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The Pen is Mightier than the Sword

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Posted

The demon stands and debates for a moment, a plot trying to surface itself as he contemplates whether trying to run an RPG is a good idea or not..

 

Well, I suppose the first important topic at hand is members of the party. It is of no true concern to me as to how many people decide they would like to try a hand at an amateur DM, who bases his campaign off of the location around the Tavern where poets reside. I only ask that people don't flood the place... (managing twenty characters and four hundred enemies is a little difficult)

 

If anyone is interested, I have to inform them that the fights are probably going to be in a mild amount of gore, depending on if the villain you are to slay has blood or not. I can't determine whether I'm any good at this or not, but I'm willing to give it a shot if others are.

 

Let's see... a plot? Well, I was just... 'inspired' (cough, my girlfriend gave me an idea), and I think I might be able to do it...

 

The Mirror of Darkness, an extremely powerful artifact that grants its user one wish, for an unknown price, has been taken from the nearby temple where it had been guarded for centuries. The infamous kitsune, Elwen, has stolen it for her own reasons. As a small band, (or large band...) of mercenaries, you are being paid quite handsomely to retrieve it. I might add a small note... This thief, though evidently evil, is quite intriguing to me. Should you find her, you have permission to capture her, but should I find, or even remotely hear she has been killed, I will take all of the money for myself, and thus giving you nothing. You don't want to waste all of that hard work, now do you?

 

OOC:Elwen herself gave me permission for this plot... (In fact she gave it to me!)

Oh, and if you have read anything of hers... pretend none of those events have occurred yet. In short... you don't know anything besides what I told you.

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Posted

A tall, slender Elven maiden, her hair braided and pulled up into an intricate bun, enters.

 

"You are Damon Inferel, correct?" she asks quietly. "I heard your request for a mercenary. I am Iriador Wintermist, Elven sorceress and spellsinger. Would you be interested in hiring me?"

Posted

A petite elvish looking woman sits within the corner of the tavern. Her simple white robes decorated only by the Holy symbol that hung at her neck. She watched the interraction between the mercenary and Damon with curiosity while sipping from her goblet of cranberry juice. So, he's assembling a party. She thought to herself. Perhaps they could use the services of a healer? Senora stopped her thoughts before they carried any further adding a spice of reality to them. I'm sure they probably already have one, rarely are such exploring parties formed without one with a healing touch.

 

Talked out of volunteering by her own thoughts, she watched the two, disappointed that she wasn't needed.

 

((OOC I've never quite done this before, but I'm game to try anything. :0) Use me if you can. :0))

Posted

The sorceress looks around, and notices the cleric. With silent steps, she walks over to her. "Are you, perhaps, interested in finding this Elwen? My hands do not heal...all I am useful for is to destroy." her expression remains guarded, neutral, emotionless. "From your body language and the look on your face, you are indeed interested, lady cleric."

Posted

Senora tilted her head looking up at the woman standing before her considering the offer. Money had never interested her, the priestess found little use for it, however, her chapters much looked forward to her regular visits, her regular donations. Senora studied Iriador for a long moment her emerald green eyes assessing the woman. She didn't look particularly lethal, however, the priestess had learned long ago that looks were deceiving.

 

Finishing the last of her juice she brushed her fiery red hair out of her face and smiled sincerely at the mercenary. "Well, M'lady. If it is a healing touch you desire, then who am I to deny such a request? I was granted my abilities to help those in need, especially against darker forces." Motioning to the empty chairs that surrounded her table she added, "The two of you are welcome to assemble here at my table if you wish."

Posted

Iriador regards Senora enigmatically. "'Darker forces?' Well, I have my own reasons for taking on this quest...each to his own, is the saying. I do not believe our employer will much care what our reasons are, as long as we get the job done."

 

The sorceress sighs. "Inari-sama, what a mess..."

 

OOC: Inari is the fox goddess and creator of the kitsune-NOT commonly worshiped by elves!!

Posted

From behind the women, a booming voice asked, "A quest? And you're sending two women? Spellcasters, no less?"

 

Iriador and Senora turn to see the voice's owner. It turns out to be a huge man, over six and a half feet tall with muscles bulging beneath his armour. Strapped to his back is a massive sword almost as long as he is tall. He extends a hand toward the employer.

 

"I go by the name Harmon Eldarod, and you need my services if you expect these two little ladies to get within three towns of this Mirror thingy. Mind you, I don't work cheap." He then sat down beside the two women, threw an arm around Iriador and signals a waitress to bring him a drink.

 

ooc: this should be interesting :)

Posted (edited)

A not so booming, but almost equally commanding voice echoes from behind that tall, muscular man. "Oh Harmon, you're such a lummox. You need to have some charm, some grace." From the doorway steps a man not so tall, or muscular. Wearing a long blue and gold-embroidered jacket atop of a puffed white shirt, with a few laces undone at the top, the bottom laces hanging ever-so-loosely over top of a pair of silky black pants. A flute hangs to one side of the man's belt, balanced on the other by a thin rapier. Blond hair tied into a tail at the man's neck blows in the wind for a split second as his pale blue eyes scan the room. The torchlight of the tavern reflects of a thin golden circlet on his forehead. He steps towards the table where Harmon had nudged himself between the sorceress and the cleric, bows and hands each lady a fresh rose. "A pleasure to be in your presence. Hopefully the road will be equally pleasurable." Above the crowd he says, "I too will assist on this journey. An artifact of such power intrigues me, and surely a few tales can be written from such an adventure."

 

Damon looks at the bard quizzically, "Uh, sure. Your name?"

 

The bard smiles, then responds, "A shame that you have not heard of me before, but my name is Allan Siaciomore. Again, the pleasure is mine."

 

 

 

OOC: Haven't been a bard before. Heh. In case anyone was wondering, his last name is pronounced See-a-cho-mo-ray

Edited by The Big Pointy One
Posted

Through the door, a lithe figure slips in, garbed in black. He silently winds around the tables and approaches the gathering party. "I am seeking employment," he whispers quietly through a dark veil which covers most of his face, save for two piercing green eyes that seem to scan quickly over the other mercenaries, measuring them. "I am Llerro the Blade. I can go where others cannot and avoid detection. My services are not cheap," he adds as his eyes come to rest upon the prospective employer. The thief comfortably rests his gloved hands upon the hilts of twin daggers sheathed at his waist. Small pouches line a bandolier that is worn across his chest. Llerro stands with an ease awaiting a response.

Posted

OOC - Damon et all. I thought I'd add a little spice into this with a character that I rather like. Despite his attitude (which I hope will be fun to interact with), I assure you that me, the PLAYER is more than open to suggestions. Damon, if you'll have me, I think it could be a lot of fun. If not, no worries. Also, if the character doesn't work / clashes, then we'll work it out, hmm?

 

Oh! And one other thing, I like to add my character's thoughts to the story. True none can really hear them, but it adds something I think. If you don't like, let me know and I'll gladly stop. They're usually set aside in italics. Alright. Then, without further adeu (sp?), let me present...

 

~~~

 

Look at them... 2 ladies, a fool for a warrior, and a bard. Ha! As if a bard has something to offer such a mission. Still... all can be used in some way I suppose. Rumours, nothing more. An artifact such as the Mirror of Darkness? Highly unlikely. Still, it sounds worth the time of the old, and the lives of the young. Perhaps we shall see...

 

Over many nights, the old man had come down to the tavern to enjoy a meal and a drink silently in his own corner, and his own thoughts. Now, as Dameon made his speech, the man entertained his own thoughts quietly, keeping a close eye on those around him.

 

It will be difficult though. But I am certain that I can intrude on their parley... What's this?

 

The sorceress sighs. "Inari-sama, what a mess..."

 

She will be one I will have to watch. Elves....

 

Getting up from his unfinished meal, and dropping a couple of coins on the table to pay, he approached. His back was hunched, and an old and tattered tunic was all he managed to wear. He held no stick or cane to help him balance, though his steps were well placed and sure-footed. Attached to his belt was only a dagger, and his money pouch. Evidently his strongest weapon, however, was his mind. His eyes darted back and forth, taking in every part of the tavern He was suspicious of everything, and his deep hazel eyes betrayed overflowed with thought. At times, even his lips mumbled silently, as if there was some inward conversation to be had.

 

Towards Damon he walked, uncaring of the scoffs that many of the tavern patrons gave him. How was an old man to help on a quest to catch a thief?

 

Fools, all of them. To think that age has brought me weakness, a folly of youth. Nothing is what it seems.

 

"Damon." His words were firm, calm, and just above a whisper. His intent was not to hide his words, simply that he felt no need to pronounce to the rest of the tavern his words. "You require my services. I have succeeded in quests such as this before, and I will succeed again. If we can find this 'Elwen', then I will not allow her escape. Before you turn me down, allow me to share my thoughts. If I slow them down, they can leave me, and I will not be paid. But when I do succeed, you'll be thankful."

 

Seemingly done, the old man beggins to turn towards the table, but remembers suddenly a last thought. He laughs to himself and returns his gaze to Damon. "Only a thief knows the mind of a thief." Finally, uncertain of how much the group has heard of his conversation, the old man turns his attention to where Iriador, Senora, Allan and Harmon are seated.

 

Time to impress.

 

"Greetings..." Again his voice is cold, and quiet. His eyes gaze slowly over the table before helping himself to a seat. "My name is Enos. I'd like you to entertain the idea of my joining you."

 

The waitress comes with Harmon's drink. After a moment's hestiation, the old man named Enos threw a few of coins on the table with a smile. Even his voice seemed to regain a lost emotion. "My dear, to pay for the strapping gentleman, and to pay for an ale for the bard as well."

 

The smile, false only to the sharpest of eyes, Enos glanced at Senora before locking his gaze firmly on Irador for a great while. Finally he broke it, seemingly uneasy with his own thoughts. Shaking it off he laughed again.

 

"What's the point in saving gold if you're not willing to spend it? Ladies, can I get you anything?"

Posted

ooc: I too used the italics to identify thoughts. :0) Also, I like to play this character with the gift of empathy. She gets a general feel of how people are feeling. Sometimes it's stronger with some than others, and sometimes she misinterrpets the readings. If there is something she should be detecting about your character, please pm or email the information to me, and I'll subtly work it in. :0) Unless, ofcourse, this is alterior to the wishes of the kind dm. *smile*) Okay, Carrying on...

 

Quite the selection of people we have gathered here. Will it be wise to travel within such a varied group? The danger of the journey is one thing, but adding danger from ones own companions is another.

 

Senora sat in silent observation of the people who now sat at her table. Most people paid her little mind. Her wild red hair and unique elvish look would at first catch many eyes, however, once they drink in her humble attire and Holy Symbol, their interest was usually lost. The land had turned as such that people either loved priestess's or loathed them. The lack of attention didn't bother Senora, however. It usually allowed her unnoticed keen observation. She rather liked being underestimated.

 

Senora smiled as the newest man, an older gentleman offered them all a drink. His attention did not stay on her long which offered her a moment to analyze him without meeting his eyes. Senora had always had an acute intuition more closely like empathy.

 

Why did someone so mature in age wish to make such a journey? Again she reminded herself that looks are oft deceiving.

 

"lord," she said to the older chap. "Since you are so kind to offer, I have a goblet here, begging to be filled with cranberry juice." Smiling she observed the man to see just how sincere his offer was.

Posted

Iriador slaps the arm off her, and stands, glaring at both the fighter and the bard, obviously /not/ appreciative of the attention from either of the two men. Her expression is once more guarded, as she turns to the man named Enos. "No, thank you. I do not drink." the harper/sorceress says politely.

 

Her gray eyes darken as her thoughts take her for a moment.

 

OOC: Thoughts marked in (___)...and italics in /___/.

 

(Mother...please, hang on a little while longer.) she thinks sadly, thinking of the dying elven woman. (So, they are hunting for me. The best place to hide is in plain sight...so I will not be caught before I use the Mirror.)

 

A sad expression crosses the young Elf's lovely face. Obviously, these are dark thoughts.

Posted

OOC: If anyone else happens to join our motley crew, I will do my best to keep track so everyone joins in a conceivable manner. Just... If any of you get to be too much of a jackass, I'll ask you to leave.

 

Well, it seems we have a varietous group here. This artifact is quite important, so I accept each and every one of you to find it for me. I am not concerned with the price of your services, just try to stay away from the extraneous figures...

 

Let me see here... We have two thieves, a cleric, a bard, a fighter, a spellcaster of some sort, and... myself when I choose to intervene. I have to keep tabs on my only employees you know. It's not good for business if you die. I supose we should get started. I'll send any other applicants your way... You have today to rest, and then you depart.

 

OOC: Um... I had to figure out a way to say what the effects of stuff are, so I'll put all of the in-game details I dictate in parentheses. Such as (Damon waves) and more complicated stuff... bear with me...

 

(Senora detects a strange presence within Iriador... as if there are two seperate entities)

 

Setting: The innards of the tavern are but an illusion to a larger place. Several doors adorn the wooden walls, leading to a vast mansion, full of libraries and a large ball room where parties and banquets are held. The stairs in the back of the bar lead to the Conservatory, the general place where people gather to discuss issues and gossip while attending to the small greenhouse on the second floor. The room you are currently in holds twelve tables and an elaborate bar in the background, full of various races, who spend most of their time bragging and drinking. The door leading to the exit is five feet from your table, for convenience to those who decide they are too afraid to face the perils that await them.

 

OOC: *Blinks...* Um... I hope I have done well so far. i'm better with fighting, but I need to learn all of the other stuff too. That way, I can run my own campaign sometime in the real world! Meow!

Posted

Iriador faces her employer. "I do not care how much I work for. Money is of no importance to a harper with a price on her head. Pay me whatever you wish."

Posted

Senora begins to snicker as the other elven woman smacks the large arm of the warrior off of her. However, her gaffaw was cut short as a familiar sensation washed over her feeling much like an electrically charged gentle breeze. Only this breeze didn't stop when it hit her skin, no, it didn't stop until it permeated the very fibers of her mind. Gripping the neck of the goblet that she had only moments before slid towards Enos, she tilted her head to the side leaning forward a bit to see Iriador past the massive man that sat between them.

 

To others it might appear she was gaping openly at the woman. However, the cleric was merely mesmerized by the vibes she was getting from the woman and trying to understand them. Double...Two....Two of what? She needs two...no....she...feels the burdon of two....maybe... Senora remained frozen like this silently exploring her gift.

Posted

*The demon regards this elf with a look of concern* No, no, no... I do not decide the prices here, that is your job. If you do not wish to be paid, then simply say so, I have no qualms about free labor. As for the rest of you, name your price...

Posted

OOC:

Damon, I think you're off to a good start. Remember that story elements are the most important parts, imho anyways. Fighting happens, but as long as you don't make it the focus of your story, you're bound to do great! And if I may make a suggestion, ever-so-humbly; you don't have to listen to me at all, just giving you something to consider... When writing, a usual standard format is to have speech in quote and action just as regular text. Like you have done, Italics is good for setting backgrounds, and also for characters' thoughts. Just my two cents there, feel free to develop your own style, as that's what we are all here for! ^.^

 

So, as a character, Allan is new, so I'll still be working out his quirks. Chances are, he'll be another reflection of my personality, so he'll have his strong and weakpoints, obviously ;P Right now, I think he can basically be considered as your standard charming rogue-type character, like Edgar from FF6. Persistent with the ladies, not knowing when to give up, yet still honorable. Your basic hopeless romantic. Persistence will be his strongest point, I think. Once set on a task, he won't give up until it's over, or until he's dead. Generally, he's a kind-hearted person, and would be somewhere between good and neutral in AD&D terms, for those who know them better than I. As for physical attributes, Allan is a lithe man, agile as his form suggests. He moves with grace and dignity as often as situation allow. I swear, I'm like this, sometimes. Rarely. Heh.

 

Oh and Kas, I was wondering if story-wise, it'd be cool if Allan and Harmon were travelling companions or something like that. I admit I do not know if your character has history or not, and I realise simply saying "Oh yeah, me and you, we were buddies" or something like that may not exactly 'work', to say the least. But to continue on this line of thought, I think it'd be interesting story-wise if perhaps Harmon and Allan had some sort of friendly-rivalry thing going on. It's kind of a common tool of mine, since I enjoy employing it (obviously) Whatever you wish goes fine with me!

 

BiC:

 

Allan waved his hand at Enos' kind offer. The bard usually didn't drink in taverns, but rather instead in private quarters with whomever he had been lucky enough to charm into spending time with him. He smiled at the old man, showing him respect with a dip of his head. He was about to speak when Damon began giving the group instructions on their quest. He adjusted the rapier on his belt then moved to leave the table.

 

"Well, if we are to depart tomorrow, I think I am going to have fun tonight." with that, Allan moved around the room in a meager attempt to charm some of the lovely young lasses attending the tavern this eve. He wasn't too successful really, getting nothing more than meaningful conversation at best. However, he had fun, like he said he was going to do, and eventually went off to sleep and wait for whatever the 'morrow had to offer.

Posted

* blank, yet amused stare drifts between Senora and Iriador, as he wonders what could be so astonishing about an apathetic elf who seems to have an eerie aura of sadness about her. He decides it is best left unsaid and gives a small briefing, not caring who is listening or not*

 

All right, you all can stop flirting and gaping at open spaces. *Damon says a little cheerily as he lifts his hand and points to each member at his table* Each and every one of you are now allied to each other. Including you my elderly friend. Those who desert others are not paid, and I will not tolerate insubordination over petty things.

 

As you all are aware of, you are searching for a powerful artifact called the Mirror of Darkness. I should have you know that the place where it was stolen from is not anywhere near this tavern, because I wanted to watch all of you do something other than hike a mile and come around telling me you couldn't find it. It was located in a temple of Rallaster, hidden in the Laertes mountain range in the north. Mind you, it is very cold up there, so you might want to pack warmly. I naddition to the weather, it is guarded by a great deal of creatures, both human soldiers and native creatures who dwell in the snowy patches. Thus telling you that this Elwen character must be pretty powerful to obtain it. It should be about three weeks of a hike from here, and horses can only take you to the base of the mountain. From there, you must walk. I have horses in my barn located in the lot behind the main library.

Elwen is not to be killed, but rather captured and brought back here. If I find that she is a threat to me, then I will give you permission to kill her. I do not think she could kill all of you before one of us did her in anyway. I'm not exactly weak you know... I am not setting a deadline for the completion of this mission... Elwen is. I am uncertain what she is going to use the mirror for, but I do not trust her reputation at all, thus giving me the feeling it could jeopardize both you and the world populous. The mirror is that powerful. If she uses the mirror before you capture her, you either fail the mission and don't get paid, or she does something terrible enough to kill all of you and you just die, still not getting paid. As I said, you leave tomorrow morning. For those of you who were too busy contemplating what others might be thinking, Senora, you might want to inquire of someone else what is going on.

Posted

Iriador opens a bag she has carried with her and extracts a book from it. "I am fascinated by old legends...and the legend of the kitsune Elwen is one I am /very/ familiar with." she says dryly. "Calling her 'powerful' is an understatement."

Posted (edited)

OOC - Brute! Sorry I didn't mention you last time. I missed your post. :P So sorry. Damon, you're doing a fine job. Don't be afraid to be assertive; we will listen, and contribute our thoughts and feelings. :) We're all here to learn.

 

Edited - Elwen posted before I did (I was writing offline). I edited it to fit.

 

~~~

BiC:

 

 

"Including you my elderly friend. Those who desert others are not paid, and I will not tolerate insubordination over petty things."

 

Ha! They would desert far before I would. Youth have such weak stomachs for the grisly work.

 

Enos nodded silently, his attention from ale and cranberry juice drawn to Damon. He nodded silently at the debreifing. Once Damon is finished, Enos smiles. His voice once again, becoming invigorated. "An alliance. Between the six of us, I sincerely doubt this Elwen has a chance. I'll name my price Damon, but only when the work gets done. What is money when there are more important things at stake. I may be old, but if the Elwen you speak of has a mirror that could inadvertantly end my life - well that's worth much more then some gold coins."

 

Sitting back into his chair, Enos raised an eyebrow at Iraidor's mentioning, and gazed at the tome. "Oh?"

 

Interesting... she may be of more use than I thought...

 

"Care to enlighten us, my dear?" With sudden remembering, Enos turned to the waitress. "Miss! I need a cranberry juice for the young lass here... and an ale for me." He gave a nod to Senora, his eyes darting for only a moment to the holy symbol around her neck. "It seems this information may require a good drink to take in. Please, continue..."

Edited by Justin Silverblade
Posted

"Elwen is a kitsune. To the unenlightened, that is a fox spirit." Iriador says quietly. "A /very powerful/ one, even by the standards of demonkind. She has never been caught."

 

(Yes, I was never caught...) she sighs. "Very powerful, very canny, and a master strategist. And completely ruthless when it suits her whims." (Not anymore...) "That sums Elwen up in a few words."

Posted

(ooc: Please see the thread I have started in this forum separate from this thread. Thank you!!! *smiles*)

 

Senora smiled breaking off the long stem of the rose given to her and tucking the bud behind her left ear. Listening to the debriefing as well as ignoring the not so subtle slight from Damon she turned her attention to the explanation that Iriador has given. ...and... Was the thought that came to her mind as Iriador finished summing up Elwen. There is more. There is always more. The inner thoughts, feelings and emotions of a living creature is among the most intricate puzzles in life.

 

"What is her motivation?" The gangle of people that had gathered together for this quest looked over to the nearly forgotte cleric as she spoke.

 

"What?" Came the less eloquent and blurted response from Harmon. Senora glanced up at the waitress as she replaced her empty goblet with a new one filled with Cranberry juice flashing her a grateful smile.

 

"What is it that motivates this, Elwen? Do we know?" It seemed a simple logical question to the priestess, picking up her goblet, she raised it slightly at the elderly genteman as a thanks and began to draw from it awaiting an answer.

Posted

"No." Iriador replies. "According to all the stories, Elwen /never had/ any one motive...she just did what she wanted, with no regard to law or whether it was good or evil." she sighs. (I never had motives when I was still a full kitsune. But those days are over...this time, it's different. I will do anything to save my mother's life...even sacrifice my own life. And I know that is the price of the Mirror...but it matters not. I do not deserve to live...and she does.)

 

 

OOC: Oh, aren't I so evil? Has anyone figured out from reading her thoughts, what Iriador's secret is? And the best part is that IC, none of you can possibly know what it is!

Posted

(ooc: I foresee a problem on my part already...I can post at best, once a day. So, I think that I may just slide back into the shadows from whence I came and observe as a reader. I cannot truthfully tell you that I will be able to keep up with the pace, plus I've got a nasty cold at the moment that's just taking hold. I have a feeling that I wouldn't be able to keep up in my current state. I'm very sorry, Damon. This has the makings for a fine story, led by an able DM. :)

 

Llerro smiled in amusement behind his veil. He recognized several of the members of the party immediately. He had had substantial offers for both the old man and the elven girl, both of which had been turned down. The assassin seldom denied contracts, especially when they carried such hefty payments, but his reasons for those two were sound. He had refused to end the old man's life simply due to respect for him. Llerro had trained most of his young life for his profession as an assassin, but along with the knowledge of killing, came a knowledge of thievery. Llerro had heard of Enos' abilities for years. Boasts of feats that were either quite impossible or extraordinary. Llerro had seen with his own eyes that the latter was the case, and so held the older man in great reverance at the skill in which he performed. It was that reverance that had guaranteed Enos' safety from his blades at the frustration of a wealthy nobleman.

 

Llerro shifted slightly as Damon began his boisterous speech to the companions. Iriador, as she called herself, glanced quickly toward him and caught his eyes for a brief moment. Llerro's decision to deny her contract took no hestation at all. He had heard of her from unamed sources and knew the risks greatly offset the gains. Although Llerro had risen quickly in his profession, becoming a highly sought means to an end, he knew his limits. Elwen was quite beyond them. Giving her a wink with his emerald eyes, he turned to Damon and addressed him. "I believe I have been misinformed. You will have no need of my skills, good sir." Llerro the Blade bowed slightly to the bemused coordinator of the quest and turned ofr the door. He chuckled silently to himself at the irony hidden to them all.

 

 

 

 

(OOC again: Once more, I'm sorry to leave, just as it is getting good, but I fear that I may do you all an injustice ny impeding with the flow of the story. Were my time not so limited, I would gladly take part in this. Perhaps another time. I *wil* read and follow it though. You can be sure of that. ;) I hope that my farewell post aids, rather than hinders, the story. )

Posted

ooc: BPO, that'd be great. I really don't have much of a history thought out for Harmon, so putting the two together shouldn't be any problem.

 

ic: Harmon watched the thief leave with some surprise. This guy was turning down money? And he dared call himself a thief. Well, might as well take advantage of the situation...

 

"Dibs on his share. Oh, and yours too, Iry. So, yeah this chick's big and powerful and stuff and we need to go up to some mountain to pick up the trail, I gotcha. So, when do we start and when do we get paid? I need to know if I have time to show Al here how to meet women."


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