Aardvark Posted April 14, 2003 Report Posted April 14, 2003 The mission was simple enough. Drop out of hyperspace just outside sensor range of the station, cruise past, deposit high explosive and jump out of there. Just one minor detail. Roughly half the Aerian Navy currently resided in the system. All of them with explicit instructions to not let anyone blow up the station. All of them with hundreds of thousands of credits worth of training behind them piloting hundreds of millions of credits worth of spaceship, many of whom have had combat experience in the various wars that the Aerian's started just to fight off stircraziness. But that station's destruction was an important step in knocking the Aerian's down a few notches. An all out assult would never work, for the afformentioned reasons pertaining to Aerians in high tech ships with big guns. The only way it could be done is by a pilot of reknowned skill in stealth and sabotage piloting the most advanced fighter with the latest in masking technology backed up with the best insider information money could buy. Why they gave the mission to me is anyone's guess.
Peredhil Posted April 14, 2003 Report Posted April 14, 2003 Meep! The title gives the most compelling reading twist to the intro paragraph... I'd be forced to read on, afraid I knew what happened, but hoping the protangonist managed to find a way out.
Gwaihir Posted April 14, 2003 Report Posted April 14, 2003 one of those lovely one paragraph pieces that is so much more than such a short piece should ever be able to be. fun read
Starlight Posted April 15, 2003 Report Posted April 15, 2003 Aardy should go work for Hollywood *g* Very nice teaser
Archaneus Posted April 15, 2003 Report Posted April 15, 2003 ~Archaneus reads and suddenly feels imcomplete~ Please write more!
Aardvark Posted April 17, 2003 Author Report Posted April 17, 2003 The hell? How'd this get here? It must be some kind of gnomish pixy or something. Possibly a leprechaun or an elf of some sort. Yeah, that's it. Elves. Shifty little buggers. Learned it from the best, though. The fat bearded one who slides down chimneys. If anyone can teach an elf wile, it's Fat Nick. Goddamn kris kringle, the nazi arab, turning them into pintsized terrorists, sneaking into unsuspecting homes, opening up people's memories and pasting the first paragraph anna bit of their unfinished stories for all to read and steal. This was one of the many I started over the past... quite a while. Started, but didn't get very far. God knows how it ended up here, though. Although, I was pretty out of it when I started writing it
Gwaihir Posted April 17, 2003 Report Posted April 17, 2003 I'm casting Summon more gnomish pixies elves, whatever then
Ayshela Posted April 17, 2003 Report Posted April 17, 2003 It's gremlins. I'm telling ya, they get everywhere, go through everything, move your coffee cup so you knock it over onto your keyboard, erase your backup disks, shred the only copy of that vitally important document - they're eeeevil!!! Though in this case, i'm glad they attacked. Was a wonderful "grab you round the throat" beginning. If we summon more gremlins, will they find more of the story?
Gwaihir Posted April 17, 2003 Report Posted April 17, 2003 that's why I'm summoning. I'm hoping they'll bring the rest of the story
Ozymandias Posted April 20, 2003 Report Posted April 20, 2003 Well, finally some Sci-fi! (my apologies to any other embattled SF authors I've missed 'round here, I'm heading for ya!). It's very interesting so far, too. Thanks to Uncle Orson (Orson Scott Card, author of Ender's Game), I'm developing more and more of a taste for militaristic SF. The attention your little teaser is generating is arther interesting, Aardy. I actually got a 'report this post to a moderator' message about it. When I opened it up, I found out it was from another reader who really liked it and wanted to know what'd happened to the rest. *nudge nudge* Definitely the most interesting post report I've had yet. The aerie has me intrigued, as well as our jaded (?) hero. A society of pilots, perhaps? Maybe the best spacefaring warfleet in the galaxy? Or maybe a space station colony that doesn't use gravity? Does our protagonist die? How, exactly does the mission go down? I have a habit of rooting for the underdog, so I want to know! For the polite segment of this response, I do want to ask you one favor- please don't use the adjective you used to begin the sentence about the "pintsized terrorists". I try to be pretty liebral about language usage, but that's one term that I and at least some others will/do find offensive. That being said, don't worry, I'm not mad or anything. I just don't want to see it typed here, that's all, no more. For the impolite segment of this response- FINISH IT!!!!!!
Kasmandre Posted April 25, 2003 Report Posted April 25, 2003 Gnomes, gremlins? For me it's Fornits. I just drop some food into my keyboard (they like potato chips) and they make me some stories. Hm...I wonder if I could e-mail you a few, Aardvark. Heck, I'll e-mail 'em all if I can get even another paragraph of this story!
Aardvark Posted April 25, 2003 Author Report Posted April 25, 2003 Oh, the whole blasphemy thing Yeah, I kinda keep forgetting a whole bunch of people believe in god and all. Or lost someone in the whole terrrorism fiasco we seem to be only partway though. Or are just sensitive about death, violence, terror and the whole darker side of human nature. How about I put some kind of disclaimer on the thread or something of that nature? Warn people before they get exposed to my thoughts in their rawest form. Or something like that, anyway. It's been so long since I've actually cared about pretty much anything beyond getting from one day to the next without breaking down that I forget the majority of people are still living their sheltered little lives. The life I abandoned aeons ago in favour of this one of uncertainty Oh yeah, for Sci Fi, go take a look at Sentinal May have to go backj a while to find it now, though
Ayshela Posted April 25, 2003 Report Posted April 25, 2003 Okay, is a disclaimer for personal opinion needed here? i don't think it's so much a matter of people "still living their sheltered little lives" as it is a matter of respect. Belief in God, or a Higher Being, or a power greater than we are, or whatever you believe in, is not necessarily a sign of weakness or unwillingness to deal with reality. It is simply a different belief, and as deserving of respect as yours is. By its very nature, the phrase which was objected to *is* disrespectful and therefore objectionable. Would a disclaimer help? If it's in the personality of the character to be crude, disrespectful and objectionable, perhaps a disclaimer to that effect would be helpful. If it's a matter of your own "voice" leaking through your writing unintentionally, a bit of care for others beliefs would not be amiss. All of which is still subject to the ultimate authority of Board Policy. In the end, though, it's really not an unreasonable request because even in the context of the rest of what you wrote it detracts attention from an otherwise interesting and entertaining post.
Recommended Posts