Salinye Posted April 22, 2003 Report Posted April 22, 2003 OOC: I was in the mood to write, so I sat down deciding to write free form style letting whatever escape. This is what turned out. I have an explanation of sorts, but I'll see what you think first. Remember it was written free style, so I'm sure it's in DIRE need of editing. :0) Did you know you saved me? I was lost, so lost. Swimming in the ocean of life. Did I say swimming? I meant drowning. Sinking to the bottom of a life I didn't understand. With all my might I fought against the current of hostilities. Kicked to free my legs from the seaweed like vines of discouragement. Held my breath against the all-consuming waters of abuse that threatened to consume me. Looking upwards, the salty residue of contention stinging my eyes I could see the lit surface of the water beckoning me to win the fight. Stretching my arm upward I reached for acceptance, and understanding, air. I was tired, and my reach fell short of my goal. I wasn't going to win this fight alone. Suddenly the glass like surface of the water rippled its protest As your hand descended into the violent pits and clasped my hand. You fingers entwined with mine pulling me upward, gently bringing me to new heights. For a moment, as the seaweed regretfully let go of my ankles I dared to hope, to envision, to love and be loved. It was only as my face was freed from its watery prison To be kissed by the sunlight and my nostrils deeply inhaled The warm breeze of unconditional love did I truly see- There is a life outside of the ocean.
Justin Silverblade Posted April 22, 2003 Report Posted April 22, 2003 (edited) Now there's a poem. Yeah, it might need a bit of editing, but I really do like it. (had some music on at the time, set the mood kinda nice-like ) I can really feel the thought process through the raw writing though (which I think is a really REALLY good thing. ) Thank you for sharing. - Justin PS - if you're willing to explain a little the ol' thoughts that went through writing it, I'd love to be on the other side of the proverbial coin. PPS - Ooo! Look at how many smilies I got in that time. I'm so proud of myself. Edited April 22, 2003 by Justin Silverblade
Salinye Posted April 22, 2003 Author Report Posted April 22, 2003 LOL Thanks for all the Smilies! I am willing to share my thought process. I really did sit down just to let the words flow free form style. What ended up being written is a vague description of my life before I met my husband. Although, not entirely. Hmmm how to explain. I think most of the drowning, and helpless feelings portrayed in these "all consuming waters of abuse" referenced much of my home life, adolescence, child hood, whatever you wish to call it. I believe that I found my own way to the surface, but my husband taught me how to swim and even enjoy an occassional dive. Does that make sense? He was the first person that truly loved me unconditionally, and that really changed my life. :0) His love opened my eyes to so much beauty in life that I had missed before. Not because I was a negative person or down or anything like that. I just was so surrounded by the trees I couldn't see the forest. Again, am I making any sense? I'm trying to explain without going into too much detail, because I don't want it to seem I swim in a pool of pity due to the past, because I truly don't. However, on the flip side of the coin, I think it's not a part of me, yet I sit down to write and this is what surfaces. :0) I guess I'm just grateful for two things. One, recognizing the ocean (the one depicted in the poem) for what it is, and two, instead of running to dry land forever instead learning to swim. (cope and move on in a positive manner.) ANY of that make sense? *looks at the time* It's far too late for me to try thinking lol. OH, I also think it had a bit of a subconcious connection to the fact that I have a healthy fear of the ocean. Love and admire the ocean, but definately have a fear of it too. :0) Well there you have it. Perhaps I'll edit this explanation in the morning when I read it and can't make any sense of it! lol Anyway, thanks for the comment, I appreciate that you could interpret some of my meanings. :0) ~Salinye
Tattered Posted April 22, 2003 Report Posted April 22, 2003 From the first word to the last you had my undivided attention. Not perfect form, but more so like the human form, you wrote from your soul. Very touching. Natalie
Peredhil Posted April 24, 2003 Report Posted April 24, 2003 Stands well on it's own, becomes even better for me when I read your explanation. Could be reworked, but everything important is there.
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