SoaringIcarus Posted April 19, 2003 Report Posted April 19, 2003 I wouldn’t tell you, Under blossoming trees and pulsating shadows Of the petals collecting in your hair. You continued speaking With lively gestures While the sunlight caught your smile, And I dared not interrupt The construction of cities Beyond your irises. I wouldn’t tell you How spectacularly radiant you were And how The petals that grazed you Had only just begun to live.
Wyvern Posted April 19, 2003 Report Posted April 19, 2003 A very good free verse poem, SoaringIcarus. I found the imagery of flower petals very intriguing, and like how it accentuates the beauty of the person the narrator speaks of. The last two lines of the poem offer an excellent piece of symbolism which, in my opinion, might be associated to the gradual growth of beauty. Once again, very well done!
Peredhil Posted April 19, 2003 Report Posted April 19, 2003 Welcome back! Kinda neat, the discreetly appreciated object of desire appreciated for the creativity building IN the head as well. Moves it to a loving appreciation of the total package. I can just picture the protangonist thinking, "Lucky petals to have touched that cheek," as the subject talks on, oblivious to the feelings the writer holds.
Cerulean Posted April 20, 2003 Report Posted April 20, 2003 A delightfully tender and touching piece. I loved the wonder of it - the fear of breathing even in case you fracture the moment. Thanks, it was a ray in the day of this old curmudgeon.
wyldpatienz Posted April 20, 2003 Report Posted April 20, 2003 Simply stunning. I'm not a big poetry reader. I like Mary Oliver and that's about it,lol. So, when I see a poem I like well enough to praise the writer I consider it above and beyond alot of the published poetry out there today. This is beautifully subtle. The line "...the construction of cities beyond your irises"....makes me feel that even though he was standing right there with her, she appeared to be miles away within the depth of her knowledge and just a secret knowing of things he can't grasp. Well done. Tyler
reverie Posted April 25, 2003 Report Posted April 25, 2003 now that's what i'm talking about... bravo... great imagery... revery the dreamlost "chew on this..."(jolly rancher) the dream continues...
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