Falcon2001 Posted February 26, 2003 Report Posted February 26, 2003 This is a poem I wrote a while ago and just recently decided to post here, so don't worry, my girlfriend and I are doing fine ;; anyway, I thought it was a fairly good piece, so here it is. I would give my life for you For all the things you do But tonight I died again A simple tearing at my heart Tear me open with gentle words Lay hands upon my heart and burn I don't need my heart anymore Take it from me please I would tear myself into bits Throw caution to the wind Rend my sullied flesh To forget about you... All the time we spent Has turned to acidic shame I can't believe that I could Burn in hell for love But now I've come unglued But not because of you Because I was defective A broken machine I would numb myself to life Help myself to strife Die a thousands deaths To forget about love Love's my true enemy It won't let me be Every time I try I end up so lost and damned A knifeblade in my spine Would be much less pain Hell would be sweet symphony To my lovelorn mind I would.
Tasslehoff Posted February 26, 2003 Report Posted February 26, 2003 That was very well written Falcon.. WoW. I mean, the poem really speaks to me, for I myself am a firm hater of love. lol.
DoomGaze Posted February 26, 2003 Report Posted February 26, 2003 I agree with Tass, well written indeed, i wanna see more of this work from you falcon.. it is really excellent.. on the otherhand, i agree with Tass being a love hater
Archaneus Posted February 26, 2003 Report Posted February 26, 2003 Great job! I agree with the others completely, well written and I also am a hater of love.
Blondemoon Posted February 26, 2003 Report Posted February 26, 2003 This is great Falcon! I'm casting my vote with the others on this one, even though I'm not a hater of love.
Peredhil Posted February 26, 2003 Report Posted February 26, 2003 Peredhil sighs, as he is a Lover and a Lover of Love. But I still recognize good writing..
Seii Posted February 27, 2003 Report Posted February 27, 2003 Personally I love (pun intended) dramatic styles such as this, Falcon. All the lists of things you WOULD and CAN do is awesome. It makes everything appear in the future, as if there will BE a future for sure. And I also am a lover of love. It is the best perpetuator of hope, after all.
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