Falcon2001 Posted February 23, 2003 Report Posted February 23, 2003 I. -Introduction- It's a long hard road to the top of the hill Where the summers and sunny and the roses are red I need to be perfect without help or pill To be worthy of my friends or my home or my bed II. -Forming the Line- I need to be perfect- my creed I demand nothing less from myself. If I were to stumble- and fail I would not be worth much more than shit. So I must be perfect and true 'Cause I'm not worthy of my friends. III. -Creed- Life is long and painful, filled with jagged rocks They tear at my flesh and soul, but I must go on If I give in, I'll fail and stumble I cry out for guidance, but accept none that is forthcoming. If I accept help I am weak, belittled, less of a man I must be perfect I must be perfect I must try harder I must be more than I am now, always more If I don't become perfect life will swallow me up I have been given a last chance by Him And if I fail He will leave me and so will my friends There is no hope but perfection for me. My heart is torn, I will toss it aside I have no place for weakness. IV. -Mantra- The lord is my shepherd One day I will reside in peace Eternal chaos is a small price To pay for distant paradise I will lift him up in praise And thank him for every blessing And strive to be what he wants Perfect. V. -Finality- I cannot fail. I must be perfect.
Seii Posted February 24, 2003 Report Posted February 24, 2003 Very interesting poem. It's definitely something that a runner would say, while they're jogging and simply trying their hardest to finish. By the way, whoever these friends are (and whoever this "He" is...a father maybe?) they must not be all that great if they walk away from you after a single mistake. -Seii
Zariah Posted February 28, 2003 Report Posted February 28, 2003 I really really really like te creative fashion in which you seprated the poem (The five sections). Edit: I think in the second line you meant to say "summers are sunny". Perhaps this is a typo eror? My favorite stanza is Mantra. I think this is because I haven't seen on the pen before any form of poetry praising God in a personal way. In terms of you, I hope that if this reflects you, that you know God will not reject you, but this is a different issue than a poem. Thank you for this creative expression!
Passionsrejected05 Posted March 1, 2003 Report Posted March 1, 2003 Mehr, Will I hope your not talking about YOUR friends, cause THIS friend would never leave you, no matter what you did.
Falcon2001 Posted March 1, 2003 Author Report Posted March 1, 2003 Yes, I was talking about my friends. And you will all leave someday. Because I push too hard. And that's it.
Seii Posted March 1, 2003 Report Posted March 1, 2003 So has Falcon spoken...however wrong he is, he shall never accept the truth on this earth.
Passionsrejected05 Posted March 2, 2003 Report Posted March 2, 2003 William! You are so full of it! I am NEVER EVER LEAVING. Do you hear me little boy!? I said NO...NO NO NO. How do you like em apples?
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