Psimon Posted April 16, 2003 Report Posted April 16, 2003 Here's one I wrote for the wedding of the twin brother of my best man... whew! Anyway... the marriage lasted a year! I was so sad (hopefully my poem had nothing to do with it!) The Poet's Dream **************************** Awake, I see the ocean vast and powerful in actions and words echo on it's shores Beauty in it's life and motions. Asleep, I see the rose budding in the wilderness hazy throwing off the rocks and stones that make this world so crazy. Enriched with time, it grows as I see you both together reveals the ocean and the rose that is your love forever. May your love for each other know no bounds May it set the world on fire and the stars dim beside it May angels and heroes weep at the beauty there May you live forever within it. ******************************* Sorry for the sudden flood people... I've not contributed for so long, I felt I'd better get off my - dare I say it? - *sexy* butt and post something. (no nasty comments from the gallery on the sexy butt comment pls LMAO ) Anyway... Peace. Out.
Alaeha Posted April 16, 2003 Report Posted April 16, 2003 Great poem... I've never written a poem about someone else's love... Well, not one where that someone else's love was returned. Interesting use of partial rhymes, too. Good form and good poem. But we don't have a peanut gallery here... Nope! But I'll make you a deal: I won't comment on your sexy butt if you don't comment about how mine is entirely too intelligent. (I'm often called a smart... umm... I don't use such language) Fair enough?
Peredhil Posted April 17, 2003 Report Posted April 17, 2003 avoids the whole butt thing as his target is far too large and inviting. I'd hate to end up the butt of the joke. Anyway, I think the first two stanzas contrast nicely, and set up for the unifying third verse, which in turn leads well into the well-wishing of the fourth. Good stuff, maynert.
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