Falcon2001 Posted March 17, 2003 Report Posted March 17, 2003 Love Poem I know I'm not the brightest soul to sparkle on this rock Nor am I the most nimble soul, to open any lock I may not be the strongest man to live upon this world But I'm the fool that loves you, my dearest darling girl I never climbed Mount Everest nor did I ever try I never found the city of gold, and I'm not ashamed to cry I never once opened a door that led to a lost city But here I am, my dearest one, and I hope that you love me I'm not a perfect wordsmith, nor am I amazing at prose I cannot write an epic tale with the ease of blowing ones nose My plots have holes like a beggar's coat, and are worth about the same But I love you nonetheless m'dear, and I hope I'm not too plain This poem's not the best one out, it's probably mediocre and trite But it says the things I meant to say, and I hope it says them right But there is one thing I know, and I know it through and through My dear Rachel, my darling girl, I know that I love you. heh, tell me what you guys think...I didn't like it too much, but it's poetry nonethless.
whynotsin Posted March 17, 2003 Report Posted March 17, 2003 I like it. Very sincere ture and simple. I enjoyed reading it.
Tasslehoff Posted March 17, 2003 Report Posted March 17, 2003 WoW Falcon.. That was very good indeed. Bravo job!
Vigil StarGazer Posted March 17, 2003 Report Posted March 17, 2003 Soaked with sappiness, enought to make ice queen melts and so memorable it's worthy of hallmark distinction I could actually imagine it in a pink and rosey card perfumed with channel 09 So Falcon, who's the lucky girl? *wink Wink*
Justin Silverblade Posted March 17, 2003 Report Posted March 17, 2003 You didn't like it too much Falcon? Bah! I thought it was great! Fav lines of mine (though lots of them struck out): I know I'm not the brightest soul to sparkle on this rock But I love you nonetheless m'dear, and I hope I'm not too plain But it says the things I meant to say, and I hope it says them right The first line with its humility caught my eye immediately and then it was just great work from there. Yeah, maybe you think it's a bit hallmark-y, but I think that hallmark could learn a thing 'er two from you. This Rachel gal's pretty lucky if the poem is actually about someone you know (though if it is about your feelings, there's a couple of lines in there that I'd despute ). So you want my opinion? Give it a look over to make sure it's actually how you wanted (if you haven't already done that), and then sign, seal, and deliver it. I think it's a love-poem keeper. Thanks for sharing Falcon, it was a pleasure reading. - Justin
Falcon2001 Posted March 17, 2003 Author Report Posted March 17, 2003 Currently I've got it in my pocket, waiting to give it to her I'm hella nervous. Oh well, c'est la vie.
Cerulean Posted March 17, 2003 Report Posted March 17, 2003 Do it! Do it! Do it! *Hugs for luck* She'll love it, I bet. C.
Rune Posted March 27, 2003 Report Posted March 27, 2003 hehe i like it alot! its so cute. I think there are some spots that could be improved but in reality they contribute to the message as they are. If it were too perfect then it would sound rehearsed and insincere, its minor mistakes and common wording give it it’s own uniqueness.
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