Vlad Posted March 2, 2003 Report Posted March 2, 2003 i am alone the day is long and tedious i stay away from others who wish to do me harm i am cold. the air is thin and crisp. i hudle in a corner, searching for life. I am a person. the life I never had looms, I reach to grab it's feet- just as it slinks away. I am myself! You cannot be like me, I'm proud to be an individual. Staying away from your psuedo-existance. ------- I don't really like how the last stanza turned out. All comments are apreciated. (Yes, the punctuation and capitalization are intentional.)
Tamaranis Posted March 2, 2003 Report Posted March 2, 2003 I can't comment on actual structure or such, because I just can't... Nice poem though. I think I know how you feel...
Archaneus Posted March 2, 2003 Report Posted March 2, 2003 Yeah, I'm with Tamaranis on this one, I can never think of editting ideas but I can say one thing... Great job.
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