Distarius_WhiteRobes Posted March 23, 2003 Report Posted March 23, 2003 Yeah, that's not a lie. This here---Only the SECOND poem I've ever done EVER. ---I'm not much of a poet, huh? Oh well, bare with me. It ought to get better eventually A & S Abandoned or Shielded The two kinds of people Extremes together Opposites intertwined Intolerable allies Together they work their evil Producing identical outcomes Abandoned or Shielded Abandoned is to be alone Working for yourself Pushing away others Who might pull you down A level of dependency No one needs Abandoned or Shielded Shielded is to be alone Not knowing fear or hate Materials handed to you Drowning you in your bliss It separates you from “them” You can’t relate Abandoned or Shielded Together they torment Stalking new souls Claiming new victims The lonely, the few They stand so close Yet it is impossible To say even ‘hi’
Kokuryuu Flameshifter Posted March 23, 2003 Report Posted March 23, 2003 I liked the poem though! It was very very very nice! Apparently, I've inspired you to become a poet! Haha. I've rubbed off. Anyhow, I truly liked that poem. -Ryuu :dragon4:
Tasslehoff Posted March 23, 2003 Report Posted March 23, 2003 lmao.. oh.. for a second, I didnt realize that you had written your own response.. ha ha.. oh boy.. I must still be tired..
Orlan Posted March 23, 2003 Report Posted March 23, 2003 A good poem. The beginings of the stanzas reminded me of "FOBulous" by Bao Phi. You might want to browse through his works, they're actually quite good. Most of his are from Slam competitions so they need to be heard to be really appreciated, but this one you can get as is.
Alaeha Posted March 23, 2003 Report Posted March 23, 2003 I know how it is... I wrote random verse for a creative writing class, but I wouldn't call it poetry. I didn't really start writing poetry until sometime around late november/early december (when I first began to suspect that I had fallen/was falling in love. /shudder I hate such terms... they seem so cliche... oh well. If the shoe fits...) A good poem. Just keep writing. You can't help but improve the form with time, as you get used to making the words flow together. There's already plenty of feeling to it. Definition of Poetry (as it was taught to me): Words written with feeling, that flow together and cause the reader to feel something. I guess that makes poetry a relative thing. Much like music. Appropriate, since they're so similar. I'll quit rambling now.
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