DoomGaze Posted March 14, 2003 Report Posted March 14, 2003 Watch me -------------------------- Look at my lifeless soul on this grave, None of which, anyone could save. Watch my spirit flow so freely, Constantly bound by the chains of eternity. Look into a mirror, see no reflection, My mind wandering in the every direction. It shatters, falling into pieces, All my hope, just suddenly ceases. A blink of an eye is all it took, For all the writing to vanish from my book. A fit of rage, pages are torn, Wishing that once again, I could be born. The hourglass sips the last of its sand, And, still there is no helping hand. Everything on my mind is Kill, Kill, Kill!! As I watch my own red blood spill. My own life drains it's essence, Traitor, I say, in my own presence. Everyone turning their backs on me, But here I plead, begging on one knee.
Peredhil Posted March 14, 2003 Report Posted March 14, 2003 hugs That's intense. I'm not sure what feedback to give, cause I'm still absorbing it. given my love/hate relationship to my own writings, I resonated to this stanza though: A blink of an eye is all it took, For all the writing to vanish from my book. A fit of rage, pages are torn, Wishing that once again, I could be born Wish I had more to say, but I wanted to let you know I'm reading and I care enough to admit I'm stunned. Hugs again
Tasslehoff Posted March 14, 2003 Report Posted March 14, 2003 damn that was good Jeff. Way to go.. I like that one! My favorite too
Elvida Posted March 16, 2003 Report Posted March 16, 2003 yeah. that's great keep up the good work :D
Archaneus Posted March 16, 2003 Report Posted March 16, 2003 I'm going to have to go on a contemplation trip with Pered for this one. Great job.
Rune Posted March 27, 2003 Report Posted March 27, 2003 I think ive read this poem 10 times trying to figure out what I want to say. Im kind of speechless. I was sort of lost after the first 4 lines. Not lost in a bad way, but because those lines seemed so vivid and strong. I think its the mention of a lifeless soul. I believe that your soul is what guides you through life and although I think it is possible to speak from your heart or your mind, your soul is what provides the words. Since a soul is useless without a body or a life in my opinion, to think of a lifeless, or a discorporate (lost) soul.. really hit hard. Beautiful as always. Thank you for sharing.
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