Application

[Salinye]

**Edited in hopes of removing the little square thingies.**

 

Ellowyn muttered to herself as she sat uncomfortably upon the hard wooden chair running her finger along a grain of the table. Tapping a well manicured fingernail of her other hand repeatedly she stared at the paper before her that was entirely blank save for one word printed at the top in bold writing and underlined for emphasis. It simply said Application . That was it. Nothing else. "Well", she thought to herself. "That is quite a ridiculous application. What am I supposed to do, just spout something brilliant off the top of my head? I mean, one cannot argue my brilliance, however, it is a lot to expect of a lady before breakfast!"

 

She silently cursed the paper twirling a long auburn strand of hair tightly around her finger, a subconscious habit she had always had. The paper, in return, simply lay there, smugly taunting her. Daring her to impress it. Laughing at the thought that that's even possible. Narrowing her eyes the woman finally placed the graphite tip of her pencil to the paper and began to write -

 

Celestial Dust

By Ellowyn L'Mon

 

Sometimes we get gifts that still have Celestial dust upon them......

Be sure when I run my fingers through your hair I am only brushing off remaining particles of Heaven. I sit here.... late at night, thinking of you.... You are only a room away, yet I can feel your spirit as if you are right beside me, no you're closer...You are -

 

The graphite stopped momentarily before violently scribbling over the few sentences written. With an inner groan Ellowyn dropped her forehead upon the table with a resounding thud. "That's enough to almost make ME gag." She thought slowly lifting her head glaring down at the marred application. The application remained smug seeming to say to her, "I told you so."

 

"Oh what do you know?" She said raising her voice in annoyance causing the few people scattered throughout the room to stop their writing giving her a look of disapproval at the interruption. Slinking down in her chair she again picked up the pencil determined to write something brilliant, or maybe just-halfway brilliant?

 

Charred wood. That is the scent the elven male could not pin point until now. Charred wood is the scent of fear. Ever since he had entered the caves he had detected the smell. At first he thought perhaps some of the smoke from the fires within the hills had some how found their way through the maze of caverns and made a permanent residence among the stalactite. However, his keen elven intuition told him otherwise. The fine hairs upon the back of his neck stood on end as he rounded the corner stopping in his tracks, the scent growing thicker seemingly overwhelming his senses.

 

"What is it?" The ill-mannered dwarf harshly whispered (hardly whispered causing the rest of the companions behind him to groan).

 

"Tha's right, Kaldor. Alert the 'ntire place we're 'ere why don'cha?" Whispered an annoyed voice from the back. The dwarf turned to face the accusation spat at him through the darkness willing to settle the manner with his axe rather than his words when Garon placed his hand firmly but gently upon the dwarfs shoulder.

 

"They're here. I smell their fear."

 

"UHG" Ellowyn silently despaired once again scribbling through the words. "I smell their fear?" What is this an "I see dead people" moment?" Crossing her sandal clad feet she tapped the eraser of her pencil rapidly her anxiety growing. It was only as she noticed the disapproving glances of those around her (once again) that she stopped her face heating slightly with a blush. "Come on Elly girl, pull it together. You can do it, just write something down."

 

Closing her eyes and inhaling a deep breath of the stale library style air around her, she tried one last attempt at brilliance.

 

"Come in RotDawg Come in. This is Jimmy 500 and I need immediate back up, do you hear me? The snake has been found. He is down, but I am requesting immediate back up before proceeding." Jimmy Johnson whispered as loud as he dared into the walkie talkie.

 

"Roger that." Cshhhhhk "Sending back up immediately" cshhhhhk. Came the scratchy reply from the radio. Slowly Jimmy tipped the too large helmet back up and leaned his head around the doorframe to look once again into the kitchen. He could see the tennis shoes followed by denim legs sticking out from underneath the yellow gingham tablecloth in the center of the room.

 

Moments passed by as if minutes. The strong beating of his heart the only sound within the small cottage style house. Finally, being able to wait no longer he pressed his back to the wall, raised his gun offering a silent prayer and stepped around the doorframe into the kitchen his eyes fixed on the red sneakers beneath the table. He only got two steps inside before the room erupted into chaos. Bullets flew around the room splattering blue and red paint all over the pristine whiteness that was the kitchen decor. Jimmy grabbed at his chest as paint bullets slammed into him. Dropping to the floor he watched as the red sneakers retreated under the tablecloth and was replaced by a well-armed and smiling Terry Hicks. Behind him Freddy Mealstine and Toby Clark jumped off of the counter aiming their paint guns at his head. The only thing Jimmy could think to do was yell frantically into his six-dollar walkie talkie "RETREAT! It's an ambush! I repeat, RETREAT!"

 

The warning was cut short as a high-pitched scream accompanied by breaking glass echoed through the kitchen. Looking up all the boys froze as Jimmy's mother walked through the back door dropping her groceries to the floor...

 

"FORGET IT!" Ellowyn finally grumbled in frustration scribbling so hard upon the smug paper, that by now was laughing at her, causing the tip of her pencil to break. Crumpling the paper up into a ball she looked at the man who stood rather stoically behind the counter. "This is just FAR too much for me to handle on an empty stomach!" Standing she grabbed her purse and headed towards the exit tossing the balled up paper over her shoulder at the rather startled young man before arrogantly prancing from the building. "Perhaps after I've had breakfast I'll be brilliant." She told herself once again strolling down the street heading towards 6th Avenue Cafe.

 

salinye@hotmail.com

[Wyvern]

Salinye sighs glumly as she broods over her cup of coffee and her french croissant, staring longingly out of one of the 6th Avenue Cafe's windows while contemplating ways to write an application without her piece of paper abruptly laughing at her. Taking a large bite of her croissant while leaning back in the mahogony cafe' stool where she sits, the Pen applicant raises a brow as she suddenly notices a strange-looking barbershop quartet humming directly in front of the Cafe'. The four members of the quartet, comprised of the Pen Elder dwarves Sexy, Greedy, Grouchy, and Courteousy respectively, each wink in the direction of Salinye and give her thumbs up signs. Then, Sexy the Pen Elder Dwarf breaks into a singing solo, chanting the advertisement:

 

"If you need... a sexy sexy paper

One that's docile... and won't attempt a caper

One that'll improve, your looks and class

Buy Wyvern's and don't even asssssk!"

 

Greedy then starts singing:

 

"If your pages... are kind of expensive

And you need... somethin' cheaper than your rent is

Get something cheap, and get something fast

Buy Wyvern's and don't even assssssk!"

 

Grouchy sings:

 

"If your paper... makes you feel kind of grumpy

And you want... something a little less lumpy

Wyvern is probably not the place to go

But hey... at least it costs less doooough!"

 

The other three dwarves glare briefly at Grouchy before Courteousy chips in and sings:

 

"If your sheets... are acting kinda cocky

Always rude... n' laughing or mocking

Politely shove those sheets in the drawer

And come buy some from Wyvern's stooooore!"

 

Having finished their advertisement for Wyvern Brand Tame Paper™, the four Elder dwarves bow to the bystanders surrounding them as several tomatoes, shoes, and small cats are tossed at them by pedestrians who hate having their day ruined by particularly corny songs. Salinye giggles to herself as Sexy the Pen Elder Dwarf wanders up to her cafe' stool holding a pamphlet containing several "tame" papers and purring:

 

"Hey baby... how about purchasing some of these Wyvern Brand Tame Papers™? I know you can't resist my manly advertising charms... after all, I'm the sexiest dwarf this side of-"

 

Sexy is suddenly shoved out of the way by Greedy the Pen Elder Dwarf/Semi-Lizard, who hisses:

 

"Salinye, listen, I've got this overstock on Wyvern Brand Tame Paper™, so here's what I'm going to do: I'm going to charge'em to you at only their regular sales price, minus government imposed taxes plus an additional loyalty charge fee divided by the surplus quotient times the common denomonater of 34,589,723/234,872,384,798 and 2,384,928,347/2,459,009,456,803..."

 

Greedy is interrupted as an angry Sexy gets back to his feet and chases him out of the cafe', the two dwarves followed by Grouchy, who's interested in seeing them brawl... Corteousy sighs as he's left alone with his potential client. Politely turning to Salinye and smiling the Elder Dwarf exclaims:

 

"I encourage you to try out one of these Wyvern Brand Tame Papers™ for free... they're surprisingly docile for a Wyvern product, and shouldn't cause you much trouble in the politeness department. Each individual paper has been processed through a wiggly cabbage and a fuzzy camp to ensure tranquility, and has chromosomes immune to the invasion of random squares and ™ symbols..."

 

Salinye smiles at the politeness of the dwarf, accepting one of his papers only to find that it's her application, and that it's been stamped "ACCEPTED"

 

;-)

 

OOC: Definitely an ACCEPTED application, Salinye, welcome to the Mighty Pen! My apologies for the amount of time it took for me to write a response... I greatly enjoyed your application in addition to many other writings you've posted at the Pen, and encourage you to keep up the good work. Once again, welcome!

[Ayshela]

(giggling madly)

congratulations, Salinye! i hadn't seen your app before. Somehow the forum marked itself read before i got to yours. Too bad, as it's well worth reading and a definite day brightener!

[Jareena Faye]

Jareena turns in her cafe stool, then stands and strolls over to Salinye. Salinye is still in grateful awe, smiling at her accepted (though slightly crumpled) application. Jareena leans against the booth and nods. "He tried to sell me stuff, too."