Pestilence Posted April 5, 2003 Report Posted April 5, 2003 ok...this is mah first TRY at a poem... if its seriously bad... tell the truth..dont lie to me.. k? Hell ill prolly confuse u While gazing out and through the stars I wonder are we trapped by imaginary bars There are many mysteries that are to be unraveled Like what is the limit to outer space travel Is there something out there awaiting our arrival? Or a being or race waiting to threaten our survival? We can only wait for a phenomenon to occur While the empty thoughts we have begin to mature Have you ever considered there being another realm? The uncertainty masks u from enlightenment like an iron helm Trying to put this all together is qute impossible for now For now, we have ignorance and our thoughts are like a cloud As we put the search for answers to a hold There could be a plan yet to unfold.... Are you one who does not care? Or are u like me, whose thoughts are "out there?'
Tasslehoff Posted April 5, 2003 Report Posted April 5, 2003 Not to bad for a first poem.. Seems a tad rough, but it works really nice
Archaneus Posted April 5, 2003 Report Posted April 5, 2003 Nice idea but, like Tass said a bit rough. Look at some of your phrases and see if you can smooth it out a bit.
Annael Posted April 5, 2003 Report Posted April 5, 2003 I don't think that it's rough. I think it works. Good work for your first try Pesty Remember, poetry is the expression of ones self. There is no right or wrong. Write what you feel and let it flow. It'll work in the end. *flutters her wings and wanders off looking at the stars*
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