Elvida Posted February 22, 2003 Report Posted February 22, 2003 (edited) The darkness of night consumes me. I feel alive in it, and fire floods my veins. I walk endlessly for hours, Just thinking and planning, Watching and waiting. Then crowds of people ruin my reverie. They turn and stare wondering who I am. Who the black-clad girl is, Who dares to walk alone in the night. I just smile and think "This is me." I am the girl you walk past at night, Who watches you as you walk away. I am the fire in the night. The one that thrives in The delicious darkness of it all. ----------------------------------------- Not my best I know... <_< stupid not-getting-any-sleep syndrome.lol just kidding. Edited February 22, 2003 by Elvida
Archaneus Posted February 22, 2003 Report Posted February 22, 2003 (edited) I think Reverie will like this one. Hehehe. Well, it's not bad, it just sounds... I don't know, lacking. Like it needs more, but then again that could just be my insanity talking. Lol. Edited February 22, 2003 by Archaneus
Elvida Posted February 22, 2003 Author Report Posted February 22, 2003 yeah i know....I'll work on it i was just not too awake last night when i wrote it......lol
DoomGaze Posted February 22, 2003 Report Posted February 22, 2003 its good, but i dont think you were tired last night cause of lack of sleep but you were ... you know... preoccupied with me
Peredhil Posted February 22, 2003 Report Posted February 22, 2003 I like the concept of it, her choice to be the different one and the sense of hidden power it gives her. I look forward to reading the rewrite.
Vigil StarGazer Posted February 22, 2003 Report Posted February 22, 2003 "When you passed by someone in a crowd, you never realized that another person also has its individual personality, its problems, life, and most of all it's unlqueness", and the poem expresses that idea well.
reverie Posted February 23, 2003 Report Posted February 23, 2003 (edited) ...i can relate... I've wandered alone in the dead night a time or two... nothing as peaceful as a completely dark room either... good for the soul... good for creativity... I go with colors now-a-days... was once called 'techno-color' ...anyways... nice vison... thanx for sharing the moment... revery the dreamlost "let me take you down...." (strawberry fields/beatles) the dream continues... Edited February 23, 2003 by reverie
HopperWolf Posted February 23, 2003 Report Posted February 23, 2003 "When you passed by someone in a crowd, you never realized that another person also has its individual personality, its problems, life, and most of all it's unlqueness", and the poem expresses that idea well. I would say it not so much expresses that idea but stakes a claim. This girl is stating that she is a person too, she is unique and has her problems. But at the same time there is a sense of denying the very thing she is trying to communicate. she looks upon the crowd as just that, more of a swarm, if any identity is seen by her it is that of a single autonomous being. They all do the same thing, and she refers to them as a whole. No thought for who they are. But then, that in it's own sense, gives an equally powerful message about the human psyche(sp?). The idea of being higher and seeing the greater truth but still unable to alter the facts. It is not hypocrisy, merely human nature.
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