lumpenproletariat Posted March 12, 2003 Report Posted March 12, 2003 ...tried to do sensibly... Trees deep down below Devoid of light. They struggle to grow Second in the fight. This you shall need Luck of the fall Heed the detail. Don't miss the call For the fight will fail. Follow the lead Never unseen Often observed. Always been Undisturbed. Absence of greed Mature. Limb. Endure Kin. Drop your seed Join the fight.
Rune Posted March 12, 2003 Report Posted March 12, 2003 Wow. Its very impactful although Im not quite clear on the exact message which to me means that it is written very well. Even when hard to understand certain poems just seem to make a connection. Thank you for sharing.
Vlad Posted March 12, 2003 Report Posted March 12, 2003 Wow, this was great. Very excellent rhyme structure and great one word per line stanza.
Tralla Posted March 13, 2003 Report Posted March 13, 2003 ...nifty. I like the play of passive versus aggressive imagery. They're well contrasted, here. Good job lumpy. =)
lumpenproletariat Posted March 13, 2003 Author Report Posted March 13, 2003 I've bamboozled myself The first meaning I was trying to convey was a general comment on life, always someone that has one up on you, etc, and maybe even to an extent from the point of view of a new writer...I certainly remember feeling this way when I first started posting on the archmage UBBs, the big names I saw floating around, names that I now consider friends... Theres another meaning though, one which I won't share, heh.
Rune Posted March 13, 2003 Report Posted March 13, 2003 bamboozled is such a good word. bam! some boooozes, and an led light. >___< Ok well I like the word.
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