WrenWind Posted April 17, 2003 Report Posted April 17, 2003 untitled -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The light shines on her face Peacefully she sleeps She is an angel from hell Returned to the world How can such beauty so fair be so evil The light shines on my blade Peacefully she sleeps I am a devil from heaven Returned to find her How, how can such as I be so good? I am..... She is Darkness now fills me as her blood runs with mine Peacefully we sleep Forever
Ayshela Posted April 17, 2003 Report Posted April 17, 2003 Interesting contrast. i'm pleased to see the defiance of stereotype. You weave your images and atmosphere well. One question - Did you mean returned to find her? spelling fixed - Peredhil
Peredhil Posted April 17, 2003 Report Posted April 17, 2003 graphic images and nice twists on contrasts. This would be a neat prologue to the story you're growing...
reverie Posted April 18, 2003 Report Posted April 18, 2003 well, it's nice how you duplicated you structure from the first 3 stanza's to the next... the contrast kinda throws me though... maybe the devil person is self righteous... thinking himself good? or consider himself a devil for having to kill one of such of beauty... Angels from hell... hmm, here's an idea... maybe they knew each other before the fall/ angel rebellion in heaven... and he still remember her for the angel she was... and now views himself evil for having to destroy her... thus he kills himself too... kewl... revery the dreamlost "shine on, sweet diamond"(pink floyd) the dream continues...
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