel-o-mine.
Alaeha Posted April 23, 2003 Report Posted April 23, 2003 Hrm... I've heard two definitions of Poetry in the past. The two camps on it seem to be that poetry is: 1) A construct of words that express an idea in language that flows (is appealing or pleasant to read). 2) A bunch of words that are written to express emotion. Myself... I'd say that it is all of the above. This isn't because I write structured poetry. I'll explain briefly. If you see something truly beautiful, and want others to have the experience of seeing it, you want to draw/sketch/paint it so that it is appealing to the eye. So that they see the beauty of it. You want it to be what you saw, so you'll use the more elaborate methods rather than drawing stick figures and a little circle with a smily face in it for the sun. Likewise, the flow is used not only to make it appeal more, but also to immerse the reader in it more thoroughly. The rhythm you use doesn't have to make it peaceful or serene... Anyone who's heard Rap knows that. But the use of flow for appeal is also important because if your art doesn't appeal to people, so nobody reads it, is it really art? Just my thoughts. I'd say that whether poetry is required to flow or not, it's wiser for it to flow than not.
Annael Posted April 24, 2003 Author Report Posted April 24, 2003 *shrugs* writing is one's art. And art cannot be graded or judge. Think what you will. Look at all the abstract artists of the world. There's no form to their work. And yet it is some of the most influencial and noticable art there is. So the next time someone writes a piece of work that doesn't flow, or colours outside the line, you guys jump on them and tell them that their work isn't right.
Peredhil Posted April 24, 2003 Report Posted April 24, 2003 Pets and soothes Annael until her ruffled feathers settle back into place, and then buffs her halo until it shines. People tend to forget that the first battles were fought by angels... With a hug, he redirects again. Ahem. As I was saying, I think this really captures something true... On the other hand, it's easier to give advice when one is not completely involved. There is enough concern and care to want to help, but not enough to emotionally swamp the advisor (hopefully). People caught up in the situation tend to be just as blind as the person in the center. Good poem.
reverie Posted April 26, 2003 Report Posted April 26, 2003 (edited) ...just a thought... was listening to NPR today... Anyways some great tv chief was talking (can't remember his name) Anyways he said something to the effect... That you have to become a craftman before you become an artist... Kind of like, you have to know the rules before you can go beyond and or break them. I guess we're all lazy in this, but a little toil can go a long way in creativity... All that said. Poetry is exspression. The forms are tools used to help you identify with different viewpoints. I see them as mental exercises. Still at the root of it all, is the raw observations. So I think this poem is a poem. It would probably function best as a performed piece of spoken world where you add in drama and what not... revery the dreamlost "you find magic from your god, we find magic everywhere..." (dar williams) the dream continues... Edited April 26, 2003 by reverie
gjunon Posted April 26, 2003 Report Posted April 26, 2003 well with me i hardly get to see my family and i do wish i could confide with them but that hardly ever happens we are all so busy now.
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