Chanz Posted April 9, 2003 Report Posted April 9, 2003 It rushes through me like a hot knife in butter, sends tingles up my spine and makes my stomach flutter. One smile sends my world into a daze, and covers my day with a light haze. A simple "hello", makes me feel all mellow. One touch, and i become weak, can't find the words to speak. I crave for his sweet and tender kiss, why am I feeling like this? What has come over me? I have this sudden sense that I can be free. I suddenly see the world in a whole new way, I now have spring in my step, everyday. Whenever he touches me, me heart skips a beat, but with all this, i still feel chained to a seat.
Peredhil Posted April 9, 2003 Report Posted April 9, 2003 Yay! A Happy Poem! Peredhil does the Happy Dance in reflected joy for her feeling.
Quincunx Posted April 11, 2003 Report Posted April 11, 2003 Another poem of yours where the end rises a scorpion's tail, but I think I'm reading into it more personally. I would love to see you unleashed from that couplet rhyme scheme as it's the only part that ever feels contrived--maybe step next to the sonnet, which builds around four lines and ends with a couplet as you do so well? --Tzimfemme, the naked mage
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