Cerulean Posted March 9, 2003 Report Posted March 9, 2003 I didn't miss you. You thought I would with every tissue. I didn't miss you. There was no issue - my aim being good. I didn't miss you; you thought I would.
Zariah Posted March 9, 2003 Report Posted March 9, 2003 WOW! I really like the flow of this. It's simple. A clean message. Rhymes! And it's cute. Not that the topic is, but the flow!
Vlad Posted March 9, 2003 Report Posted March 9, 2003 I'm really impressed... I'll try to read more of your writing cerulean
Blondemoon Posted March 9, 2003 Report Posted March 9, 2003 Heh...I originally thought it was about one thing, but then the last few lines just changed that entirely. I like this!
Cerulean Posted March 10, 2003 Author Report Posted March 10, 2003 Thanks for the positive comments folks. This was my first stab at a Triolet - and I'd intended four shifts of perspective over two readings. I'm not sure if I pulled it off - but I'm more engaged with this piece than usual. I'll let it fester awhile, then revisit. Cheers, C.
Rune Posted March 13, 2003 Report Posted March 13, 2003 hehe its kind of funny in a way..I imagine a fellow running away with an arrow in his bum and the girl going "hai, didnt miss ya" Great Poem!
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