Vietnam Vet

[kandara]

A poem I wrote a while back.

 

 

 

 

VietnamVet

 

you're 18 and so confused

you really don't know what to do

then uncle sam says I want you

 

with gun in hand you're on a plane

to a place thats dark and strange

you're young and eager to play the game

 

he says to kill for the flag

for duty and honor and to stay alive

and the first time in battle you're terrified

 

you turn to drugs to try to hide

and if you manage to survive

you become hard and callused and numb inside

 

the people you kill aren't people any more

they become objects and casualties of war

they're just faceless things that have to die

 

some times you even forget why

so many people have to die

for freedom and liberty and apple pie

 

when your tour is done and at home again

no one gives you a welcome then

they call you murderer and spit on your back

 

then years later the nightmare returns

you're there again under attack

you shoot at them and they shoot back

 

the sound of a chopper or even a loud crack

the next thing you know is you're back

you relive the battle in your mind

 

to you its real and you react

you get called crazy and other things

you don't fit in now that you're back

 

you live in the streets and no one cares

how or why or what keeps you there

that you were there in vietnam

[Wyvern]

Moved this thread to the Banquet Hall, as that's where poetry belongs. I like the poem, kandara, it's a very clear an concise depiction of the horrors of war. I found the image of becoming "calloused and numb" despite surviving particularly striking. In terms of things to improve, the "apple pie" reference seems a bit out of place to me and might be switched for something else.

 

Good work, I look forward to reading more from you.

[Peredhil]

great first post at the Pen! Welcome.

 

Good job and a serious subject.

[Tamaranis]

Occasionally I wander through here and read something at random...

 

I don't have nearly the credentials Wyvern does, but I've got to say I disagree with him on the apple pie thing. It's sort of out of place, but in a way that alters the poem in a way that I think was quite deliberate.

 

And overall it's a powerful poem.

[Ayshela]

i can see both, actually. the apple pie does seem on its face out of place, but in a context of wartime cliches versus reality it doesn't seem amiss.

[kandara]

Thank you for the very nice feedback.

[Cerulean]

I thought the 'apple pie' line to be the most effectively damning statement of the poem. It makes perfect sense doesn't it? I'd change it slightly, though, to read: 'Freedom, liberty and apple pie.'

 

All the best,

 

C.